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What Worries You?
211 replies
1256 days old
last post: Aug 1, 2021
Pages: 1-100 101-200 201-
Last 50 posts First 100 posts

What Worries You?

1 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-21 04:23
What worries you most about life? Share it here. Nobody ever goes on this site so nobody will know. Be as vague or specific as you would like.

I am worried right now that my lack of self-esteem will ultimately get the best of me. That even though I have "faked" my way to acting normal that everybody knows me for what I believe myself to be. A Failure. A Loser. Because of this all the little things get to me. Every mistake amplified. I am getting help, but I sometimes wonder if there is anything worth helping.
2 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-21 14:27
What kind of help are you getting? I have been talking to a counselor recently and, whilst fun, it doesn't actually seem to do anything beneficial. I feel just as bad now as I did when I kept it to myself/the internet
3 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-21 17:05
I'm afraid of giving up on everything new I try. I'm afraid I might end up a "jack of all trades, master of none" until I die.
4 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-21 21:17
I am recieving counseling. I will see how it goes, I don't know what to do if it wont help. I feel like I am closer to normal some days, but then I just get other days that leave me feeling like their is no hope. I feel like it is easy for me to deal with major problems and I am able to work on those problems. But then all of the little mistakes I make eat away at me.
5 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-22 07:45
My grandma dying.
6 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-23 20:50
I'm afraid of my mom dying or me dying and scarring my mom. Also afraid of never being employed and losing my friends and going full hikki.
From my experience with counseling the only advice I can give you is if you don't like the counselor find a new one and don't just give it up entirely. I've had both ends of a really understanding guy who helped a lot and someone else who was really opinionated and didn't help at all.
7 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-23 22:37
Not knowing if i like and want to be in a relationship with another person. This one has being on me for a lot of time.
More specifically this time if i want to be with a specific person who i don't know what feelings are shared for me after not comunicating for a few months.
8 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-23 23:01
The Counselor I am seeing now is really good about giving me a space where I can feel comfortable to talk. They also don't judge me, which is nice. I should be going back soon, so I hope that the sessions will help.

Tell me more. Is this person a close friend? Aquaintance? What drove you apart?
9 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-25 10:02
Between friend and acquaintance, we like to talk and stuff when we see each other. We never separated or anything, just vacation but we had this sorta date a few days before it, that's why i'm unsure of what's going on on that person's head.
10 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-25 12:09
Due to a mix of indecisiveness, anxiety and health problems I'm three years behind in uni education, starting 2nd semester when my high school friends are doing 8th and/or working. It's not like i feel pressure or shame about that, but i keep wondering whether i should do some extra work to catch up and become independent faster.
11 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-26 01:22
What worries me, perhaps not the most, but a lot, is this: I have no idea what I want to do with myself career-wise. I think about why I'm in college right now, and I come up with the following deductions:
I am in college because I want to get a degree.
I want to get a degree because I want to get a well-paying job.
I want to get a well-paying job because I want to live a comfortable life.
I want to live a comfortable life because I dread living in poverty.
I dread living in poverty because I don't want to starve, or to be killed by a criminal.

In other words, the only reason I am in college right now is to sustain my life. I read an essay by Moritz Schlick, who vividly argued that the point of life is to enjoy the content of existence. But when the content of your existence is merely the means to the sustaining of your existence, it is vacuous. Thus you ought to do things for their own sake. But I cannot honestly say that I am studying what I am studying for its own sake. I just don't enjoy it, not even in the broadest sense of the word "enjoy" which might include the joy that comes from contributing to society.

So all I know is that I want to limit as much as possible the things I do simply for the sake of survival. If I could do something that I actually enjoy in-and-of-itself and happen to get paid for it, that would be ideal. But I don't think I could convince anyone to pay me to do the sorts of things I enjoy.
12 Name: Anonymous : 2018-02-26 13:39
Realizing that every single time you actually had to choose a path in your life (education mostly) you blew it so hard it now makes impossible to find a job.

