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How's everyone doing today?
209 replies
176 days old
last post: Jul 7, 2020
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How's everyone doing today?

160 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-12 07:46
Just finished my last report for today. I'm sort of optimistic for my grades since I spent more time than usual on my work being cooped up inside. However since all the tests had to be take-home I don't know how grades will be assigned, hopefully the professors decide to be kind.
161 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-12 21:48
>>159
While that may be true i fucked up even harder because my uni was giving a "pass or fail" option for the coursers semester. If i had signed up in time i would have been able to select a "pass" option for the classes i did bad in.
162 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-18 02:38
It's been a while since I've worked on any personal projects, and I just pushed myself to do a game jam this weekend. There's still a bit to go, and the product is kind of crappy, but I think we got a good amount done. I'm pretty proud of the progress. I've got that sort of exhaustion that goes right to the pit of your chest though. In a certain way it feels kind of good.
163 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-22 17:22
Working at home and work computer just blue screened and now can't get to the desktop. This is the second computer I've had to borrow from work since the first one also broke.
Why does this have to happen to me?
164 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-23 00:11
>>163
because you suck
165 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-24 20:23
I've pretty much only been doing Uni work right now. Everything else I either can't do or don't find any joy in anymore. I've been trying to revisit things I liked a couple of years ago but they just don't make me happy like they used to. I guess that's just the way life goes.

Here's a song, I hope you like it x
https://youtu.be/vEBOuXYLMU4
166 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-25 23:58
I turned 27 today but I'm pretty indifferent about it. My quarter life crisis already came and went, got a motorcycle out of it lol. Sat all this morning during a storm wondering what I should be doing with the last of my 20's, i've posted it on like 3 or 4 different imageboards asking for advice but it's all lackluster tbh or I've been there done that to the rest of the suggestions.

Sometimes I feel like the boomer wojak meme where I'm(mentally) sitting back drinking a beer and just watching the sun set without much fuss even though inside I have so much pent up energy. I did do some spring cleaning though, cleaned out my computer and organized my music, something good came out of today's day off.
167 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-26 03:50
>>166
My plan since high school has always been to buy a motorcycle and just hit the road north here in California, listening to my favorite music along the way. That's at least what I would with that energy.
Also my day has been pretty good, this might be sort of inappropriate for this board, but I fucked this really hot girl the other last night and she was saying all these nice things to me. Really boosted my ego for the whole day.
168 Name: Anonymous : 2020-05-26 04:29
>>167
It's not that it's innappropriate but you could've phrased it a little better baka~~

When I got it I got it more out of spite than anything, took me awhile to get used to it and I'm still learning. Definitely don't regret it yet though, it's like a weight off my shoulders in the sense that at least I tried it even if it wasn't as life changing as I imagined it. Quite frankly I got used to it much faster than I expected.

I wouldn't mind a girl to be romantic with, at this point though it's hard to imagine since I've been alone for such a long time now. Sometimes I feel as though I don't want one deep down and that scares me more than me just not being able to get one.
169 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 10:23
I'm considering quitting my work. Reading a book on and off, and protagonist is thinking about it too. We live in a matrix.
170 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 16:01
Been feeling really down about the current state recently. I feel like there isn't a remote chance of having a /comfy/ lifestyle anymore.
My dream was to get a permanent japanese visa and have a little comfy Japanese cabbage farm. Live off the land in the country, go hiking, go fishing, go camping, get married, have kids and raise them without the internet culture and sensationalism of the modern world. I guess in reality I was too naive to think there would ever be a chance at that. In the end we need to grow up and face reality. What a depressing and cold thought.
171 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-01 18:31
>>170
Been there. Slaps from reality hurt me every single day. I don't know what to say to you.
172 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-02 19:21
I'm really pissed about something and I'm also pissed about the fact that I'm pissed about it.
Unsure if it's culturally the same everywhere else in a non-English speaking country but usually you have:

1. The people who spend their time in the internet outside of social media in English-speaking communities discussing non-country-specific activities e.g., anime.

2. The people speaking English 70% of the time and frequent social media including Reddit and for the most part twitter. They usually are into western tvshows and the western culture in general, some read books, relatively nice and approachable people and can co-exist with both for 1. and 3. because they're very sociable I suppose.

