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How's everyone doing today?
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289 days old
last post: Oct 28, 2020
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How's everyone doing today?

1 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 01:44
Just checking up on you anons, how's it going today?
I'll try posting here everyday if I can (or most), would be cool if you guys did too.
Today was pretty good, made some serious progress on an almost booru-type thing I'm writing, and talked with some friends. How was your day, anon?
2 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 02:29
I want to be positive and have good vibes but it's hard. It's probably the hardest thing.
3 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 13:25
I made a new friend today, she is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.
4 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 13:59
I'm fighting from getting sick. I'm not entirely feeling the best. But it seems like I won't get any worse, hopefully. I'm just sitting here listening to a new band that was introduced to me through conversation online.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D90AOhojK3M

I think I'm going to try to rest most of the day so that way I can build my strength up and not get sick. Might watch some anime or draw something.
5 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 14:43
I've been sewing for 5 hours.
6 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 15:32
>>3
That sounds great, it's always awesome to make a new friend.

>>5
What're you making?
7 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 15:43
>>3
I too have made a new friend recently who just so happens to also be one of the sweetest people I've ever met. We've grown rather close over the past two months or so.
8 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 16:33
I'm applying for a new job, want to get at least 50% salary increase, my current workplace is a dead-end. Just sent cv to 3 companies I'm interested in. I'm not very confident of my skills and I already failed one interview a few months ago, so it's pretty stressful.
9 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-14 21:47
>>8
Good luck, and try to relax
10 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-15 00:40
>>9
Thanks, I'll try.
11 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-16 16:43
Kinda rough to be honest. It'll be okay though, just gotta get through this little rough spot.
12 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-16 17:02
>>11
What's going on, something getting you down?
13 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-16 18:57
>>12
I thought I could carry someone's burdens for them. I have since learned I can't and now I need to find a way to tell them.
14 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-16 19:17
>>13
That shit's really difficult to deal with, especially when dealing with someone in a lot of physical or emotional pain, considering there's no way to really tell them without pain of some kind. I really hope you'll be able to figure this out and tell them in the least painful way.
15 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-16 19:35
>>14
I really hope you'll be able to figure this out and tell them in the least painful way.
Thanks anon, I'm hoping so too.
16 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-17 13:10
>>15
Update: Well, I did it. It wasn't easy, but they took it pretty well and are thankfully still willing to stay friends with me.
17 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-17 23:39
I googled my long lost best friend on a whim. He's a photographer now. The last time I saw him, I gifted him my film camera. He was taking another path in life and he was making so many excuses not to hang out, so it was my way of saying goodbye before leaving him alone.
He still uses the camera for the photos he posts on Instagram. It made me happy to see that.
18 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-18 12:43
>>17
I have a similar friend, but he became a politician. And the making excuses one was me.
19 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-18 13:54
>>17
I made sure I could never been found through a Google search for one of those exact reasons. I don't want people from my past to "google search" me to pry into my personal life at any given moment.
20 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-18 15:10
>>19
I agree, but I knew he had an Instagram so I don't think he'd mind if a stranger saw his feed.
21 Name: Paperplane : 2020-01-18 17:40
OMW to New Zealandy it's 24h of flight. London -> Hong Kong -> NZ.
Never traveled alone but gf left me December last year.
Wish me luck bois.
t. waiting at the airport
22 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-18 18:31
>>20
Yeah, I guess that's true. If I had to have an Instagram, I think I'd just use a pseudonym. What's people's thoughts here on that?
23 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-19 21:26
I finally took a nice walk and visited this cozy little pub in town. I wish I had the money to go for a drink every weekend, it really clears your mind.
24 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-21 15:20
Just received an email which I send myself 12 years ago, I was 15 back then. It was full of hopes and dreams for the future and I realized I didn't succeed in any of it. Heck even my younger self telling me that I better have finished school by now is a tough one to swallow.
Oh well, despite how I passive I lead my life all those years, things are now getting better through perseverance and effort.
25 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-22 10:11
Struggling with some inner demons but I've been working on my typing speed. I'm averaging up to 97 WPM now. So I guess I'm kind of happy with that anyways. Sorry I don't have anything else really to add. I'm kind of boring and I don't have much of an exciting life.
26 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-22 14:29
I am feeling weird because the font and possibly other things have changed here, at least for me.
27 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-22 18:57
I'm struggling to find the motivation to do all the work I have due next week. I haven't read anything this month (literature being my favorite hobby) because I can barely get out of bed, let alone do any activity that requires any amount of attention. I can only hope the rest of the year isn't as bad as these weeks have been.

>>24
I sincerely hope things get better for you anon
28 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-22 22:38
Things are okay today, it started out with me feeling some depression missing loved ones who are gone or out of my life now. But I'm going to find something to cheer me up this evening. Going to try a new kind of chips here in a bit as well. So that'll be a different experience anyways.
29 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-23 01:55
Procrastinating and feeling bad about it. Maybe tomorrow...
30 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-23 06:29
I'm doing alright, listening to some relaxing music, browsing around the interwebz for a bit. Thinking about fixing a bite to eat and finding something to watch. Might play a game or two then hit the bed.
31 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-23 06:30
>>29
What are you procrastinating over? I've definitely been there. I'm currently doing the same with cleaning my room. But I just don't know where to start.
32 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-23 13:23
>>31
Some time-sensitive work that I really shouldn't be pushing to the side, especially the way I do. I just lose track of time when I'm browsing the web/playing video games.
33 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-23 17:05
>>32
I'm terrible about that myself. Minutes easily turn into hours.
34 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-24 12:01
Everything and everyone ticks me off. I'm a walking ball of hatred. Again. Hate it when it happens. Don't know what to do with this.
35 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-24 12:40
I think I have stumbled upon the audio equivalent of an acid trip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0866MeDOUh8
36 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-24 12:43
>>34
Same, but I love animals. I wish I could live in a hut in the forest.
37 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-24 13:29
>>34
Awareness is the first step, for me it is absolutely essential to focus my attention on things I enjoy but also I have to push myself to "accept" positive thoughts about things and people, and force myself to speak them out if possible. Else I too fall into a pit of hatred for everything around me.

Seek out things you like, seek out people you don't hate as much and give them a little compliment, even something small will do. You have to work on it constantly and keep your chin up and let things out of your control go.
38 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-24 21:19
i'm doing fine, hope you anons have a great day too
39 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-25 04:42
Rather late at night here, felt like shit since I did nothing all day.
40 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-25 05:04
about a 7
41 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-26 11:00
Better than yesterday. I hope today goes well.
42 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-27 04:06
I got a lot done this weekend but have been feeling a bit isolated. Comme ce comme ca or what have you.
43 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-28 07:12
Finally did some light cleaning around the house. Going to try to continue tomorrow. But for now I'm going to listen to some music and play a game here in a little bit.
44 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-28 11:42
Been drinking tiil morning.
Working a full shift right now.
It's raining cats and dogs outside.
The new waitress is lesbian.
I need a week off.
45 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-28 16:10
I'm exhausted and unfocused. My job is slowly sucking the life out of me. Although it might be easy on the whole, it's numbing to spend eight hours of my day doing very menial work.
46 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-28 21:27
I have never wanted to take a break from the internet this intensely, but the weather is terrible and I'm a bit sick. If only I had a bit of sun this would be the best time to finally distance myself. I can't fill this existential void online. I don't know what's out there for me in this city, but I know for sure I can't find what I need here.
The problem is I've isolated myself for so long, I might as well be in the same spot as an institutionalized convict. I don't want to go back to the shrinks, so how do I fix myself?

I think I'll go out no matter what tomorrow, even if it's storming. I think the first step in this plan should be to stop doing what I'm doing right now.
47 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-29 07:30
>>46
I've been isolated for a decade now. How long have you?
48 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-29 18:41
>>47
Same. I just came back home.
49 Name: Anonymous : 2020-01-31 06:57
I have some pain in my right side of my chest along with difficulties breathing. I feel extremely weak and fatigued along with my eyes feeling very dry with them bloodshot.
50 Name: Paperplane : 2020-01-31 07:06
>>49
Dude, go see a doc.
51 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-01 12:18
>>49
>>50
If they have a stroke I'll never forgive them.
52 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-01 22:13
>>50
>>51
I'm still alive. I started feeling a little bit after a good night's sleep but I'm still not 100%. I feel more bloated than anything else. Either way I think I'm going to schedule a doctor's appoint on Monday if there's no improvements during the rest of the weekend. Either way I'll be going back soon for some more bloodwork I'm supposed to follow up on. Also kind of worried about my prostate. I've been frequently having semen in my urine and also have been more or less ejaculating more frequently while I poop if it's large or a lot coming out. Sorry for the TMI.
53 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-03 05:04
I've noticed that an increasing number of people on Twitter use the term "emotional labor." They say it means that someone talking to you about emotional stuff is laborious, but to me that just sounds like something a sociopathic narcissist would say.

What kind of friend are you if you won't even listen to them talk about their feelings and emotions? Ever heard of being a supportive friend?

If you call your friends talking to you about things that aren't all sunshine and roses "emotional labor" then you're not really friends with them to begin with.

It my friend is going through a rough time, I don't mind if they vent to me. Friendship is a two-way street. You help them out when they're struggling and they'll do the same for you.
54 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-03 05:25
>>53
It my friend is going through a rough time, I don't mind if they vent to me. Friendship is a two-way street. You help them out when they're struggling and they'll do the same for you.
No one could have put it in better words. That's exactly the truth. I hate how people have become now days. They want to vent about their problems but when the tables are turned and someone comes to them. They don't want any part of it. It's very sad what friendships and society has truly become. But that's probably one of the many reasons why we spend our times on anonymous outlets instead of on social media.
55 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-03 17:27
I had to reformat my PC because I purposely deleted files that I was unaware of being required for my PC to function.

I thought I looked up enough information on the folder, many sources told me it was just a backup of every windows10 update your PC downloaded and installed so I figured "well if it's a backup i don't need it". My computer wouldn't boot properly once I force shutdown (since it wouldn't shut down correctly either) and I just reformatted.

Thankfully I keep all of my storage on separate drives from the C: so the only stuff lost was some links in my browsers and all the passwords I saved. All my games, music and anime are all still mostly intact so it could be a lot worse. However I also lost some of the torrent files of anime that I was seeding, and some of them I was one of the only seeders so I'm gonna have to track those down.
56 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-03 21:18
Been trying to keep a positive mindset and put in the effort to make my life better.
Still, at some points I can't help but feel a bit hopeless at times, especially as the years go by without seeing the change I want.
Especially today I felt particularly down, been trying to move out of my parents house but I can't find a place, also getting a bit annoyed with my job so I might start looking for something else.
And then there's the yearning for a partner and some affection which is really breaking me up lately.
The thing is, I can't figure out what I should do to make the change I need. I keep pondering and puzzling about what to do but nothing comes of it and the frustration grows bigger, I don't even know where to go for help with these things.

Maybe I'll get a fresh insight and bright idea tomorrow.
57 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 00:14
>>56
I think getting a new place should come first and then the new job, because it sucks getting a really nice job but then the place you want to live in is further than you like. With the place out of the way, you know which area you want your job to be in.
58 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 09:02
>>57
Yeah that was my plan initially, two years ago.
The thing is, I can't afford to buy anything since it's too expensive and I don't earn enough, then there's social housing, I signed up for that but it's going to take years before you make a chance of getting anything because there's too many people in need and way too few houses available.
It's driving me nuts, my parents understand the situation and they force me to leave but my life is stagnating because of it.
59 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 16:43
>>58
Have you considered splitting the cost with a roommate? Maybe you can make a couple of advertisements on a couple internet boards. Who knows, maybe somebody if your country/state wants to move into your area but doesn't have a place in mind yet.