Also not being able to enjoy things you like like drawing or writing because you thing everything you produce is utter crap and there's always someone better than you.
13 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-01 04:17
I fake being an extrovert. Many people see me as a good person because of my achievements, maybe even a successful person, but inside I am corroding myself away with insecurity and useless addiction.

It's especially hard when most everyone above me views me as a competent leader and has high hopes for me and my future (this feeling, however, is not shared by my peers, who don't seem to care for me.)

On the inside I know I'm not competent, and I'm not this leader everyone thinks I am. I'm afraid my inadequacy has slowly been revealing itself to those around me, and I'm afraid some have already lost hope in me.

I've been living a duality, and as a result, I've begun to implode in on myself. I've started to push away the people in my life, and recently I've just wanted to be alone.

My work is piling up, my addictions are growing stronger, and I've never felt more lonely.
14 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-02 22:40
AI. It's gonna take jobs, then take information, then take our lives.
15 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-06 23:16
I realize that I can only feasibly achieve at most half of my goals in life.
16 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-12 18:30
I find it frightening how intertwined everyone is to the domineering Internet.
You can only begin to wonder what facets of living have been stifled in its presence.
I can only begin to wonder when I will leave its choke.
17 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-12 22:52
I'm scared of failing.
I've dropped out of college twice now after starting well the first time around, and currently every job I've applied for either ignored me or rejected me.

I'm transitioning to being seen as a woman by others and I'm scared I'm never doing enough or that I won't make it and I'll just be a chemically castrated weird for the rest of my life.
18 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-13 20:31

I'd still like to see what you've made.


I think you can overcome it if you'd like. I wonder if you think anyone has unshakable belief in you. I think that's all you really need.
19 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-13 20:35
It's mildly exciting in a way, if you have a death wish.

What are you working on?

What do you hope your future to be then?
20 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 00:04
What do you hope your future to be then?
having a degree of some kind, living comfortably in a small apartment with a decently paying job, and being seen as a sort of female by family, friends, and possibly coworkers. (though I feel bad and awkward about forcing anyone to call me anything and would love for it to come naturally)
That's what I hope my future will be like.
21 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 03:21
Why do you not see yourself as a man?
22 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 15:00
I do not know.
For some reason, being called a man and having a penis makes me feel sad. I feel intense jealousy whenever I see females and I want to be one of them.
I think it's a mental disorder or something, but it's very real to me.
Whenever my girlfriend or a family member calls me by my preferred (female) name or addresses me with 'she', I feel extremely happy and reaffirmed. Wearing make up and looking in the mirror, almost seeing a woman looking back, makes me feel the same kind of happiness.

It's weird.
23 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 15:19
I'm worried about my lack of self control. And I'm stressed by all my deadlines. But I get depressed when I'm idle, so maybe being busy is better. Hopefully I can find a healthy balance.
24 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 21:26
Could you explore this feeling of sadness a bit more? Being a man is difficult yet liberating. I don't see what there is to envy in being a woman. I find the life of a woman very delicate and sad. Helpless, almost. Stuck. Also, I think men are more beautiful.

The healthy balance probably comes from a schedule. I have yet to make one myself. But if you want control, a schedule is the place to begin. After a certain point, you have to give yourself a break. Just give yourself a proper one. That is what I've found. Do you have a plan?
25 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-14 23:39

It probably seems a bit anticlimactic, but the sadness almost seems irrational in itself.
I'll try clearing up the feelings with a metaphor: Have you ever worn an outfit or had a haircut or had excess weight, looked at yourself, and thought "This looks wrong. This isn't me"? That's sort of what I get when I look at my body in the mirror. When I look down at my naked body and focus on my penis, it's like it's not supposed to be there. Like it's a mistake.
I'm used to being addressed as a male, but it somehow feels particularly more 'correct' when someone addresses me as female.
And I'm not simply doing this because women have more clothing options, I'm purely focusing on the social aspect of others viewing me as female.