3. The rest, mostly native speaking social media users.

If I'm to put myself as 1., an old friend of mine is 2. and we've stopped talking for quite a while now, partially because real life stood in the way and because we're from different internet "circles", our relationship died completely. I was very interested in them because of the mutual thoughts we shared outside of our hobbies and interests when I was early 1. person but then slowly more and more dove far away from 2. which made it harder (very hard) to find people interested in me because I couldn't keep up conversations much and probably because my interests didn't match theirs in addition to the social factor.

Recently I met another person from 2. and they were nice however just like the other person, they showed very little dependency on me no matter how I actually impress them and show that I'm actually interesting. I looked them up online and found out that they have the exact interests and the exact circle, it made me think that they probably should meet each other instead of being with me over a period of time.

I'm pissed that I'm thinking that way and it's affecting my work! so I slapped myself and got back to work, hurts a bit still but I gotta move on. I'm thinking about picking a simple and small game that doesn't require much investment to enjoy because I haven't played games in a while now.
173 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-02 19:58
You can try playing go or mahjong online. These communities are really nice people.
174 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 00:05
>>172
Not much to add to that one, but it pisses me off the internet's designed in such a way we could be from the same country, but both of us frequent an anonymous IB, so even if we have the same interests we will never know.
That, and the fact that in order to speak to the people from you country who are into the same things you have to go to several English-speaking communities (usually US-centric ones, too) to find several of these on each of them. It's a big diaspora! I shuffle through like 3-4 Discord servers now to talk to similar people from my country, it gets pretty annoying at times.

Twitter really promotes circles and bubbles, too.
175 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 11:10
>>174

Well IMO it's certainly because we, internet users, abused usernames the wrong way and it lead to push 1. to anonymous posting and 2. and 3. to public name posting.

In a perfect world, we'd only be username posting on the internet and only expose our real life persona/details if we must/want to e.g., meeting an online friend in real life.

Corporations made their users feel that the platforms they're using are populated by people that think like them and forced them to exist only there for the most part to discuss everything, Discord is one.

Anonymous posting alienated the people who don't have something else to fallback to I suppose? 2. already feels social by being in their platform because it's "social" media. Everything that interests you is done in a social fashion however 1. separates the social aspect from the interests and users with no other place fulfill the social aspect end up at a disadvantage.

I suppose ideally forums with no dedicated chat server would work best because it requires you to send an email to the person you're interested in and that your relationship with them would be independent from the forum itself.

I think the latter wouldn't promote circles and bubbles in the twitter(bad) sense but rather makes people open to many forums while keeping their social aspect decentralized/independent from any of them. I don't know really...
176 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-03 17:05
I've been doing a bit better today. A lot of my despair in life is caused from anxiety and when I get that under control I feel better. In the mean time I've been studying for my midterms and working on some small projects. I recently found some old 5.25 floppy games and have been trying to get my hands on a drive to back them up before they deteriorate.
177 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-20 02:45
Hi friends, how do you deal with trolls? Obviously, there’s the tried and true adage of don’t feed the trolls, but sometimes you encounter some really persistent and toxic posters, and sometimes you can’t help but get an emotional reaction. It doesn’t help that thanks to this entire worldwide pandemic my IRL social life has dropped to zero. I just feel like shit sometimes.
178 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-20 08:21
>>177
Just close the tab and take a step back. This of course requires you to realise you're being emotionally manipulated in the heat of the moment but whenever I notice I'm in some fruitless discussion with a troll I just leave the thread/close the tab. There's nothing to be won or lost and all he wants is for you to reply more.
179 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-22 00:37
I'm doing fine.

First time visitting here actually.

>>176
I can relate to that struggle, only traced the despair to anxiety quite recently. It is a very popular thing among college students.
180 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-22 14:59
I've created my first signature drink. Named it Vanilla Ice after my jojos. Also because it's made with cream. Hah. You can laugh now.
Haven't slept today. Our quarantine situation is getting worse.
I wanna chug a beer and fall asleep.
181 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 01:48
I just got off work and I'm chilling in the bar up the street from my workplace enjoying a nice cold Olympia.
I didn't get much sleep last night, so I'm thinking about taking a nap when I get home.
My workweek is over and I'm looking forward to relaxing for the next couple days.
182 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 14:23
>>178
>>179
doing better now, thanks. i was quite ill when i posted that, so that might have been a factor. i was also anxious about entering my first job, feel like i'm going to leave the innocence of my youth behind.
183 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 18:03
>>181
I don't think they have Olympia where I live. Is it pretty good?
184 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 21:00
im ok :)