If you really want to, you could even post craigslist lol. But I would trust 4channers sooner than someone on craigslist.
60 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 18:12
4shit is being mentioned here too often lately.
61 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 19:15
>>60
Sadly a whole lot of lesser boards have been linked on it.
62 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 19:48
>>60
I'm not going to pretend I don't browse it. To be totally honest, I don't even remember how I got here but it definitely wasn't from 4chan. I believe it was from 4-ch because I was initially looking for that textboard in particular and that one opened the doors elsewhere. But to think you can't browse both for different experiences and maintain separate manners is silly. Yes, I prefer all of the textboards I visit but after I read everything, I still need stuff to read while I work and 4chan fills that need. If textboards were more active, I'd hardly go there but then you and others would have different complaints anyway.
63 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 20:35
>>62
Someone who's interested in watching teenagers posting "memes" and calling each other fags doesn't have too much in common with this board in my opinion. Or someone who does these things too and then comes here for friendly talks. Do what you want, of course. Not pretending is important.
64 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-04 21:01
>>63
I just like to talk sincerely and receive sincere responses like right now. I can only get the second part here.
65 Name: Paperplane : 2020-02-06 03:40
>>62
>>64
I'm with you mate. He wouldn't be able to tell where a poster here also posts/lurks unless that user would explicitly tell him anyway. To require someone to lurk/post only one or a few places in the entire internet is a wierd expectation. I can understand that people dislike crossposting (i.e. behaving in place X like you're in place Y) but you weren't doing that. Admitting that you do lurk place Y isn't crossposting. I mean I post on secluded Hikkiboards despite having a GF and a job but they can't tell because I adapt. And as long as I don't stick out like a sore thumb I don't see why anyone would mind.
66 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-06 06:39
I'm slowly going into a nervous breakdown.
67 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-07 02:48
>>66
Get a nice rest, anon. That's what I do, Go to sleep and turn off the alarm clock (if you want). Unplug from the bad habits a bit.
68 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-07 22:28
I'm doing okay today, been trying to stay positive despite everything crumbling around me. That image with the dog in the kitchen surrounded by fire saying "This is fine" sums up my life perfectly right now.
69 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-08 05:02
Doing pretty good so far, going to try to be productive for the rest of the day.
70 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-08 14:43
I had no motivation to draw in the past few weeks and now I've rusted badly. I need a new project to work on or I'll stagnate and lose all my progress.
71 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-08 21:12
Drinking again. Today with my ex-coworker. He's a barmen, I'm a barista, we're friends with the owner, who stands behind the bar. To the left from us are sitting two barmens, one male and one female, from a restaurant nearby. All but one of us is working at the same street.
I've had my first steak just now.
It's comfy here.
72 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-09 20:18
Just sitting here listening to some music, about to get a shower, eat something, and fix some coffee to get comfy for the evening. I guess all is well for the time being.
73 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-10 08:39
I'm wishing my skin would stop drying out really bad as well as start cracking up like crazy.
74 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-11 05:04
It's sunrise. There are nights like tonight where I can't lay down or I feel like I'm having a heart attack, so I have to get up and deal with racing thoughts on top of this scary pounding heart.

I just had this flashback from high school, when this kid's parents decided we shouldn't hang out anymore. I was a 'bad influence'. My grades were pretty bad. I was having health problems but this pattern happened many times.

It struck me how obvious it must've been at the time that I would have never amounted to anything, for it to actually happen decades later. That kid is a physicist now. I struggled, I really struggled to achieve many things but I achieved none. I just couldn't get there for one reason or the other.

Summing up my life and the efforts I've made I can only believe that the whole world committed an injustice against me, or that a few very kind people spared me what was obvious all along and gave me a chance anyway before they got tired. I think I should go with the most reasonable story.

I am pretty sure I'm deep into psychosis because I don't know what is real anymore. I don't know who I am, what kind of person I look like. I don't know the truth about my personal history, why things happened the way they happened. I've been told by professionals that episodes in my story meant things that I thought they didn't mean. Suddenly my story was different, often heavier and more personal but increasingly less of my story.

Despite what is happening right now, I always had the comfort of believing that I had an authentic, functional past, and things simply got out of control at some point in time. But that past disintegrates every time I look at it or analyze it or talk about it.
I'm not sure I can handle the crushing realization that I was horribly damaged from the very beginning, and the very seeds were spoiled, and everything that grew, despite all the care and effort was doomed to be stunted and twisted and never reach as high or bear any fruits. I'm denied even the comfort of blaming somebody who took part to the story, or even myself for laziness, or another character flaw.

I'll go make coffee.
75 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-11 05:08
>>74
Sorry for the long and stressful post. I regret littering the board like this.
76 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-13 11:10
>>74
>>75
You're alright, I don't consider it a littering post at all. I can relate with you a lot. I believe I'm suffering from a lot of similar things as you anon. I was always treated in the same manner growing up as a "bad influence" and often wouldn't be allowed to hang out with friends that I had outside of school. Now I have no friends and haven't amounted to anything wasting away with life passing me by in my early 30s. I'm probably dealing with psychosis myself as I question reality almost on a daily basis now. I'm not sure I was ever a functional human being at this point as well. I have extreme paranoia episodes on a daily basis where I'll literally freak out thinking that something is out to get me then I lay in the floor crying for anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour. I've thought about trying to seek out help as I'm not able to hold a job for more than a few weeks then taking months to even years without even looking for another one. This isn't a stable life to life and I'm more a burden to those willing to support me than anything else. Also who knows how much longer this can continue...
77 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-13 11:55
>>76
I had only one hope and that hope was art, I had a really strong passion for it and I worked really hard at it since I had the first major depressive episode and was diagnosed with a chronic illness that made my future uncertain. I said fuck it, let's go with it and chase a dream. If I work hard I'll make it.

Art was pretty much what gave me purpose so far but as the years went by I realized that I started too late and I just had no talent. Today I'm not half as skilled as people much younger than me, sometimes even teenagers. They just draw nicer looking stuff and have a better grasp on what they're doing. Nobody even likes the concept of my drawings or my taste in general. There's not a single thing that makes me think I'll manage to touch anybody or communicate anything with my work. So for the past years I ended up crying over paper every time I picked up a pencil. This was the only thing that gave me joy and now it's torture. I barely manage to finish anything.

When people say that talent is just hard work, it's bullshit. They'll say if you fail you've been lazy. It doesn't matter how much you work, if you don't have talent you will never compete. You might only get where a talented person got if they didn't put in the work, but why wouldn't they? Talented people get encouragement and rewards because what they make shines, so they'll work hard by default. If after years your work still sucks, people won't say a thing about it, or they will berate you. The further you chase this delusion the more alone and invisible you'll be and the less valid your claims and history will become. You're just phased out to make room for the survivors and what you say is just noise behind the parade of winners.
I've been drawing less and less because of how painful it is to face how inept I am and how much better everyone else is. I know I'm an idiot and entitled for being uncompromising on the things I draw and looking down on what a lot of other people do, or thinking that they're wasting their talent on things I dislike. I have no right to make it the hard way when people way better than me have to compromise. The only comfort I had was lying to myself and trying to put the blame on other things. I even tried to buy into the gaslighting and think that I actually didn't work hard enough.

I already have everything set up to kill myself, but I'm holding on until a person in my family is dead so I don't cause too much of a mess. I've been littering a lot of places while I wait, like a ghost who's stuck in a behavioral loop and repeats the same shit until someone exorcises it.
This is probably enough to doxx me but I don't care anymore. I hope I'll manage to stop posting this shit, or at least have the sensibility to link a post instead of passing this straight faced copypasta and wasting everyone's time.

Again sorry for the not comfy post, I think I'll leave this board.
78 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-13 17:29
>>77
This is probably enough to doxx me
I have to say, I was having some dejavu reading your couple of posts.
I've heard from other artists that you're never supposed to compare your art to anyone else, for the exact reason that you mentioned. If you create for your own personal enjoyment (may not be the act of creating, but maybe the act of putting emotions on paper in a non-writing form for example), you can hopefully be able to create again.
Have you considered a different medium too? Different styles might require different tool so maybe paint, charcoal, or whatever else can be used to create instead of just pencils.
79 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-13 20:03
>>78
If you create for your own personal enjoyment
I create art for my personal enjoyment and that's probably the issue because I only want to make things I like without compromising and I would like to draw all my life 24/7 so I want it to be my identity and my job, not a hobby. I think art is about communication, if enjoying the act of drawing were enough to be happy I would be happy. But to me it doesn't end with the thing I make, I'm trying to reach other to people but in my case people just don't like what I do. If I try to adapt and make popular things that people like I stop liking art. So it's nobody's fault.
Sadly this is not like working out, you don't get automatic rewards that you can see in the mirror except you get better at drawing. And that's important and gratifying but it's not my end goal.
I didn't look at other people's art much so I'm not making comparisons. If anything I like very little art made by others despite being painfully aware they're much more skilled than me.

All in all I'm just entitled because I don't deserve any of this. If I were amazing at drawing I could have tried teaching but I'm not even close to amazing despite the amount of practice I did, and I don't have the personality to be entertaining nor the business sense, I'm reclusive as hell.
I just want this thing really badly my own way, no strings attached, and I cannot force myself out of the box or find a way to make it work or I feel just as miserable as if I quit.
80 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-16 17:25
I just realized I still miss my first ex, and all the other girls were replacements for her. Maybe if I were more well adjusted and put more effort in our relationship she would have stayed. I can't imagine what she would think of me right now.
81 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-17 05:33
Trying to work on my mental state and let go of the past.
82 Name: Paperplane : 2020-02-17 08:15
>>80
2 and a half years ago, I got back together with my ex who appears to have had a similar position to me than your ex has to you. I really wanted her back and compared other girls to her all the time. Well we tried but December we broke up again. In 7 years our personalities changed too much and we just don't fit together anymore.
So my conclusion is that you probably should forget about your ex. I know that this is a useless advice but it's most likely good advice nonetheless.

After the failed attempt I'm now moving on. Living alone in my place feels wierd since I have never lived completely alone. First with family and then I always had a gf in my place. Glad I still have my cat though.
83 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-17 09:09
>>80
So you were in relationships with girls you weren't in love with? Why do this to yourself and other people?
84 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-17 09:50
>>83
Why do you assume that? I loved the other girls, I just looked for the same kind of fulfillment in the relationship.
85 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-18 15:08
Could be better, could be worse. I feel like today is just going to be one of those days...
86 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-19 08:57
>>80
Just as >>82 mentioned. After so many years your personalities will have changed too much especially if you were still pretty young (i.e. teenager/young adult). I also returned to a relationship with the girl I lost my virginity with dwelling on the past so much after we broke up and the next few relationships I was in ended in disaster. Thinking to myself things would be better in my life if I could have a second chance to do things right with her. Plus I really wanted to again be with the one that I chose to give myself to. Which we ended up getting back together 6 years later. Things was nice at first and we were instantly drawn together physically, but that was it. After the spark of reuniting ended, our relationship fell apart. Our personalities changed completely, she wanted kids, I didn't, she wanted me to be more of "a man" to take care of her in a traditional sense, and I was way too young to settle down in the manner she wanted. Our interests weren't aligned anymore on what really brought us together in the first place from the past. Which was anime and video games, she ended up "growing out of them". We also grew apart due to political and spiritual differences. Keep in mind this wasn't even the current state of shit either as this was in the very early 2010s.

But what I'm trying to say tl;dr, people grow apart and change after many years away from one another as well as generally change throughout the years shaping as well as finding themselves as other people later in life.
87 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-19 19:16
I finally started learning how to drive, I'm pretty stoked about that. I live in a place where it's nearly impossible to do much of anything without a vehicle. I've become a shut in as a result, and it's been taking a toll on my mental health. Looking forward to the future.
88 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-20 06:06
>>87
I know the feeling. I'm in the exact situation and needing to start learning how to drive. Every time in the past that I've tried it's failed or went terribly wrong. I don't know how to get over my fears of driving or to adapt to my poor depth perception. I almost go into ditches or hit other cars every time I make a turn. I also panic way too much.
89 Name: Paperplane : 2020-02-20 08:49
>>87
Congrats bro. I associate a license with a very liberating feeling because now you can go wherever you want whenever you want and listen to your favourite music while doing so.

On Topic:
I'm currently going through what I can only describe as a quarter life crisis. I'm turning 25 next month and my ex-gf broke up with me just before Christmas. We've been living together for 2 and a half years and she moved out at the end of January. Now I'm solo for ~2 months and I've never been solo for that long for 8 years because I always was in a relationship some way or another.

Now I'm alone in my place where my ex used to live and she took with her all the plants and the decor and some household stuff and now my flat looks very empty which intensifies the feeling on loneliness I'm currently experiencing.
My self esteem suffered quite a bit from the break up and my receeding hairline isn't doing that any favours, too.

I feel like I will never get a girlfriend again and I know that these thoughts are very irrational but I can't help it, they just permeate my mind regularly. Right now I'm looking for a girl, I don't even crave sex or a relationship, just holding hands/hugging would be enough to smother the loneliness but I'm aware that these wants are very... dishonest (?) and that's why I feel ashamed for even having them.