Through medication I'm currently suppressing testosterone production in my body and replacing it with estrogen, and that has caused my muscles to decrease in strength. I do feel weaker, more fragile. It does somewhat scare me to be in this vulnerable position - and maybe it's the mental disorder aspect - but I feel like it's worth it.
Let it be very clear though that is not some perverted fantasy of mine to be a weak girl. I do exercises to retain my muscles since I do not want to be frail.

All this being said, I have no idea what the life of a normal woman is like. I am not socialized like that nor did I experience growing up like that. I could be romanticizing my future too much, but for some reason I still prefer being a weird freak of nature to being a regular man. Admittedly, I sometimes doubt myself and ask myself what I'm really doing to myself, but all of my other feelings (both good and sad) reaffirm for myself that this is the life I want in the end.

Men do have a certain beauty to them, I agree.
Personally though, I have always found feminine men the most attractive.
26 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-15 02:02
I get that feeling all the time. Need more exercise to get to a point where I'm satisfied.

I think you should be more informed on the sorrows women experience before you romanticize it too much. If you are too far in your suppression of testosterone then there is no use creating more doubt. I hope it works out for you. If I were ever to transition, I would make sure to fully take in the repercussions. Again, I do not want to create unnecessary doubt if all is done already, but if there is still a gap of time for you to understand that normal life of a woman, I think it would be very eye-opening. It may reaffirm your choice in the end as well. No use having a foggy future, even if you think the life of a woman and the life you will have will never intersect. It will at least illuminate some aspects of a different body/hormonal make up.
27 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-15 04:53
I got into the habit of not making plans because I didn't want to end up failing them and being disappointed. Not sure if it's helped much.
28 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-15 07:49
Well, you would be a lot more satisfied with the conclusion of plans than this fugue state. We can plan something together if you'd like.
29 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-09 03:54
I'm worried that peaceful industrial society may be reaching its breaking point--that we could be looking at either collapse or dystopia in the near future. I'm legitimately a little scared for the future.
30 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-22 05:08
This site going 404.
31 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-22 08:24
Yeah, I freak out every time it goes down. So far, it always comes back.
32 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-23 21:38
I'm afraid of becoming a NEET. At the moment I'm a student, and lately it feels like my ability to concentrate and motivate myself has diminished significantly compared to when I first started this year. I experienced the same thing last year, and I figured I would simply recuperate over the break, but when my classes started I feel like the break barely made any difference. I think I'm going to make it through this year, but next year I'm seriously worried that I'll burn out for good.
33 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-24 02:56
Ha. You feel for the school meme.
Oh well. Don't worry. Lots of millennials have un-dischargeable debt they owe to the Fed. You are not alone.

Too bad you didn't do, like, anything else.
Remember that dropping out isn't always the worst thing you could do. You might find something that you've always had a passion for and wamjam a way to make an honest living off of that.

You know. If the public schooling you received didn't beat the wonder and imagination out of you.

Pro Tip: Enter civilian contracting with the military in any work or any field. Almost all the benefits of public sector work with some of the private sector benefits too.
34 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-24 05:28
my sweet gay ass
35 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-26 09:24
Could you explain what the school meme is?
36 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-26 19:42
Getting old. these past fast few days i've been looking back these past 20 years, damn have they flown by. Music sort of still feels the same but there's been an obvious decline since 2007. TV had a giant decline, there hasn't been a really great show in over 5 years (well at most ive seen). Also, aging in general, looking at people around me getting older is really terrifying because it makes me realize we don't have much time and not that much happens in a good 80-100 years
37 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-27 08:44
Strongly recommend you to read "On the shortness of life" by Seneca. It's about an hour to hour and the half read, and this could very possibly be the best investment of hour and half worth of time in your life.
"Walden" by Thoreau is also recommended.
38 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-27 14:49
Never forget the man who raised $55k to make a potato salad on kickstarter. If presented right, you can get people to pay you for anything.
39 Name: Anonymous : 2018-04-28 20:18
It's simple. The boomers went to college because Their folks went to college on the greatest GI bill to ever exist. It worked for both of them so they told their kids and now you got to hear the same story. But only a part of it. In post war America only servicemen and serious studious types went to university. Basically whites. Males mostly.