working on setting up a deadline to give some urgency to personal projects, have to finish a painting by friday, ive been wasting far too much time recently
185 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-23 21:47
>>183
It's a cheap, crappy beer but I like it. It's kind of like PBR.
Tastes great when it's ninety-whatever degrees out and you just got out of a hot kitchen.
186 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-25 02:09
I've been better. Been working on fan translation in the manga community again, but haven't been able to find other members to collab with and/or people aren't responding to questions (not to collab, other stuff). Nevertheless, glad I began reading manga again. Definitely helps me escape and makes me feel something close to happiness.
187 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-26 08:57
Everything hurts, so I wrote a poem.

生きられない、
でも、死なない。
俺の永久。
- Anon
188 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-27 11:15
>>187
I know that feel.
189 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-28 03:37
My cat went missing on the 24th and hasn't been back since
Goddammit bro's I feel so sad ;_; my baby is out there all alone and can't find her way back. I've already posted on craigslist and asked the local shelter if they have her, but no luck. I'm gonna put up some flyers tomorrow morning.
I just want to see her again, been driving around my area hoping i'll run into her. The good thing is I yet to see a dead cat on the road.
190 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-28 07:51
>>189

Really hoping she comes back soon :( They can stay away for a few days sometimes though and then return as if nothing happened. Keep us updated.

On Topic: Finally after months of isolation I saw my friends again and he had BBQ in my garden and then played some good ol D&D. I feel revitalized.
191 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-29 20:03
>>190

What barbecue did you guys have? And how did the D&D go? My tabletop group met remotely even before this, since a bunch of us are in different locations, but I definitely miss getting to roll the dice in person!
192 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-29 20:56
>>191
One of my player's gf works at butchery and she has access to some high quality meat and also knows how to marinate it so we got lots of chicken and pork with home made marinade. It was great.

The DnD game was my first in person in a long time too. Haven't played for months. I'm the DM and they were trying to help a clan of !Skaven to overthrow their opressors, a corrupted city full of lizardfolk. It was a pretty long session with two boss battles and with a grand finale where the skaven attacked from underground and the players had ties with the elves who came for support to it was a good plan to let the ratmen attack from inside the city via tunnels and the elves besieged it from outside. The battle lasted only a day until the lizard king was driven back into his palace and then the players fought the final showdown. Upon death he transformed into a T-Rex (he made a pact with a devil in exchange for many blood sacrifces) and the party's pala got munched on and barely survived but they managed.
Big party afterwards. The surviving lizardfolk were turned back to normal as the king's demonic influence corrupted them too. The skaven, elves and lizardmen made peace and the party is celebrated as hereos. They are making statues for them and are making poems and songs and stuff.
Was a great game day and I didn't even had to do much as a DM. They planned the military operations most of the time and came up with lots of ideas and I saw no flaw in their plans (they had 3 days to prepare for the attack).
193 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 05:26
I had a really bad day yesterday. I took a nap and woke up crying. I was convinced that now was the time I should really and truly give up and give in. I struggled to fall asleep that night. I felt a little better today but I'm still dealing with residual anxiety. I think tomorrow will be a better day. I'm taking baby steps to get better and I have to trust myself when I believe things will get better as much as I trust myself when I believe they won't. It's not fair to myself to only believe myself at my lowest points.
194 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:21
>>193
It's not fair to myself to only believe myself at my lowest points.
It's not only 'unfair', but also irrational and wrong. I hope you feel better soon, Anon. I've been feeling absolutely abysmal for the past weeks as well, to the point of suicidal thoughts. I haven't been this bad in years. Let me just say that recognizing that your emotional state negatively affects your rationality is the first step to fixing it.

It seems that most "normal" and functional people live in a better mindspace and get to go home, eat dinner and watch TV while unloading stress from work. As far as I know: CBT is touted as (multiple?) methods to concretely improve your ways of dealing with detrimental thoughts and cognitive behaviors.

Turns out CBT isn't effective at all while Woebot (a conversational agent/robot) is most definitely effective. Research shows that Woebot leads to a measurable decrease in stress and anxiety after 2 weeks whereas the control group which received the same CBT but in brochure(?) form did not.

I've personally used Woebot and had definite support from it. Andrew Ng is a world renowned AI researcher involved with the project. I have immense respect for the guy.