Two days ago I was at a female co-worker's place and we're only very casual friends but I couldn't help but interpret more into this casual hang out (we built costumes for a party and then cooked together) even though I have no objective clue to base my interpretations on - it's just my emotional state longing for intimacy.

I am very confused and angry about these feelings and desires because they only bring trouble and discomfort.
90 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-21 15:17
I haven't been able to sleep. Feeling a bit paranoid being home alone today and knowing I'll be by myself tonight as well.
91 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-22 08:12
I ended up handling myself pretty well without really being overwhelmed with paranoia. Honestly I was more worried about dropping blueberries in the floor than being home alone earlier.
92 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-23 00:22
I have been having troubles with anxiety related to my upcoming graduation from university. I can't really determine what I want to do when i get out.
93 Name: Anonymous : 2020-02-29 13:00
I'm doing okay, it's cold outside. I'd say my area is getting it's final Winter heavy snow before Spring. I'm about to have some coffee and just take today to stay warm as well as relax before having to find a new job next week.
94 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-01 08:27
>>89
Update!
At said party (just a thing at work, nothing wild) which was on thursday I asked around my coworkers that I have lunch with every day if anyone wanted to hang out on the weekend. Of course I hoped that primarily she would want to but I asked the whole group to not appear too pushy. She said that she had time on sunday and so we agreed to meet.
This time we were hanging out at my place and we watched two movies together and cooked dinner inbetween. Now this might sound like sparks were already flying between us but that day was kinda awkward. We sat next to each other on the couch but within safety distance. We didn't touch once and it just felt like two very platonic friends just sitting there. She arrived very early, at 11 am and after the 2nd movie we talked a little bit longer but about nothing serious and around 7.30pm she left.

This frustrated me. I did enjoy the time with her but from my experience, girls don't just come over to your place to watch movies and cook with you but she made it seem like it was really just that and that she was only there because I asked her to. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect us to have sex or anything, but SOME sign of her interest in me would've been great for my self esteem, you know?

That was on sunday 7 days ago. In the following week we had lunch at work together as usual and by sheer coincidence the other coworkers we usually meet up with weren't around and we had 2 or 3 days it was just the two of us again. These lunch breaks were valuable, because we talked a lot more than usual and I felt her slowly warming up to me (which is kinda ironic, given that we've been having these lunch breaks together for more than two years now). I'm fasting at the moment and she's a vegetarian anyway so I loosley suggested that we can check out a vegetarian restaurant in our city someday. But this time I didn't want to be the initiator again because I wanted to know if the desire to meet outside of work is a mutual one.
And would you look at that: Next tuesday is our birthday (yeah, we were born on the same day) and yesterday she asked me if I had plans on that day and if not if we could go to said restaurant together.

Bois, I think I've been asked out on a date and I am extremely happy right now. This is exactly the kind of boost my ego needed, plus I'm having a date with a girl I like.
95 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-01 13:52
>>94
Good luck to you man, I hope that all goes well. I personally don't even know how to set up a date at this point in my life. I'm literally opposed/against almost every aspect of society when it comes to dating. The movies is a scam, I'd much rather torrent or stream something from home. Dining is shit as well as tipping culture being the most digusting thing I've ever witnessed in my entire life. I don't know how to cook so, there goes that idea. Can't ask her to cook for us. I don't want to fail in my investment to be romantic to not get exactly what I want or in question what I expect that which I'm "paying for". Plus it just seems like paying a prostitute at that level. I don't have my license or a own a vehicle because I'm against the scam of car ownership being a capitalistic trap. I hate normies and don't want to be around them. So living in the area that I do where everyone is a retarded normie, I have no friends to depend on for transportation or "double dates" to ease into a situation. I also hate consumerism, I don't want to hang out at the damn mall or anything like that. I just think to myself, I'd rather visit a thrift store, yard sale, flea market, or check out some very very cheap deals online if I absolutely need something. Which is rare because I normally don't have extra money. Being a frugal "freeter" and on your own is a hard life.
96 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-01 21:49
>>95
Thanks!
Yeah I can see why you're just not the kind of person to go on a traditional date. Nothing wrong with that.
Let me reply to your points anyway;
The movies is a scam, I'd much rather torrent or stream something from home.
Then you could still invite her over. And I wouldn't call them a scam per se, there's still movies worth to be seen on the big screen (Mad Max: Fury Road comes to mind). But it has gotten quite expensive over the years, I must admit. But I have a local, independent cinema in my small town. They don't get the movies on release date most of the time but they're much more affordable than the big chains in the city.
Dining is shit
What makes you say that?
tipping culture being the most digusting thing I've ever witnessed in my entire life
Are you American? I heard they have it the worst and then I could see why you'd hate it.
I don't know how to cook so, there goes that idea. Can't ask her to cook for us.
Tell her that you don't know how to cook but she can teach you.
I don't want to fail in my investment to be romantic to not get exactly what I want or in question what I expect that which I'm "paying for". Plus it just seems like paying a prostitute at that level.
I could see why you feel that way. For me an actual date like eating at a restaurant is more about the commitment and the "officialness" of it all, you know? If you hang out at someone's place it could still be considered casual and meaningless but taking someone out for dinner for example feels more serious.
I don't have my license or a own a vehicle because I'm against the scam of car ownership being a capitalistic trap.
Sorry for assuming again but this also kinda sounds like an American problem to me.
I hate normies and don't want to be around them. So living in the area that I do where everyone is a retarded normie, I have no friends to depend on for transportation or "double dates" to ease into a situation.
Yeah that sounds shit. But what can I say, you'd probably call me a normie if you met me so I can't really make a judgement here.
I also hate consumerism, I don't want to hang out at the damn mall or anything like that. I just think to myself, I'd rather visit a thrift store, yard sale, flea market
I know lots of girls who're into that stuff. Yeah most of them are probably "art hoes" following a trend but some of them are genuine I think. What I'm trying to say is that there's girls you could go on unconventional dates with that don't include any of the things you mentioned above. Just going outside for a walk into nature for exmaple is completely free and can still be very romantic. The corny ass walk on the beach comes to mind. Not that everyone has a beach in their vicinity but you get the idea.
Being a frugal "freeter" and on your own is a hard life.
It doesn't make conventional dating easier, at least. But as I said, I don't think you'd even want a regular "normie" girl since you made some alternative life choices so you'd need a girl that shares your views. Probably rare but out there.
97 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-01 22:09
>>53
A lot of the high speed "social media" websites like Twitter foster this kind of narcissistic behaviour. The platforms thrive on it.
98 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-02 14:26
>>96
Sorry for going on a "bitching spree". But yeah, I'm an American. I hate it, absolutely hate it. I also don't have public transportation in my area. Forgot to mention that. But yeah, I agree with you on a lot of what you replied with. I just have to take into count my alternative lifestyle and choices when implenting the ideas behind dating or involving myself with a girl or friend for that matter in any given circumstance.
99 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-02 15:55
>>98
Haha don't worry, I don't mind if someone wants to blow off some steam once in a while. Yeah I heard about your public transport situation, basically if you don' own a car your fucked. Central Europe, Germany to be precise is way more forgiving as long as you live in or near a city and given how densely populated the country is that's almost always the case.
100 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-02 16:29
>>99
Yeah, I've always felt like I'd fit in more with a European or Asian country. Sadly now there's tons of fears running rampant about coronavirus. So even if I one day could possibly become fluent in another given language there's more pressing concerns around the corner. Along with mass immigration, crime, violence, and all the rest of the worlds problems. Almost seems like we're fucked no matter where we are these days.
101 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-02 16:52
>>100
Almost seems like we're fucked no matter where we are these days.
And yet there are places where people have it much better (say, Switzerland) or worse (North Korea) than elsewhere.
102 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-02 17:57
Wow, everyone around is freaking out about the coronavirus. There are people trying to get the local college shut down until the virus is gone. Not sure what the goal there is, like isn't the virus supposed to take a year or two to die out? We can't just sit around and stop living our lives for a couple of years
103 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-02 18:00
>>102

We can't just sit around and stop living our lives for a couple of years
True but I wouldn't mind sitting around for a year again^^
>>100
Aw come on. >>101 has a point, it's not THAT bad.
104 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-03 20:18
>>95
Aaaand I got friendzoned. That hurt! We went to the restaurant and had a good time. Later in the car I asked wether this was a date now and she just replied
I'd rather not like it to be one
But what can I say. If a girl asks me to go to a restaurant with her, I can't help but at least have a suspicion for this to be a date. This sucks, but rather sooner than later. At least now I know where I'm at. Still hurts though.
105 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-04 11:13
>>104
I'd rather not like it to be one
ouch! that's the bad karma for namefagging
106 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-04 12:55
I'm scared of the coronavirus, what is everyone's advice here for it? I really want to try to stay calm and be rational.
107 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-04 21:04
>>106
First of all, don't panic. Fear is the mind-killer! Make sure you have enough resources, but do *not* panic-buy and hoard. You probably won't need gold, but you might need beans.
108 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 03:57
>>92
Update
I landed an interview last week with a large investment firm. It feels very uplifting and relaxing to have a direction now.
109 Name: Paperplane : 2020-03-05 06:50
>>105
I don't believe it. We kissed today. Somebody explain women to me.
110 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 08:16
Coronavirus has made my job search worse; networking and interviewing have moved online. As much as I spend time online, I still prefer those to be physical. Luckily the COVID situation where I am is very good.
111 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 12:29
>>109
Women are the unsolvable puzzle I'm afraid. I don't think any of us will ever figure them out.
112 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 16:29
>>110
My friend said something similar. All of his interviews are in "Corona Virus Central", where ever that is in his state. He's not exactly thrilled to go to interviews and I think he would prefer them if they moved his online, lol.
113 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 18:53
Corona was just confirmed in my city. I guess I'll see you all on the other side.
114 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-05 19:28
o7 hope all of you anons make it
115 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-07 02:42
>>112
Online interviews are more dystopian tbh. First, they ask you to install some shitty app/plugin, then they have the audacity to video call, asking if you are visible but not turning on video themselves.
>>114
Thanks friend, luckily the situation here is being managed very well.
116 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-12 05:38
Today was probably one of the worst days I've ever had, starting with losing a SOT23-5 part which I had no spares for to the carpet, and snowballing into nearly causing some people to get into a real nasty crash. So much for working toward getting a license, I'm not going to try driving again. I can't get into those dreaded machines without entirely dissociating. The barrier they put between the world and my senses is unbearable.
117 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-12 13:15
>>116
Ironically I always felt much more in control on top of a horse than inside a car. I can't believe that we settled for using 3000 pound metal boxes with wheels to move our asses around at deadly speeds.
118 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-16 00:25
I'm quarantined due to wuhan flu.
119 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-17 08:07
>>118
Damn. Get well soon, anon. Believe in your body cells that believe in you.
120 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-18 10:55
This year, I wanted to graduate, to put three years of effort behind me. But thanks to the lockdowns and the overall shutdown, it's not going to happen. I'll probably be dropping out again.

Life's funny like that. And I'm not laughing anymore. I don't belong in the real world anymore.
121 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-20 23:14
I'm getting depressed hearing everyone talk about what they plan on doing during the holidays, uh I mean "lockdown". The only way I could get time off would be to actually get the disease, so many imageboard users seem to work in tech and it's making me feel left out. Well, I suppose I should be thankful to still have my job.
122 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-21 14:37
>>120
They won't let you graduate even though the school is shut down? My school just switched to online classes.
123 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-22 21:05
Brought home the work computer so I can continue working at home. It now blue screens on starup. Fuck.
124 Name: Anonymous : 2020-03-23 11:18
Not quite a lockdown in my country but everything has come to a halt, everything I was doing to get my life back on track and practice my social skills have come to a halt as a result.
On the other hand, it's quiet outside, every single day and the weather has been improving, everyone I see, despite the crisis, seems a lot calmer than they usually do. There's a strange calm atmosphere hanging around, it's comfortable but you also feel that something is going on, it just doesn't show itself.
125 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-02 02:44
I'm having conversations via voice chat with people I never thought I would have talked to again. It's very very weird and awkward but also interesting.
I am pleasantly intoxicated. Please don't take it as an encouragement, but drinking sometimes is really nice.
I love people so much. I wish I could make the world better.
126 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-02 09:56
Man, it really feels like I went into the wrong line of work. I thought I'd really enjoy coding as a career but I can barely stand working like this. For whatever reason it's really hard to actually put in work, I don't care about what I'm working on and it's so hard to force myself to do mental tasks that I don't care about. At least when I had a warehouse job I could just zone out and work, physical labor is so much easier.