Over the decades due to social pressures from the hippy dippy crowd in the States you get a market looking for a way to discern between qualified workers and the rest while not being able to use simple IQ tests to get a quick gauge on the matter. So the next best thing corps and local business could do was require a two year degree instead (the fed couldn't define that as racial discrimination). Then once you get past Gen X you've got all sorts of silly programs and quotas to get any minority into a university while simultaneously tying to get as many Americans into them for them sweet profits.

Both cheapen and devalue the two year degrees. Too many people had them and a good number of those holders were still not able to preform. The solution? Four year degrees would now serve many an industry standard moving forward. Too expensive? Ask the fed for a loan. This is where we are now and have been for a while. The next bit is going to get worse.

With ever increasing calls on the fed to assist in payment or outright forgive a majority if not all college debts there can only be one outcome. Take a guess. It's similar to hyperinflation expect the paper in question isn't bills. It's diplomas.

The meme is simply that accreditation will always hold value and is a safe investment no matter what. Which isn't the case by a long shot.
40 Name: Anonymous : 2018-05-12 02:15
My main worry right now is that I will blow by another 5 years without much to show for it. It's why I was so obsessed with hobbies for a few years. I wanted to find my niche that I could spend my time on.and cultivate so that I could have something outside of work and school that I could say with legitimacy that I did of my own volition, my own direction, and my own desire.
41 Name: Anonymous : 2018-05-12 08:37
I think the best thing is to do what makes you happy and try to take care of yourself. Don't worry about being "successful" or "legitimate."
What does anybody really have to show for five years of life?
42 Name: Anonymous : 2018-05-12 18:25
It's not about having something to show to others, it's about having something to show for yourself. Time is the most valuable resource any of us has, and nobody likes the feeling that they are wasting their time away.
43 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-02 21:40
Nazism making a comeback in America. Drumpf, Nazi in Chief, is encouraging fascist uprisings in this country.
44 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-04 16:25
Hey, this is my worry too. Everyone else seems to have been in a band, or know an exotic language, or spent a year in a foreign country.

Now, since I'm getting older, I'm looking back and realising I've only ever really been good at my job and played a lot of videogames.

I can't even swim, or ride a bike. I'm the antithesis of the famous quote from Heinlein:

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."
45 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-04 17:53
One of the main things that worry me ironically enough is failing and hurting my parents. Like I'm a fuck up in life yeah. Flunked out of uni twice, rather do my hobby than put effort in to anything, not really caring about stuff, and so on. My dad thinks I'm a good boy who never smoked weed nor had sex, which I did then stopped weed because I got fucked up and almost died, or at least I died. Which I keep that illusion up for him so he has some comfort, I don't know why I do even though I hardly saw him for most my life (millitary and parents divorced). My mom knows of the sex weed and stuff, but she thinks I just fucked up for the semester.
What my parents don't know is that I'm lost and honestly alive because I'm scared of what dying is like (like what the afterlife is like, what it feels like and hurting them).
This is ironic because I came to grips that I hate my living conditions and being around my mom and stepdad. I love them, yeah. But living with an abusive parent (mentally and emotionally) and realizing that's the environment I lived in is pretty fucking nuts. Is the abuse intentional? I don't know, I think it's just one of those "I don't really know what I'm doing things" I don't know. Also, alcoholism. Which led to the only physical abuse when I was 16-17 years old and made me swear off alcohol. Does she know that's why I don't drink? No, it's one of those things I hide from here to keep her feeling better.