As for my last piece of advice: you should look into music therapy. If there's anything that's helped me? It's been that. Rocksmith is fun if you're into guitar or bass. (Sale on Steam atm!)

In my personal experience: Music therapy and Woebot are way better than CBT and psychotherapy. But I'm an odd du ck.

For what it's worth? I hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel but it seems you're already starting to feeling better. You're not alone in this and there are really effective tools out there. I cannot recommend Woebot enough. It's a free University research project. RS is also a lot cheaper than therapy. Heh.
195 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:21
I feel like shit. I dropped my stepson off at the Kindergarten and the kindergarten teacher said to him "haha maybe you should go out more and play less computer games". Thing is: He only plays vidya 4 times a week for 30 minutes a day which is totally in line with what's recommended. At his dads however he usually sits in front of a screen for 8 hours a day. I don't want these teachers to think that I'm raising this boyo like that. To add insult to injury I'm really young so she prolly thinks I'm raising him like some dumb young parent who just *stores* his child in front of the screen, so it doesn't bother him. Welp
196 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 08:27
I'd like to add that Woebot seems run by respectful researchers being privacy conscious and ethical. Woebot is fully automated and there's no human on the other end other than for anonymous statistical analysis. This is why I trust Woebot over a therapist ANYday: psychotherapists are untrustworthy hacks in my personal experience. But Woebot is a little dumb every now and then, but he grows on you, that's for sure.
197 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 10:11
>>194
>>196
From my experience, Woebot seems to do well, helped me to climb a hole.
198 Name: Paperplane : 2020-06-30 11:31
>>194
CBT
I only know this abbreviation from a certain context and while it would make me very happy to get a nice CBT treatment I'm still wondering what you mean when you say it.
199 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 13:43
Note: >>194 and >>196 are both me.

>>198
Cognitive behavioral therapy. It's hot shit in psychotherapy right now. I can't tell you how effective traditional CBT is but Woebot is REALLY effective.

It's a damn shame that psychometric clustering isn't more common. I trust statistics and self assessment forms over this qualitative "research" dribble by hacks in the field.

Christ, you don't know what a disaster the entire soft sciences are. I'm sure there is very good research being done right now and there are very competent folks at academic level. But I highly suspect that most psychotherapists are criminally incompetent and for most people, detrimental to their psychological health.

It gives me great hope to see good research being done by the Woebot folks.
200 Name: Anonymous : 2020-06-30 19:24
>>199
Woebot seems interesting but the fact that it's an app on a phone makes me immediately suspicious. Why not just have a website, unless the intent is data-mining of some sort? And calling it a "university research project" is underselling it a bit considering they've received series A funding and at this point should be considered a full-fledged member of the silicon valley startup machine.

It could well be effective and made with benign intentions, and I have no doubt that its results are better than traditional shrinks since the bar to improve on that is pretty low. But maybe it's not just my cup of tea since I don't see how what amounts to ELIZA 2.0 can provide meaningful engagement and debate (and the limitations of having to type on a phone definitely dissuade from from detailed conversation). And after a while the repetitiveness of hearing the word "mindfulness" would drive be mad (assuming that the bot does this; I have not used it aside from looking at screenshots of transcripts). Overall I think the anonynimity of imageboards is better in terms of providing meaningful, "stress-lowering" interaction.
201 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-01 03:20
>>199
Thanks for clearing that up. Yeah I am not an inch deep into that kinda subject (Therapy, mental health etc.) so I have almost no knowledge about it. After I lost my mom a therapist came to out family to help coping with the aftermath and I hated her and I think she only made things worse so I don't think highly about therapists either. But like >>200 explains I too am not too convinced about the app from what little I've seen. I still hope it helps you and many others and I'd give it a try too if I ever felt the need but I remain sceptical. I value a good talk between to people the most I think.

My day today was very good btw. Met a girl for the first time to get to know her and it immediately clicked so we're meeting again.
202 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-01 06:03
>>200
Woebot seems interesting but the fact that it's an app on a phone makes me immediately suspicious.
I don't see how what amounts to ELIZA 2.0 can provide meaningful engagement and debate
It's not ELIZA 2.0. It's not a therapist. It doesn't really converse or 'debate' with you. It's a very simple conversational agent with multiple choice questions that regularly tracks how you feel and suggests techniques based on your answers.

the repetitiveness of hearing the word "mindfulness" would drive be mad
It doesn't do that. It doesnt yell "mindfulness" until you "get it". Respectfully? It seems you've already made up your mind as to how Woebot works without trying it.