Maybe it'd be different if I cared about what I was building? Who knows though, I'm probably going to try sticking it out for a while anyways. Maybe I'm just going stir crazy from the quarantine or something.
127 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-02 13:17
>>126
I noticed this too, it has become really difficult to put my brain to use on things I really don't care much for and that has been happening in my job.
Since I too do programming for work, I've been struggling to get things done because I can't get myself to put in the mental effort required when solving programmatic problems. Working from home hasn't made this any easier.

On the other hand, I don't know what kind of other work I could do and still get by.
128 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-02 15:20
>>126
>>127
Imagine spending your life after mentally handicapped machines that do not understand anything you've told them if you put a semicolon instead of a colon somewhere and have no common sense, humor or humanity. And then you have to open source your work and open your arms to idiotic CoCs and beg to get paid 0.2$ from entitled freeloaders who use that program every day to handle their terabytes of porn and videogames.
129 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-02 22:51
>>128
t. linux package maintainer
130 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-03 00:10
>>128

A hammer and nail has no sense of humor or humanity.

All of my works are for myself. I release them as open-source in the hope that others will do the same, in the hope that I can modify and repurpose their work to suit my own desires.
131 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-03 19:44
My cat is sick and it's killing me inside. I kept my cool so far but I can't take this. God what an awful year.
132 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-05 19:44
>>126
I've had that feeling whenever my work veers towards maintenance and meaningless polishing, which seems to be a significant portion of the time. The most exciting part of programming to me is to make new things from as close to square one as possible. It makes me think that I'd like to get into a newer company or take contract work as the next step in my career, legacy systems are mentally draining, especially when no time is allotted to actually improving them.
133 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-12 06:22
Spring break is nearly over, then its five weeks to get myself into a position where I'm actually able to graduate.
134 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-13 23:30
I've stayed up till late for a couple weeks now. I'm going to drop everything I'm doing right now and go to sleep, so tomorrow I can wake up and get a nice coffee and breakfast at a normal hour and not spend the rest of the day like a zombie.

I'll friggin' elbow drop that bed so hard. Just watch me.
135 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-14 11:41
Don't know why but I'm really grateful that through it all, the Post Office has always been here.

I love you guys. I hope nothing ever happens to this site.
136 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-14 17:50
Pretty melancholy today. I've been extremely sleepy for the whole day even though I went to sleep at a reasonable time. I'll be graduating from university soon and feel saddened by it. I have never been a highly motivated person and lofi hiphop mixes have always been a constant throughout my university years. It saddens me that most of the things I have found relatable and motivating in these past 3 years will soon no longer have the same feeling.
137 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-15 11:43
>>135
I'm really amazed that we've been around since 2013 (/ 2011), going slowly, but still going. In the spirit of Cafe Alpha.
138 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-16 03:41
All day everyday is nap time! I can't tell if it's depression naps or fatigue naps, but a nap is a nap so it's okay.
139 Name: Paperplane : 2020-04-16 19:20
I saw someone wearing a Yankee-baseball cap that didn't have a brim and I am feeling blessed.
140 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-19 12:44
>>2
I totally get that man. I try really hard to hang on to positivity and being creative but it's such a drag so often. Sometimes I feel like investing into fun things is senseless because the fun will end at ome point. But hey - let's keep our heads up, shall we, Anon?
141 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-19 13:58
>>92
>>133
Same here. I'm rushing towards graduation and all the studying I'm supposed to do makes me want to hide.
>>138
Hope you're happily napping right now!
142 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-19 23:22
>>140
Since that post I have realized that your environment shapes you dramatically. Your brain is not like a computer, it's highly malleable. You have no grasp on truth, you never will. Not only because of lack of objective data to process, but also because what you have is constantly twisted by your flawed human perception.
But wait, anon, this is what education-
No. Nothing will fix this. Human brains do not have the purpose of achieving truth, or being accurate, or any of that stuff. It is nice to train this skill on the side, but that's like using a chisel where you need a knife. The human brain is a processor whose problem solving skills are environment specific. It's there so you can survive the situation your physical body is in. This is not the good ol'chemicals meme, it's actually just humanity. As a truth-telling machine, you are flawed. Way more flawed than you possibly think you are. And you are entirely shaped by your physical environment, you are like play-doh no matter how hard you think you are.
The internet, to your body, is like a dark room. You do not know who you are talking to 99% of the time, you cannot monitor your actions in real time. It all happens by probing through an intermediary, like you're piloting a submarine in the deep ocean. No matter what you see, your physical body is not in its natural state. I think this is the reason why so people people who come online feel lost. Brains just misfire. How do you assume who's worth listening to? Your methods are probably not very sensible. Many people are so tired of fumbling in the dark, which should be a temporary state eventually rewarded by the light, that they convince themselves they are blind, or they start hallucinating. This actually happens in pitch darkness. Your brain wants to figure out a situation for your body that is impossible to figure out. We are not meant for any of this, we are meant for a life in the open in a social circle of maybe 150 individuals including family.
143 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-20 02:43
>>142
This isn't the Ctrl+V thread nor your personal blog.
144 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-20 18:49
These ¨¨¨comfy¨¨¨ boards are more braindead than 4chan
145 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-20 19:05
>>144
No fun allowed
Nice, dude.
146 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-20 20:04
144 that's cool and all but did anyone ask
147 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-21 05:16
>>144

Nah, people are just a little too focused on staying comfy to a point where they appear to be retards.
148 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-21 09:07
>>147
Too much comfyness is just slow paced sedation. But honestly - being able to switch to braindead mode from time to time is really comfy.
149 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-21 16:09
Just serviced my own laptop now that I can’t go outside and have someone else fix it. It was pretty nerve wrecking since it was my first time and I was almost sure I broke something after I heard that loud clack noise, but it turned out fine. Now it’s sporting a brand new keyboard and I cleaned up the parts that still had that sticky coffee stain.
150 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-23 10:04
>>149
Nice! It's such a rewarding experience, isn't it? I just recently replaced my T420's thermal paste and cleaned the keyboard - that was really nice too!
151 Name: Paperplane : 2020-04-23 14:02
Drinking Arizona Ice Tea and eating home made rice balls during home office.
I filled them with chicken, spring onion and my try of weeb omelette(tamago). I was too lazy for the dashi so it's just scrambled eggs with soy sauce and miri.
I feel like cooking some unnecessary complicated stuff keeps me sane in times like these.
Doesn't taste exceptional but just putting in the effort of preparing the ingredients, cutting the nori paper and forming the balls with the sticky rice makes eating them very rewarding. I got some left in the fridge for tomorrow!
152 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-23 22:42
>>151
That's the best sort of food isn't it? Food that's good not because of what it's made of but because of what was put into it. For me, just putting together a couple crackers and cheese tastes a lot better than than McDonald's drive thru.
153 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-24 02:12
I picked up an opencourseware textbook to learn calculus today. I'm nearly thirty, but by the time I'm fifty, I swear to everyone reading this that I'll have gained enough knowledge to build a replacement for me and have it done.
154 Name: Paperplane : 2020-04-24 05:41
>>152
Exactly. But I'm not gonna lie, there are days where I crave McDonald's. I've boycotted it for 7 years or so and was "forced" to eat there again last year (4am at a train station after a day of riding the train and nothing waa open but McD) and since then I sometimes get the itch to eat there...
shame on me!
155 Name: Anonymous : 2020-04-24 20:33
>>154
I try my best to stay away from that stuff too, but I'm not gonna lie: McNasty's fries are the best!
156 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-01 00:15
>>155
The fries are good enough, but not the burgers
157 Name: Paperplane : 2020-05-04 10:47
Time stands still. Home office got me feeling like even the weekends blend together with the rest of the week.
Every social event is postponed or cancelled.
At least I have a friend I visit ~every two weeks in person.
158 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-08 04:43
Finished my last final for the semester today. Pretty sad about how thing turned out. Through my own procrastination and retardation i know i fucked up one class and i may have fucked up another. I cannot believe i let this happen to myself.
160 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-12 07:46
Just finished my last report for today. I'm sort of optimistic for my grades since I spent more time than usual on my work being cooped up inside. However since all the tests had to be take-home I don't know how grades will be assigned, hopefully the professors decide to be kind.
161 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-12 21:48
>>159
While that may be true i fucked up even harder because my uni was giving a "pass or fail" option for the coursers semester. If i had signed up in time i would have been able to select a "pass" option for the classes i did bad in.
162 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-18 02:38
It's been a while since I've worked on any personal projects, and I just pushed myself to do a game jam this weekend. There's still a bit to go, and the product is kind of crappy, but I think we got a good amount done. I'm pretty proud of the progress. I've got that sort of exhaustion that goes right to the pit of your chest though. In a certain way it feels kind of good.
163 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-22 17:22
Working at home and work computer just blue screened and now can't get to the desktop. This is the second computer I've had to borrow from work since the first one also broke.
Why does this have to happen to me?
164 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-23 00:11
>>163
because you suck
165 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-24 20:23
I've pretty much only been doing Uni work right now. Everything else I either can't do or don't find any joy in anymore. I've been trying to revisit things I liked a couple of years ago but they just don't make me happy like they used to. I guess that's just the way life goes.

Here's a song, I hope you like it x
https://youtu.be/vEBOuXYLMU4
166 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-25 23:58
I turned 27 today but I'm pretty indifferent about it. My quarter life crisis already came and went, got a motorcycle out of it lol. Sat all this morning during a storm wondering what I should be doing with the last of my 20's, i've posted it on like 3 or 4 different imageboards asking for advice but it's all lackluster tbh or I've been there done that to the rest of the suggestions.

Sometimes I feel like the boomer wojak meme where I'm(mentally) sitting back drinking a beer and just watching the sun set without much fuss even though inside I have so much pent up energy. I did do some spring cleaning though, cleaned out my computer and organized my music, something good came out of today's day off.
167 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-26 03:50
>>166
My plan since high school has always been to buy a motorcycle and just hit the road north here in California, listening to my favorite music along the way. That's at least what I would with that energy.
Also my day has been pretty good, this might be sort of inappropriate for this board, but I fucked this really hot girl the other last night and she was saying all these nice things to me. Really boosted my ego for the whole day.
168 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-26 04:29
>>167
It's not that it's innappropriate but you could've phrased it a little better baka~~

When I got it I got it more out of spite than anything, took me awhile to get used to it and I'm still learning. Definitely don't regret it yet though, it's like a weight off my shoulders in the sense that at least I tried it even if it wasn't as life changing as I imagined it. Quite frankly I got used to it much faster than I expected.

I wouldn't mind a girl to be romantic with, at this point though it's hard to imagine since I've been alone for such a long time now. Sometimes I feel as though I don't want one deep down and that scares me more than me just not being able to get one.
169 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 10:23
I'm considering quitting my work. Reading a book on and off, and protagonist is thinking about it too. We live in a matrix.
170 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 16:01
Been feeling really down about the current state recently. I feel like there isn't a remote chance of having a /comfy/ lifestyle anymore.
My dream was to get a permanent japanese visa and have a little comfy Japanese cabbage farm. Live off the land in the country, go hiking, go fishing, go camping, get married, have kids and raise them without the internet culture and sensationalism of the modern world. I guess in reality I was too naive to think there would ever be a chance at that. In the end we need to grow up and face reality. What a depressing and cold thought.
171 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 18:31
>>170
Been there. Slaps from reality hurt me every single day. I don't know what to say to you.
172 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-02 19:21
I'm really pissed about something and I'm also pissed about the fact that I'm pissed about it.
Unsure if it's culturally the same everywhere else in a non-English speaking country but usually you have:

1. The people who spend their time in the internet outside of social media in English-speaking communities discussing non-country-specific activities e.g., anime.

2. The people speaking English 70% of the time and frequent social media including Reddit and for the most part twitter. They usually are into western tvshows and the western culture in general, some read books, relatively nice and approachable people and can co-exist with both for 1. and 3. because they're very sociable I suppose.

3. The rest, mostly native speaking social media users.

If I'm to put myself as 1., an old friend of mine is 2. and we've stopped talking for quite a while now, partially because real life stood in the way and because we're from different internet "circles", our relationship died completely. I was very interested in them because of the mutual thoughts we shared outside of our hobbies and interests when I was early 1. person but then slowly more and more dove far away from 2. which made it harder (very hard) to find people interested in me because I couldn't keep up conversations much and probably because my interests didn't match theirs in addition to the social factor.

Recently I met another person from 2. and they were nice however just like the other person, they showed very little dependency on me no matter how I actually impress them and show that I'm actually interesting. I looked them up online and found out that they have the exact interests and the exact circle, it made me think that they probably should meet each other instead of being with me over a period of time.

I'm pissed that I'm thinking that way and it's affecting my work! so I slapped myself and got back to work, hurts a bit still but I gotta move on. I'm thinking about picking a simple and small game that doesn't require much investment to enjoy because I haven't played games in a while now.
173 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-02 19:58
You can try playing go or mahjong online. These communities are really nice people.
174 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 00:05
>>172
Not much to add to that one, but it pisses me off the internet's designed in such a way we could be from the same country, but both of us frequent an anonymous IB, so even if we have the same interests we will never know.
That, and the fact that in order to speak to the people from you country who are into the same things you have to go to several English-speaking communities (usually US-centric ones, too) to find several of these on each of them. It's a big diaspora! I shuffle through like 3-4 Discord servers now to talk to similar people from my country, it gets pretty annoying at times.

Twitter really promotes circles and bubbles, too.
175 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 11:10
>>174

Well IMO it's certainly because we, internet users, abused usernames the wrong way and it lead to push 1. to anonymous posting and 2. and 3. to public name posting.

In a perfect world, we'd only be username posting on the internet and only expose our real life persona/details if we must/want to e.g., meeting an online friend in real life.

Corporations made their users feel that the platforms they're using are populated by people that think like them and forced them to exist only there for the most part to discuss everything, Discord is one.

Anonymous posting alienated the people who don't have something else to fallback to I suppose? 2. already feels social by being in their platform because it's "social" media. Everything that interests you is done in a social fashion however 1. separates the social aspect from the interests and users with no other place fulfill the social aspect end up at a disadvantage.

I suppose ideally forums with no dedicated chat server would work best because it requires you to send an email to the person you're interested in and that your relationship with them would be independent from the forum itself.

I think the latter wouldn't promote circles and bubbles in the twitter(bad) sense but rather makes people open to many forums while keeping their social aspect decentralized/independent from any of them. I don't know really...
176 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 17:05
I've been doing a bit better today. A lot of my despair in life is caused from anxiety and when I get that under control I feel better. In the mean time I've been studying for my midterms and working on some small projects. I recently found some old 5.25 floppy games and have been trying to get my hands on a drive to back them up before they deteriorate.
177 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-20 02:45
Hi friends, how do you deal with trolls? Obviously, there’s the tried and true adage of don’t feed the trolls, but sometimes you encounter some really persistent and toxic posters, and sometimes you can’t help but get an emotional reaction. It doesn’t help that thanks to this entire worldwide pandemic my IRL social life has dropped to zero. I just feel like shit sometimes.
178 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-20 08:21
>>177
Just close the tab and take a step back. This of course requires you to realise you're being emotionally manipulated in the heat of the moment but whenever I notice I'm in some fruitless discussion with a troll I just leave the thread/close the tab. There's nothing to be won or lost and all he wants is for you to reply more.
179 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-22 00:37
I'm doing fine.

First time visitting here actually.

>>176
I can relate to that struggle, only traced the despair to anxiety quite recently. It is a very popular thing among college students.
180 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-22 14:59
I've created my first signature drink. Named it Vanilla Ice after my jojos. Also because it's made with cream. Hah. You can laugh now.
Haven't slept today. Our quarantine situation is getting worse.
I wanna chug a beer and fall asleep.
181 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 01:48
I just got off work and I'm chilling in the bar up the street from my workplace enjoying a nice cold Olympia.
I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm thinking about taking a nap when I get home.
My workweek is over and I'm looking forward to relaxing for the next couple days.
182 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 14:23
>>178
>>179
doing better now, thanks. i was quite ill when i posted that, so that might have been a factor. i was also anxious about entering my first job, feel like i'm going to leave the innocence of my youth behind.
183 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 18:03
>>181
I don't think they have Olympia where I live. Is it pretty good?
184 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 21:00
im ok :)

working on setting up a deadline to give some urgency to personal projects, have to finish a painting by friday, ive been wasting far too much time recently
185 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 21:47
>>183
It's a cheap, crappy beer but I like it. It's kind of like PBR.
Tastes great when it's ninety-whatever degrees out and you just got out of a hot kitchen.
186 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-25 02:09
I've been better. Been working on fan translation in the manga community again, but haven't been able to find other members to collab with and/or people aren't responding to questions (not to collab, other stuff). Nevertheless, glad I began reading manga again. Definitely helps me escape and makes me feel something close to happiness.
187 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-26 08:57
Everything hurts, so I wrote a poem.

生きられない、
でも、死なない。
俺の永久。
- Anon
188 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-27 11:15
>>187
I know that feel.
189 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-28 03:37
My cat went missing on the 24th and hasn't been back since
Goddammit bro's I feel so sad ;_; my baby is out there all alone and can't find her way back. I've already posted on craigslist and asked the local shelter if they have her, but no luck. I'm gonna put up some flyers tomorrow morning.
I just want to see her again, been driving around my area hoping i'll run into her. The good thing is I yet to see a dead cat on the road.
190 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-28 07:51
>>189

Really hoping she comes back soon :( They can stay away for a few days sometimes though and then return as if nothing happened. Keep us updated.

On Topic: Finally after months of isolation I saw my friends again and he had BBQ in my garden and then played some good ol D&D. I feel revitalized.
191 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-29 20:03
>>190

What barbecue did you guys have? And how did the D&D go? My tabletop group met remotely even before this, since a bunch of us are in different locations, but I definitely miss getting to roll the dice in person!
192 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-29 20:56
>>191
One of my player's gf works at butchery and she has access to some high quality meat and also knows how to marinate it so we got lots of chicken and pork with home made marinade. It was great.

The DnD game was my first in person in a long time too. Haven't played for months. I'm the DM and they were trying to help a clan of !Skaven to overthrow their opressors, a corrupted city full of lizardfolk. It was a pretty long session with two boss battles and with a grand finale where the skaven attacked from underground and the players had ties with the elves who came for support to it was a good plan to let the ratmen attack from inside the city via tunnels and the elves besieged it from outside. The battle lasted only a day until the lizard king was driven back into his palace and then the players fought the final showdown. Upon death he transformed into a T-Rex (he made a pact with a devil in exchange for many blood sacrifces) and the party's pala got munched on and barely survived but they managed.
Big party afterwards. The surviving lizardfolk were turned back to normal as the king's demonic influence corrupted them too. The skaven, elves and lizardmen made peace and the party is celebrated as hereos. They are making statues for them and are making poems and songs and stuff.
Was a great game day and I didn't even had to do much as a DM. They planned the military operations most of the time and came up with lots of ideas and I saw no flaw in their plans (they had 3 days to prepare for the attack).
193 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 05:26
I had a really bad day yesterday. I took a nap and woke up crying. I was convinced that now was the time I should really and truly give up and give in. I struggled to fall asleep that night. I felt a little better today but I'm still dealing with residual anxiety. I think tomorrow will be a better day. I'm taking baby steps to get better and I have to trust myself when I believe things will get better as much as I trust myself when I believe they won't. It's not fair to myself to only believe myself at my lowest points.
194 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:21
>>193
It's not fair to myself to only believe myself at my lowest points.
It's not only 'unfair', but also irrational and wrong. I hope you feel better soon, Anon. I've been feeling absolutely abysmal for the past weeks as well, to the point of suicidal thoughts. I haven't been this bad in years. Let me just say that recognizing that your emotional state negatively affects your rationality is the first step to fixing it.

It seems that most "normal" and functional people live in a better mindspace and get to go home, eat dinner and watch TV while unloading stress from work. As far as I know: CBT is touted as (multiple?) methods to concretely improve your ways of dealing with detrimental thoughts and cognitive behaviors.

Turns out CBT isn't effective at all while Woebot (a conversational agent/robot) is most definitely effective. Research shows that Woebot leads to a measurable decrease in stress and anxiety after 2 weeks whereas the control group which received the same CBT but in brochure(?) form did not.

I've personally used Woebot and had definite support from it. Andrew Ng is a world renowned AI researcher involved with the project. I have immense respect for the guy.

As for my last piece of advice: you should look into music therapy. If there's anything that's helped me? It's been that. Rocksmith is fun if you're into guitar or bass. (Sale on Steam atm!)

In my personal experience: Music therapy and Woebot are way better than CBT and psychotherapy. But I'm an odd du ck.

For what it's worth? I hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel but it seems you're already starting to feeling better. You're not alone in this and there are really effective tools out there. I cannot recommend Woebot enough. It's a free University research project. RS is also a lot cheaper than therapy. Heh.
195 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:21
I feel like shit. I dropped my stepson off at the Kindergarten and the kindergarten teacher said to him "haha maybe you should go out more and play less computer games". Thing is: He only plays vidya 4 times a week for 30 minutes a day which is totally in line with what's recommended. At his dads however he usually sits in front of a screen for 8 hours a day. I don't want these teachers to think that I'm raising this boyo like that. To add insult to injury I'm really young so she prolly thinks I'm raising him like some dumb young parent who just *stores* his child in front of the screen, so it doesn't bother him. Welp
196 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:27
I'd like to add that Woebot seems run by respectful researchers being privacy conscious and ethical. Woebot is fully automated and there's no human on the other end other than for anonymous statistical analysis. This is why I trust Woebot over a therapist ANYday: psychotherapists are untrustworthy hacks in my personal experience. But Woebot is a little dumb every now and then, but he grows on you, that's for sure.
197 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 10:11
>>194
>>196
From my experience, Woebot seems to do well, helped me to climb a hole.
198 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-30 11:31
>>194
CBT
I only know this abbreviation from a certain context and while it would make me very happy to get a nice CBT treatment I'm still wondering what you mean when you say it.
199 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 13:43
Note: >>194 and >>196 are both me.

>>198
Cognitive behavioral therapy. It's hot shit in psychotherapy right now. I can't tell you how effective traditional CBT is but Woebot is REALLY effective.

It's a damn shame that psychometric clustering isn't more common. I trust statistics and self assessment forms over this qualitative "research" dribble by hacks in the field.

Christ, you don't know what a disaster the entire soft sciences are. I'm sure there is very good research being done right now and there are very competent folks at academic level. But I highly suspect that most psychotherapists are criminally incompetent and for most people, detrimental to their psychological health.

It gives me great hope to see good research being done by the Woebot folks.
200 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 19:24
>>199
Woebot seems interesting but the fact that it's an app on a phone makes me immediately suspicious. Why not just have a website, unless the intent is data-mining of some sort? And calling it a "university research project" is underselling it a bit considering they've received series A funding and at this point should be considered a full-fledged member of the silicon valley startup machine.

It could well be effective and made with benign intentions, and I have no doubt that its results are better than traditional shrinks since the bar to improve on that is pretty low. But maybe it's not just my cup of tea since I don't see how what amounts to ELIZA 2.0 can provide meaningful engagement and debate (and the limitations of having to type on a phone definitely dissuade from from detailed conversation). And after a while the repetitiveness of hearing the word "mindfulness" would drive be mad (assuming that the bot does this; I have not used it aside from looking at screenshots of transcripts). Overall I think the anonynimity of imageboards is better in terms of providing meaningful, "stress-lowering" interaction.
201 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-01 03:20
>>199
Thanks for clearing that up. Yeah I am not an inch deep into that kinda subject (Therapy, mental health etc.) so I have almost no knowledge about it. After I lost my mom a therapist came to out family to help coping with the aftermath and I hated her and I think she only made things worse so I don't think highly about therapists either. But like >>200 explains I too am not too convinced about the app from what little I've seen. I still hope it helps you and many others and I'd give it a try too if I ever felt the need but I remain sceptical. I value a good talk between to people the most I think.