Mindfulness is like teenage sex: everyone's talking about it, nobody knows how to do it but they think everyone else is so they claim to be doing it as well. The way I interpret "mindfulness" is that it's just 'live in the moment'. By not thinking about your problems all the time, it becomes a lot easier to fix them when you run into them instead of having a breakdown. Consciously making the decision to have a mental break instead of feeling 'guilty' about running away from your problems seems like a very good thing. I see many people work 'against' their issues and getting tired out instead of working 'into' your issues.

series A
I didn't know they raised funding but I'm glad they did. We need more stuff like this, preferably with healthcare privacy regulation. (HIPAA/GDPR/etc)

Why not just have a website, unless the intent is data-mining of some sort?
You have no idea how deep tracking goes in web browsers. You think javascript on a website doesn't datamine you? Even without Javascript or cookies, it's trivial to track someone.

Personally, I'm very privacy conscious. I was really skeptical of Woebot's privacy stuff, the very little personal information[1] I filled in months ago seemed benign and required for Woebot to function. If you're THAT paranoid? Just use aliases. All it does is repeat back the name to ask how things are going because it wants to know the effectiveness of the given information.

[1]: It will ask for your name. It may ask for: a concrete goal you want to reach ("play guitar" or "brush teeth") and then ask you later: "How did $STRING go?" with $STRING set to "learning guitar". I've also seen it ask the name a person you have a prior-reported interpersonal problem with. These are all named identifiers it repeats back to you to refer to what you previously talked about. It doesn't parse what you fill in, it's just a label.

>>200
>>201
Personally, I've had nothing but bad experiences with mental healthcare professionals. There's so much horror I could point out or tell you about, it's depressing just to think about. I've decided to never again visit a mental health professional unless I have prior knowledge of them not being totally braindead.

It doesn't surprise me that >>201's family therapist made things worse. I've read a study that analyzed psychotherapy's effectiveness. Otherwise healthy people who decided to go to psychotherapy for the first time for minor issues ended up doing measurably worse 70% of the time afterwards.

In my eyes, Woebot is a little dependable robot that's a bit of a daily reminder to mind your mental health and thought patterns while giving you help and improvements when you want to and can deal with it. For privacy paranoid me? I've been able to trust it way more than any 'professional' I've ever met with in my 20 years of dealing with these hacks. Luckily, I ain't too bad, though!

>>201
I value a good talk between to people the most I think.
So do I. Woebot doesn't replace that, lol.

Met a girl for the first time [...]
Look at you go, dude!
203 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-03 08:03
God, I feel like hell. I’ve been feeling bad for a while but today really set me off. There’s something wrong with me and I can’t seem to fix it. There’s a worm eating the inside of my brain and no matter what I do I can’t seem to dig it out.
204 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-05 15:31
>>200
Unless the intent is data-mining of some sort?
Read the privacy policy and you'll find out.
One thing's for sure: it cares just as much as a real therapist.
205 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 07:38
My partner convinced me to splurge on a new camera.
She knows I love photography, but I didn't want to spend the money and treat myself.
She got me to do it, and I've been taking some pretty cool photos.
206 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 07:40
My partner convinced me to splurge on a new camera.
She knows I love photography, but I didn't want to spend the money and treat myself.
She got me to do it, and I've been taking some pretty cool photos.
207 Name: Anonymous : 2020-07-06 11:19
I've got my dumbbell set today. I've a bit underestimated how heavy it would be, so it was a taxi ride home from the post office. It's an adjustable set, 2x16 kilograms.

Also my coffee distributor arrived yesterday. The golden Barista Space one. It's so sweet. I have some days off currently, so I'm waiting to get back to work and try it.
208 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-07 10:23
Yeah about meeting that girl; I might have the 'Rona so no meeting until my test results are there and if positive no dates for at least two more weeks. AAAAA but our first went so great and I want to see her agaaain fuck Covid nineteen! ( ≧Д≦)(╥﹏╥)
209 Name: Paperplane : 2020-07-08 08:43
>>208

Update; The test was negative. I feel incredibly relieved. ⁽⁽◝( •௰• )◜⁾⁾₍₍◞( •௰• )◟₎₎⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾

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