My day today was very good btw. Met a girl for the first time to get to know her and it immediately clicked so we're meeting again.
202 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-01 06:03
>>200
Woebot seems interesting but the fact that it's an app on a phone makes me immediately suspicious.
I don't see how what amounts to ELIZA 2.0 can provide meaningful engagement and debate
It's not ELIZA 2.0. It's not a therapist. It doesn't really converse or 'debate' with you. It's a very simple conversational agent with multiple choice questions that regularly tracks how you feel and suggests techniques based on your answers.

the repetitiveness of hearing the word "mindfulness" would drive be mad
It doesn't do that. It doesnt yell "mindfulness" until you "get it". Respectfully? It seems you've already made up your mind as to how Woebot works without trying it.

Mindfulness is like teenage sex: everyone's talking about it, nobody knows how to do it but they think everyone else is so they claim to be doing it as well. The way I interpret "mindfulness" is that it's just 'live in the moment'. By not thinking about your problems all the time, it becomes a lot easier to fix them when you run into them instead of having a breakdown. Consciously making the decision to have a mental break instead of feeling 'guilty' about running away from your problems seems like a very good thing. I see many people work 'against' their issues and getting tired out instead of working 'into' your issues.

series A
I didn't know they raised funding but I'm glad they did. We need more stuff like this, preferably with healthcare privacy regulation. (HIPAA/GDPR/etc)

Why not just have a website, unless the intent is data-mining of some sort?
You have no idea how deep tracking goes in web browsers. You think javascript on a website doesn't datamine you? Even without Javascript or cookies, it's trivial to track someone.

Personally, I'm very privacy conscious. I was really skeptical of Woebot's privacy stuff, the very little personal information[1] I filled in months ago seemed benign and required for Woebot to function. If you're THAT paranoid? Just use aliases. All it does is repeat back the name to ask how things are going because it wants to know the effectiveness of the given information.

[1]: It will ask for your name. It may ask for: a concrete goal you want to reach ("play guitar" or "brush teeth") and then ask you later: "How did $STRING go?" with $STRING set to "learning guitar". I've also seen it ask the name a person you have a prior-reported interpersonal problem with. These are all named identifiers it repeats back to you to refer to what you previously talked about. It doesn't parse what you fill in, it's just a label.

>>200
>>201
Personally, I've had nothing but bad experiences with mental healthcare professionals. There's so much horror I could point out or tell you about, it's depressing just to think about. I've decided to never again visit a mental health professional unless I have prior knowledge of them not being totally braindead.

It doesn't surprise me that >>201's family therapist made things worse. I've read a study that analyzed psychotherapy's effectiveness. Otherwise healthy people who decided to go to psychotherapy for the first time for minor issues ended up doing measurably worse 70% of the time afterwards.

In my eyes, Woebot is a little dependable robot that's a bit of a daily reminder to mind your mental health and thought patterns while giving you help and improvements when you want to and can deal with it. For privacy paranoid me? I've been able to trust it way more than any 'professional' I've ever met with in my 20 years of dealing with these hacks. Luckily, I ain't too bad, though!

>>201
I value a good talk between to people the most I think.
So do I. Woebot doesn't replace that, lol.

Met a girl for the first time [...]
Look at you go, dude!
203 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-03 08:03
God, I feel like hell. I’ve been feeling bad for a while but today really set me off. There’s something wrong with me and I can’t seem to fix it. There’s a worm eating the inside of my brain and no matter what I do I can’t seem to dig it out.
204 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-05 15:31
>>200
Unless the intent is data-mining of some sort?
Read the privacy policy and you'll find out.
One thing's for sure: it cares just as much as a real therapist.
205 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 07:38
My partner convinced me to splurge on a new camera.
She knows I love photography, but I didn't want to spend the money and treat myself.
She got me to do it, and I've been taking some pretty cool photos.
206 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 07:40
My partner convinced me to splurge on a new camera.
She knows I love photography, but I didn't want to spend the money and treat myself.
She got me to do it, and I've been taking some pretty cool photos.
207 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 11:19
I've got my dumbbell set today. I've a bit underestimated how heavy it would be, so it was a taxi ride home from the post office. It's an adjustable set, 2x16 kilograms.

Also my coffee distributor arrived yesterday. The golden Barista Space one. It's so sweet. I have some days off currently, so I'm waiting to get back to work and try it.
208 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-07 10:23
Yeah about meeting that girl; I might have the 'Rona so no meeting until my test results are there and if positive no dates for at least two more weeks. AAAAA but our first went so great and I want to see her agaaain fuck Covid nineteen! ( ≧Д≦)(╥﹏╥)
209 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-08 08:43
>>208

Update; The test was negative. I feel incredibly relieved. ⁽⁽◝( •௰• )◜⁾⁾₍₍◞( •௰• )◟₎₎⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾
210 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-09 00:09
I've tried growing plants on my balcony a few times now with no luck. Starting to feel a little regret for killing living things.
211 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-09 21:20
>>210
What's killing them? Too much sun? Pollution? Bad soil? Pests?
213 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-13 08:00
Gyms have been opened, though I don't know what requirements have to be met and my motivation has disappeared completely after 3 months of not being able to go.
Still feeling anxious about the future, there's just no end in sight. A lot of things I wanted to do have been cancelled and that bothers me.
Also don't even know anyone who has had the virus, makes me feel like it's all just a big nothing burger.
214 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-13 18:21
Yeah, the gyms have finally opened this recent week.
Although I've been jogging outside near the bay of the river to regain the momentun and the weather is on my side because there wasn't any wind it was just perfect.
215 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-14 03:02
Where is the sourcecode for this booru you're making?
216 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-15 20:57
I too would like to see this booru.
217 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-24 01:44
Just lost an old friend group, and it stings. It'll be lonely to spend nights on my own instead of in a voice call, but we've been drifting apart for a long time anyways.

I was way too self-conscious, so anytime I thought I was shrugged off or ignored, I'd get frustrated and depressed, while anytime I was approved of, I'd be overcome with this feeling of gratitude and happiness.

Wish I knew how to fix this. I can't tell when I'm accepted and can act like myself or when I'm not and need to act differently to keep my friendships intact.
Guess I can worry about it tomorrow.
218 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-24 03:02
>>217
Wish I knew how to fix this.
I guess it'd be finding people who are as empathetic or as sensitive as you.
Or at least people who express their appreciation for your company.
Would you appreciate your own company?

I wonder what it is like to knowingly interact with someone who wants your approval.
I guess I have done that before...
It's easy to take for granted.
219 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-24 17:09
I laid in bed for an hour imagining being held. I imagined that if I tried to get up and get ready for the day he'd tell me to stay just a little longer in bed. So I did. I often daydream like this an hour or so at a time and I find it very pleasant. Even though it sounds sad, I think today's going to be a good day. I'm drinking some coffee and going to do some drawing. I hope everyone else here has a good day too.
220 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-24 20:17
>>219

You fantasize about bein held hostage? That's odd.
221 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-24 22:26
>>220
Try to watch less tv and social media.
222 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-25 03:42
>>221

Haven't watched TV in more than 7 years and idk what this has to do with your fantasies.
223 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-25 11:35
>>222
I see.
224 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-26 18:46
I'm not doing too fantastic, but managing. It's hard to look forward to anything right now. Today I'm going to take a long shower and maybe work on some network projects.
225 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-29 04:31
She said YES.
226 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-29 13:21
>>225
Congratulations.
"Yes" to what?
227 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-29 13:29
>>226
Usually that means marriage or dating. Courtship in general, or maybe she said yes to the suicide cult invitation? The anticpation is killing me.
228 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-29 18:49
Missing my long distance.
Might try to get something done for one of my friend groups today.
229 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-29 19:22
>>227
Dating, nothing suicidally fancy like that.
230 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-30 00:12
Currently, I'm lazing around like a snail.
231 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-30 08:00
Well the test might've been negative but I am still coughing like I am about to die. The doc gave me 2 different meds, none are working so he sent me to a doc specialised on lungs/respiratory stuff.
Wierd, I never ever smoked or something but I just started coughing over night and haven't stopped since.
My stomach already hurts from the constant muscle contraction and my throat is sore from all the coughing. But apparently it's nothing with my lungs themselves because my breathing is fine. I don't really feel sick either, it's just that the constant coughing is annoying and sometimes exhausting. Also everyone outside thinks I am a walking Coronabomb lol.

Well let's see what the lung doctor says. I wish they just ripped out my respiratory tract and gave me a new one.
232 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-30 22:39
>>231
Damn, that must be horrible to feel like that, you have my prayers and wishes to get better sooner. Fight, fight on!
233 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-31 05:48
>>232
Thanks man! I hope it's nothing serious. I never ever had a serious illness or injury in my life, never even broke a bone so I am naively optimistic about it ^^
I'll update you guys as soon as I know what it is.
234 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-01 05:06
Midnight for me, so I guess now is a good time to post this. I have a fever of 101°F so I'm really stressed out about it, getting tested for COVID asap.
235 Name: Paperplane : 2020-08-02 14:46
>>234
Hoping for the best, man! Get well soon!
236 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-02 23:53
>>234
Hope you're doing okay, keep us updated, potential-covid-anon!
237 Name: Paperplane : 2020-08-04 18:36
>>233
Ok I was at the doc today and did about ~2 hours of all kinds of tests. Xray, asthma test, some kind of pressurized breathing chamber with tubes I had to breath in and the result:
Your lungs are perfectly healthy idk why you're coughing lol

So yeah, nice to hear that my lungs are alright but still don't know why am coughing so much. He presrcibed me some pills that might help but we'll see.
238 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-04 19:41
I ordered condoms over the internet, but they didn't fit

so I turned them into balloons
239 Name: Paperplane : 2020-08-08 06:34
>>238
lol
>>237
Meds are working and I rarely even cough throughout the day anymore. Let's just hope that it stays this way even when I stop taking them.
240 Name: apurplemouse : 2020-08-11 18:16
>>13
I feel you, best friend was constantly suicidal. Shit took tolls on my mental health
241 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-11 23:28
>>240
I just typed out an entire message in reply to you and then realized I was >>13.

Anyway, I had to distance myself from her. We're still friends but we're not nearly as close as we used to be. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. This king of thing sucks, man.

It's funny, that was the most stressful period of my life, and yet I still miss it. I guess that just shows how your brain likes to focus on only the good memories.
242 Name: apurplemouse : 2020-08-12 00:39
>>241
Yeah, agreed. Unfortunately, I had the other possibility of what happens when a suicidal friend, isn't your friend anymore. While it was initially hard to accept that he was well and truly gone, I felt a comfort in knowing that for him at least, the pain was finally over. If anything he died a long time ago and however cliche it sounds, he was a shell the soul he once was by the time it was all done. If anyone here whos reading this is having suicidal thoughts just remember that there's always someone who cares about you, who remembers you. If you can't find the motivation to cheer up yourself, try and do it for them... anyways sorry about the sob story, its not something I talk about often and ill admit I tend to overshare with the false sense of security that's given while online.
243 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-12 07:18
I feel like there's a bioforce we've yet come to know.

I'm ready to warp into new realms. And this board no longer seems the same.
I'm ready to break some chains, I think.

Please feel the same thing. Have a nice life.
244 Name: Paperplane : 2020-08-12 20:01
>>243
Godspeed!

>>239
And I am still dying! Meds stopped working, seeing the 3rd doc tomorrow. Coughing is getting worse even. Starting to get worried here.
245 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-14 06:30
I'm doing pretty good. Been talking to a psychologist and we're unpacking a lot of stuff from when I was a kid.
He thinks that my lowered affect is a learned behavior because I had to be stable when living alone with my very unstable single mother. I think he's probably right. She used this thing called "emotional blackmail" to get her way, and more importantly, to get as much of my attention as possible. I spent so much of my time just trying to get away from her. It's probably why I ended up with so many late nights on the internet, because it was the only time I could really get time to myself with how needy she was. Then, if I ever confronted her about it, she would have a full on breakdown and not recover until I'd "snuggle" with her for literal hours. It wasn't anything incestuous (on my end at least, and hopefully hers, god willing) but still really fucking weird for a 14 year old. I don't think that she realized how much she was really asking from me. So she'd be a crying mess and I'd be stonefaced, letting her cling to me on the couch, just trying to figure out when I can finally get away.

It's hard to think about this kind of thing.
246 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-23 00:01
>>245
I'm glad that you're recovering slowly, every small step helps. Continue on this track.
247 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-24 17:25
I feel a little odd today.

I've received a message from a penpal living in China, who I started talking to at least 3 months ago. We agreed to message each other at least once a month, but I haven't heard from them in some time, until today.

It looks like my last message helped them finally make her mind up about staying true to what they felt deep inside. They moved out of her family's house (which might be more uncommon in China) and went for a Kino no Tabi-esque trip.
I'm glad they did this. Instead of trying to cope with depression by listening to all these "mindfulness" gurus and doing exercises that have a mixed rate of success, they'll now be true to themselves and will probably think about what they would really like to do in *their* life instead of being told what to do. I think some introspection might help them beat the demons of their past.
That being said, I still do worry about them a little.

I didn't think my words could have held this much influence. Unreal.
I wish I could help myself as well...
248 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-26 23:56
>>247
Her whole family moved out along with her? Why?
249 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 01:05
>>248
I used the she/her pronouns it first, then attempted to change it to they/their. I didn't notice I didn't replace all of them, that's why my post reads so bad.
250 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 01:36
>>249
this pronouns meme I swear
251 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 02:01
>>250
Kind of saw that response coming.
I just didn't want to give the gender away for anonymity, I don't care about the pronouns meme.
In fact, I really dislike it.
252 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 06:25
I lurked on the internet today. Just going through communities and home pages like it was the old days was oddly therapeutic after being such a grump regarding the net. There's fun to be had!
253 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 20:25
>>251
The couple times I needed to hide the gender of someone I mentioned I used "this person".
254 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-27 22:48
>>253
Can you agree "they/their" is way less harmless than some neopronouns? When the language gives one a handy way to anonymize one's gender, *they* may as well make use of it. No need to jump the gun in this case, trust me.
"This person" is a viable substitute, but it makes the sentences longer while sounding a little less natural, at least to me.

>>252
I do this once in a while and get a little sad I missed out on so many places.
255 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-28 01:22
>>252
This doesn't work anymore in my opinion, no pushing allowed.
256 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-28 02:11
>>254
I say "this person" if I want to be ambiguous. If I want to talk about a generic person I say he because it's one letter shorter than she. It's about as gendered as when I say "mankind" to represent the entirety of the human race. For the general population it was fine to say he, or she, as a placeholder until the gender meme became a vehicle for newspeak. "They" creates situations like the post above where you don't know if someone's talking about a group of people or a single person in the group.
Stallman proposed to use "pers" or something like that, standing for "person". I think this issue is completely invented because a sane person can always separate form from content. Those who speak romance languages routinely use feminine or masculine words for objects or professions. Nobody objected... until the 1% started astroturfing their weird newspeak changes that sound jarring and suddenly turn previously gendered but neutrally perceived word "masculine" or "feminine" by contrast.
257 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-28 21:49
>>256

I still don't really think I can fully agree with everything you've said so far.

If I want to talk about a generic person I say he
But that would be incorrect.

"They" creates situations like the post above where you don't know if someone's talking about a group of people or a single person in the group.
I think this issue is completely invented because a sane person can always separate form from content.

Now read >>254 and tell me - does "they" refer to a group of people? Not quite, even more so when it's prefaced by "one". It's usually easy to tell from the context.
Now for the "post above" you mentioned (>>247, I assume?) looks so bad, because the pronouns haven't been replaced everywhere.

from a penpal
haven't heard from them

"Penpal" implies it's a person, not a group.

Want one more example of a singular "they" being good? The gender of Death Note's author, Tsugumi Ohba isn't known.
You would have to say "it was them who write Death Note" if you wanted to be correct.
Staying on the topic, Death Note's shinigami are genderless. Japanese allows for this, so does English. There are countries where Death Note was released and they had to do what you're saying - assign a gender to the shinigami. At this point, it kind of changed the author's intentions.

Those who speak romance languages routinely use feminine or masculine words for objects or professions. Nobody objected... until the 1% started astroturfing their weird newspeak changes that sound jarring and suddenly turn previously gendered but neutrally perceived word "masculine" or "feminine" by contrast.

Not just romance languages.

Now that's the real issue that I also have problems with. I puke a little every time I see some weird invention like "what did xe say?". It looks ugly. Besides, the letter "x" isn't used in all of the languages; some straight up don't use it, so it looks even worse.
Some political parties (usually the leftist ones) are trying to remove "man" from "repairman" and "manhours", because WOMEN EXIST! WE DEMAND IT'S CHANGED! instead of concentrating on real issues.
I believe that's one of the reasons leftist parties rarely win. I, for one, might agree with them on some subjects, but am not very inclined to vote for them when they keep pulling crap like that.
Fuck newspeak, man. I understand the languages have to evolve, but not like that.
258 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-28 22:35
>>257
Want one more example of a singular "they" being good? >The gender of Death Note's author, Tsugumi Ohba isn't known.
You would have to say "it was them who write Death Note" if you wanted to be correct.
I'd just say he, the author, whose gender is unknown.
The sole reason why this is perceived as "wrong" is that gender has become a massive deal, and using a masculine pronoun neutrally now offends people like you actually assumed one's gender. No, I am just using he neutrally. If someone prefers using she, he might use she. Or she might use he. Personally I think the information of whether the author is singular or plural matters more - when it comes to the particle I am using - than the gender. Language is filled with ambivalences and ambiguity that, as I mentioned before, people know how to filter out.

That said we live in this society which is changing. If I were really forced to come up with a neutral pronoun, as much as I hate how it sounds, I would rather have an entirely new thing like Stallman's per, pers, or even xe (ze?). I don't know which but I think it should be easy to articulate (that's why pronouns in Western languages often start with vowels, fricatives, etc.)
I can't recall similar large-scale changes to language happening artificially outside of 1984, but considering that's our handbook for the future I don't see why not.
259 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-28 22:59
>>258
Actually... I would rather come off as sexist and keep using one between he or she than aid the destruction of language by the puppet masters. I think language is incredibly powerful and a very precious resource, it has the property of being a vector and container of cultural cues. It tells you the truth. The truth today is that your gender, your race, your disabilities, your sexual preferences, your age, will never matter as much as your class and social status. Not even close. In the past we had special pronouns for the rich and powerful, Your Majesty, My Lord, Your Excellence, Master, etc. The special pronouns existed to indicate that this status mattered. Nothing about status has changed, but the language has been increasingly misguided to give special weight to things that have none.
If we really wanted to make our politically-driven language more precise and socially conscious we should start using different pronouns for people who are wealthy, because class, right now in this world, is the only element about one's person that truly matters.
260 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 00:39
>>258

I'd just say he, the author, whose gender is unknown.
Well, that's a long way to describe it, but I guess it'd work.

that gender has become a massive deal
You reminded me of my key point I always bring up - it's yet another label. People want labels to feel special; they always did.
When I was younger, people made themselves appear special with clothes, bands they listened to, whatever. Nowadays it's... gender.

using a masculine pronoun neutrally now offends people like you actually assumed one's gender

I always chuckle when I think about how pronoun users expect you to read their bio (or even worse, some external website) on Twitter before attempting to talk to them. Imagine that happening in real life.

If I were really forced to come up with a neutral pronoun, as much as I hate how it sounds, I would rather have an entirely new thing like Stallman's per, pers, or even xe (ze?).

I still believe a singular "they" works just fine.
The thing is it doesn't exist in every language. Then again, only English counts, right?

I don't know which but I think it should be easy to articulate

Just like I said, I've seen neopronouns in languages other than English and they looked ugly. Pronouncing them proves even uglier, since just like I mentioned some languages don't use an "x" letter and substitute it with two or three different letters internally.
Kids who try hard to adapt that kind of novelty from the US will realize how hard it is once they put their smartphones back in their pockets.

>>259
I'm with you on that.
261 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 06:31
>>260
The west is already so far gone that western kids do not need to put away their mobile broadband node, ever and if they did, children can't comprehend gore until it's too late and it will escalate quickly with them, due to how far the west has gone.
262 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 09:31
>>261
Full hermit is the only way to go.
263 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 09:54
Oh please, it's not that bad.
You have access to nearly everything ever made or written and stuff that would kill you 100 or so years ago are minor inconveniences. Keep your chin up and stop being so gloomy and whiny about the "West" especially when easterners complain how everything is broken over there too, I wonder if that's a grass is greener or if people are unhappy with modern society... which reminds me of that Blur album. Was Blur actually good or is it just what was in then?
>>260
Just like I said, I've seen neopronouns in languages other than English and they looked ugly.
There is some debate about the whole latinx thing, I imagine with certain romance languages it is border impossible unless one was to overhaul the entire language.
Languages, change, and it's okay.
Though, as an ESL, I thought it already had a solution to the gender neutral thing. Neuters/non-gendered things used the masculine pronouns?
>>262
I could not imagine something more boring than being a full hermit. There are two things universally enjoyed by humans, socializing and exercise and there is something wrong if you don't enjoy either.
Just find like-minded friends who don't buy into what you dislike. Live and let live, man.
264 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 11:56
>>263
Spaniard here. In our language we have what we call "generic masculin" to refer to a group of people. So you "los alumnos" (the pupils) even though it's a group of boys and girls. Similar to saying "you guys" to a mixed group. But for a long time institutions have pushing stuff like "alumnos y alumnas", "alumnos/as" and even more retarded shit like "alumn@s", "alumnxs" and "alumnes".
Yes, languages change, but it's a long and natural process. All this is forced (comes from America) and makes the language more difficult to use. Not to mention nobody had an issue with the gender of words until this was pushed. It's American culture imposed into us, and I hate it.
Also I hang out with lots of latinos and every single one thing the "latinx" thing is retarded. I think it's only used by 2nd and higher generation middle class immigrants in America who don't even speak Spanish.
265 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-29 22:45
>>263
Nah I'm mostly shitting you, I prefer hikki hermit snow tundra shitholes over false dichotomy meme shitholes. I'm still shitting everyone on the network, so can't take the hikki title nor the full hermit one.
there is something wrong if you don't enjoy either.
Humans are not perfect by definition, there can't be a perfect human, there is something wrong. Many wrong things with the big picture and especially the internal picture.
Live and let live, man.
Love and peace we go together.
>>264
* American 265th wave middle class immigrant walks into peaceful spanish cathedral on a saturn day.
* Immigrant walks in front of the officially post-pre-post-modern vatican approved castrated femboy choir™ during mass.
* Immigrant turns around.
* Immigrant yells "l#z nez!zt1 a!umn@z" repeatably thinking it's singing.
* Immigrant starts shitting profoundly everywhere then dies.
* Yet another architecturally wonderful spanish cathedral becomes red/brown instead of the proper black/grey or historically unknown tartarian white.
* "eyyyyy im back", said the returning american immigrant spaniard to the conceptual pure spaniard in meta.
266 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 01:05
>>265
* Immigrant yells "l#z nez!zt1 a!umn@z" repeatably thinking it's singing.
^¡?(((ja|h[ae]|xa|fu){2,}|(top)?(l[euo]lz?|kek))|(that('|\si)?s(\s((kind|sort)(a?|\sof)|real(ly)?|pretty))?\sfu(nny|cked\sup),?(\s(tbh|ng|y(o|'know))?)?))[\.!]*$
267 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 04:10
>>266

#!/usr/bin/awk -f
function d() { return "wanted" }
function u() { return "I" }
function c() { return "what" }
function k() { return "is" }
function s() { return "this" }
function S() { return "now" }
function x() { return "Lmao," }
function funktionieren(f, eval, n, quack) {
chaties=""
n=split(f, quack, "")
for(i=1; i<=n; i++) {
eval=quack[i]
chaties=@eval() " " chaties
}
}
function ducksSx() {
$0 ~ /fu\(nny\|cked\\sup\)/ && funktionieren(FILENAME)
}
BEGIN{ chaties="ciao" }
END {
ducksSx()
print chaties
}

Error malformed markup due to [] and i.
Capey-dono I don't like this regex hell.
268 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 08:21
I feel like im missing something here.
269 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 15:04
>>268
It seems the spam ai has finally reached afternoon. Well, we had a good run.
270 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 15:39
>>269
It seems the spam ai has finally reached afternoon.
"the" spam ai? is there one in particular you're referencing?
271 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 17:23
I think it’s funny how fragile internal clocks are. One sleepless night, and you’re a day sleeper!
I also have been feeling guilty about not posting on certain sites that probably could use the posts. Hum.
272 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 17:26
>>269
For a spam AI, seems pretty minor.
273 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 18:07
>>269
(Ugh+|Dear)?\s([xs]ir|bro(ther)?|m{a'm|ister|mo+m)) it's not spam, it's the future of language!
274 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-30 19:30
>>270
>>272
This place has been listed and had deep AIs posting since 2013 but anon is shitting you.
275 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-31 04:46
I'm going back to work soon and hoping I don't get killed by the corona.
276 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-31 06:54
Covid seems to be on the decline, I wouldn't worry unless you work in a place like a hospice or elderly home.
277 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-31 21:13
doing you mom lmao !
278 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-03 10:29
>>263

There is some debate about the whole latinx thing

Most "latinx" people I know, regardless of whether they're Colombian, Chilean or Brazilian tell Americans to fuck off with that nonsense in like 90% of the cases.
But you know, Americans are so self-centered they won't even sign a petition to save something engulfed in flames in South America, because "there literally are places that are burning right now, Idaho for example".
(source: https://twitter.com/hihereami/status/1300693587320098817)
People in South America have every right to be angry.

>>276
Where? I believe there are many places that are struggling with it right now.
279 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-03 16:07
If you get angry over Twitter you deserve to be tilted.
I just don't understand why the pronoun thing bothers so many people in general, it's not like its hard and makes people feel good and you run into more people complaining about it than people actually wanting that sort of thing.
280 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-04 00:49
>>279
Isn't it better to just ignore Twitter most of the time?
281 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-04 18:07
I'm having a fun friday with my mother, I hope everyone else enjoys themselves today as well.
282 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-04 21:14
Today was difficult. Tomorrow will be worse.
We'll have to wait for the better times.
283 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-05 20:24
>>282
Yes, today was much, much worse.
Wish me luck.
284 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-06 00:20
>>283
Fingers crossed.
285 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-06 00:23
>>283
Good luck, fren. I wish all the good thingies of the world come to you.
286 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-06 09:20
I've had a cramp several days ago, but there's still some weird feeling in my leg, and now I'm not sure whether it was a cramp or something way more serious.
287 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-06 18:29
A friend just dropped me cold turkey because I didn't want to talk politics with them because I knew it'd just lead to fights. It kind of hurts.
288 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-06 22:43
Then that clearly wasnt a friend and you are honestly better off without that negativity.
289 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-07 01:22
>>288
Thanks, in a certain sense that really helps. I'm still kind of miserable and worried for him. I was his only friend as far as I know, and I think he was kind of intentionally sabotaging the friendship to give himself another thing to be miserable over. I got an ultimatum and I worded my response really poorly and that was that. Basically you're entirely right and it's only bringing me down in the long run but I'm having trouble helping myself.
290 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-07 09:47
>>289
Indeed,you aren't only blaming yourself for his decision, you are justifying it in his stead.
If you want to make his well-being your responsibility then by all means try to help him. But understand that his rejection isn't so much about you doing something wrong as it is him collecting misery and generating more drama and self-loathing for himself.
Your happiness should be your priority, as his happiness should be his.
291 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-08 05:58
Worked on some Calculus homework with a classmate today. I was having alot of trouble understanding some of the problems and almost cried out of frustration but we were able to solve some of them and I was able to get it finished.
293 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-11 13:42
>>291

Which book are you using?
294 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-12 02:31
I've been feeling all groggy as of late due to the anesthesia I had to take from removing my tooth, otherwise the day has been quite productive unlike the previous ones, I was able to do so much.
295 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-12 13:53
>>293

It's a Calculus I textbook that was provided to us for free by Openstax. It doesn't seem like a bad textbook, but I still have trouble following some of the explanations so I focus more on relying on my professor's explanations instead.
296 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 17:00
I just realized that the two threads I posted in yesterday were deleted, and now I'm feeling a little dejected because I'll never know if someone read my posts.
297 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 17:12
>>296
Are you talking about "The old internet"? I read it. Not sure why it was deleted tbh
298 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 17:42
>>297
There must have been a lot more than just a couple of threads deleted then. The front page yesterday and the front page today looked totally different in terms of what threads were bumped most recently.
299 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 17:51
>>296
>>297
I'd be guessing it's because the topic's been discussed in several places on this board, for example →/read/1590468889, and also because the OP posted it on another board as well.
Kind of a shame, because the answers to the question in the OP were very good this time around.

>>298
I didn't notice anything missing. What do you feel is?
300 Name: !Capey7gV1s : 2020-09-15 18:29
Sorry about the missing threads. Someone was making a lot of low quality posts, so I deleted all the posts from that IP. It seems that they were the OP's of two threads and all consequently all the posts in those threads were purged. It's not much comfort, but I read your posts and enjoyed them.
301 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 18:44
>>299
There was a thread titled "Internet Addicts" (https://afternoon.dynu.com/read/1599885704), "The old internet" (https://afternoon.dynu.com/read/1599917742) and "NEET/Hikikomori Thread" (https://afternoon.dynu.com/read/1599885631)
302 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 19:41
>>300
Thank you, feels renewing to get an explanation about something that happened on the internet for once.
303 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-15 23:12
>>300
Understandable. Thank you for running this great place!

>>301
You're right. I forgot about the NEET thread, as I didn't participate in it before it got deleted.
Now that I think about it, the "your favourite anime?" thread is missing as well.
304 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-22 17:03
I overslept again :(
305 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-22 23:39
A liberal yelled at me on the street today because one of the pins on my bag is a pride flag with a rifle on it.
306 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-23 04:04
Wearing political imagery is not worth the trouble.
307 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-23 16:48
I love my family! I hope I can spend more time with them.
308 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-25 14:14
Falling behind in school, but I'm doing my best to catch up.
309 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-25 17:06
Where did Paperplane go? Has anyone heard from him since >>244
310 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-26 15:24
I beat my Tetris record twice today
311 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-26 20:55
>>310
Nice. I got a 39.49 40L time earlier today.
312 Name: Paperplane : 2020-09-28 12:28
>>309

Hey I am still here!
I still have no actual diagnosis yet but I went to a doc that specialises on throat/ears/nose and I did an allergy test, blood test and he checked my skull cavities and ofc throat and mouth and basically everything and all is fine. Normal blood levels, no allergies, nada.
So his last resort was prescribing me pills that lower the acidity of my stomach because maybe my coughing is caused by a reflux. And yep, not only two days on that medication my coughing went almost completely away and when it was used up, it started again.
So apparently when I sleep, my stomach acid burns my throat so I have to cough all day and coughing just spreads the acid more...
Now why I suddenly developed this condition is for yet another doctor to diagnose. I will probably have to get a gastroscopy. It could be the muscle, or some enzyme thing or whatever. Not pleasant but also nothing life threatening.

Aside from that I am fine.
How are you?
313 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-28 13:44
Just wanted to say that this place looks cool and comfy, and that I think I'll start lurking here instead of lainchan.
314 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-28 17:17
My teeth are so fucked up.
315 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-29 01:37
>>314
pi there! apples do not fall far from trees. whether the cause was nurture or nature, you should consider seeing an orthodontist or a dentist to resolve your issue, if possible.
316 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-29 02:53
>>315

^ this. Dental care is an investment. If you spend a couple grand now, you’ll avoid a whole lot of pain and money later even if it’s a lot to come up with now
317 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-30 07:50
Shit like this makes me think that maybe Ted Kaczynski was right: https://web.archive.org/web/20200511172408/https://mainstreet.one/

Main Street One repairs harmful narratives and advances positive ones on behalf of causes, campaigns, and companies. Our intelligence system tracks opportunities to shift public discourse and then outputs messages and content to change the outcome.

We figured out how to identify algorithmically ongoing opportunities to win each day’s discourse. Based on these data models, we create and distribute messages at the scale, speed, accuracy (and lower cost) required to actually win it.
318 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-30 19:27
The butterflies were migrating today. Watching them was very nice.
319 Name: Anonymous : 2020-09-30 19:39
>>317
Looks like this belongs on the reading thread.
320 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-01 10:45
Back to work today after 3 months of not working (or getting paid)! I have a headache, but I'm feeling pretty good nonetheless.
I hope you're all ok money-wise.
321 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-12 06:59
I climbed up three peaks to the top of a mountain today!
322 Name: Paperplane : 2020-10-12 13:07
>>321
That's cool. Like with actual climbing ropes and stuff?
323 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-14 07:52
Sometimes I feel like there is too much information in the world.
324 Name: Paperplane : 2020-10-14 17:45
>>323

Why?
325 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-14 18:25
>>324
I make endless lists of things that I want to read/watch/listen to and then never actually do anything with them.
326 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-14 18:39
>>325
Having a large knowledge of all the cultural media out there is good too! Maybe lessen the goals of what you'd like to listen/watch/read, or have some triaging?
I found that by clearing my list each month I'm forced to reevaluate what I truly want to try.
Have you read/watched/listened to anything nice recently?

--

>>1
Today I was... half productive?
I contacted quite a few of my friends which I'm proud of doing. But when I come to do some studying I keep getting these light headaches which throw me off my game.
327 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-15 04:06
>>326
Have you read/watched/listened to anything nice recently?
Not really.
328 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-15 14:24
I somehow managed to beat my Tetris record even though I am sleepy as hell.
329 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-15 15:48
I miss you.
330 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-15 20:41
>>327
I'm sorry to hear that.
Do you think it's due to your selection on to the list?
Or more towards not finding things nice?
(I note this second question as I find it can be common sentiment found on message boards)

>>328
Nice job! What tetris you playing?
I used to love smashing out long sessions on Tetris DX on Gameboy Colour, up until I gave it away 5 years ago or so.
331 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-16 05:44
>>330
I am too busy either
a) looking for more things to add to my lists (I also don't organize those lists properly, and because of that I don't know where to start from);
b) wasting my time on useless and meaningless things like playing Tetris or reading random Wikipedia articles;
c) thinking about the things that I want to read/watch/listen to later (e. g., "What if there is a better album and I just haven't found it yet? What if the album I'm going to listen to is primitive, and I am too stupid to realize it? What if somebody will find the music I listen to distasteful? [even though I don't often talk to other people about my music tastes] Maybe I shouldn't listen to music at all, and do something more productive? [and then I end up doing things described in the second point of this list]").

Nice job! What tetris you playing?
Quadrapassel.
332 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-18 17:37
There is no one I can trust.
333 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-18 21:04
333 GET!
334 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-18 22:01
(∩⌣̀_⌣́)
problem: 87.19% of the posters here don't eat enough apples.
solution?
give (333 posts) * (8 apples/post)
= 2664 apples to everyone here, or eight for each post!

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remember: eight apples a day keeps the scurvy away!
335 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-19 13:08
I keep waking up not wanting to do the things I planned the night before.
336 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-19 16:14
I wish I was taking it easy.
337 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-20 21:54
Noita recently hit 1.0 and I've been waiting for this day to play it. Now I feel like there isn't enough time in the day, something I haven't felt in a very long time. I'm quite literally addicted to this game. I play it from the moment I get home from work until I go to sleep, it's the only thing I think about at work, and I even have dreams about it. I've changed my eating habits slightly so that I don't have to spend nearly as much time cooking and eating while I'm at home, specifically so I can play Noita for longer.
338 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-21 05:06
>>337
I've changed my eating habits slightly so that I don't have to spend nearly as much time cooking and eating while I'm at home
I'd like to hear more about this improvement in efficiency.
339 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-21 12:21
Woke up early today, things are good so far but we'll see how the day pans out
340 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-22 09:54
Woke up late. Been having trouble sleeping properly for the past few days -- but on the other hand, I've been having really long and vivid dreams.
341 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-22 20:42
>>340
That's your body doing compensatory REM sleep, isn't it?
342 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-26 18:02
>>339
Sorry for the delay, don't check her terribly often.
It's nothing special, I just use my slow cooker to make a ton of whatever I'm making and eat that for like a week straight. Sometimes I'll make a different side every day but the main course is always the same. Important to note, but I only do one meal a day so the flavor doesn't get tiring nearly as fast. Also I try to eat it at work since we're forced to take a 1 hour lunch so that's 1 hour where I'm normally not doing anything. I used to only eat dinner but been moving closer to only lunch.
343 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-28 17:58
Good!
I didn't get much done from my todo list, but I connected with an old friend who I talked to about statistics. I think that helped my understanding.
Plus I arranged a new correspondence board game.
344 Name: Anonymous : 2020-10-29 09:54
I am doing well. I cleaned my room a whole lot today, it has been cluttered and dusty for too long. I have been listening to an old mp3 player I haven't used in years and there is so much stuff on there I had forgotten about, that is a nice feeling.

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