Which in transition, all the other stuff that worries me: not getting to a different school and being able to live there and away from my family/ not getting any use of the five years of college I put in/ not finishing school at all/being more likely than I am/ snapping and becoming a violent person/ being lonely/ finding what love is/ failing at love/ actually fucking dying/ and being happy. Like holy shit! I want to be Happy, but I'm scared of it because I hardly had true happiness in a long time and I don't know if I can handle it/ being diagnosed with whatever mental illness I have lingering in my head, I know I'm sick, I just don't want a diagnosis./ Being hurt, physically/ getting sick/ life goes the way I want it,and all these people who cast me off as a reject starts to come back to my life/ being homeless, which around this time found out I might be because someone thinks I'm disrespectful and blah blah blah/ being back in that dark place I was in December where I had a plan (should be obvious what kind) because I was kicked out and threatened to be homeless if I wasn't in school, and the only person who I felt good talking too (and also grew to love) was avoiding me because they had their own issues, (which me telling them that led to that friendship being killed off). In that dark place, I got a full grasp of what it means to be close to rock bottom and hated it even though being down there for so long (a month) grew to be comforting and now I'm kinda fucked up more than I was a year ago./ And the less heavy shit, going out and about with life and seeing a spider(s).
46 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-04 18:04
I don't think I can offer you any good advice, except to keep trying despite how difficult it might seem. A lot of what you wrote is relatable and I think you'll find that your situation is more common than you might think. People pretend that everything is fine on social media, but a lot of young people are in bad situations.
47 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-04 18:12
Thanks Anon, just having someone/where to vent helps alot. Because honestly, if I didn't find this place I probably would have just kept all that with me and not have a place to put it. Because of that whole façad thing that people in my generation and the next has to do to go by.
48 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 02:35
This place going 404. Had some downtime yesterday and I couldn't quite focus at work - I was honestly worried for this place. It's good to see the place back again.
49 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 04:19
I can make another site similar to this, in case this (or the other scatted textboards) go down.
50 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 07:31
I'm worried about the future of the Web: I'm sure that subcultures will continue to be marginalized to the point of extinction by large, profit-seeking companies.
51 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 10:18
afternoon.dynu.com going down permanently.

I'd miss this place a lot.
52 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 11:46
It's probably a matter of time; all we can do is stubbornly refuse to socialize on corporate platforms and agitate for the kind of Web we want.
Let's enjoy what we have and keep fighting the good fight.

I freak out a little bit every time I come here and the page doesn't load. I've been here for years now and the Letterbox is a part of my life.
53 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 17:38
refuse to socialize on corporate platforms
Career suicide. You need a public social media presence on Facebook/Twitter/GitHub/LinkedIn/etc. Whether you like it or not, you need to. Otherwise, you simply won't get hired.

But that being said, you just use those platforms to maintain a socially-acceptable, tame/boring facade rather than your real personality.
54 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-06 23:04
I've never used Facebook in my life, but I still have a job. Then again, I work in a kitchen. It may be different in the food industry.
55 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-08 13:58
I only have Github out of these but during the interview it became clear that they didn't even look at it or care about it. There's barely anything on it so it's no loss but I'm pretty sure that having it in the fist place had no impact on their decision to hire me.
56 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-09 00:25
I worry that I won't be successful. I worry about homelessness.

I used to be an agoraphobic NEET, used to be addicted to drugs, was even homeless for a short time, but now I'm a college student and none of those things are problems for me anymore (I reached out for help or just helped myself overcome those issues). It wasn't easy, but I'm better now. But nowhere near where I want to be.

I am worried about employment opportunities. I sort of do freelancing now, but it isn't enough. There are gaps in my resume and that really worries me. This week, I am going to meet with my university's disability office to see if there are any jobs on campus that would be suitable for someone like me (socially awkward and anxious). Something stable, not just freelancing.

I also don't have any sort of insurance, so when I'm sick or injured, I can't do anything about it. I have health issues that need treating, but I can't afford to get them fixed.

I am trying to do what I can to succeed. For example, I recently made some new friends, and I go out with them to eat and drink. They think I'm quiet, but I'm much more talkative than I used to be. And even if I'm the quietest or least social person in my group, the fact of the matter is that I'm going out with friends multiple times per week now. Something I didn't used to do. And my old friends used drugs, but my new friends don't. We hang out a lot now. My friends all have jobs and I do freelancing and take classes year-round, so it can be difficult to coordinate with all our different schedules, but we make it work anyway.

I also work out with my friend. He's my best friend, but I don't know if I'm his best friend. He has more friends than me. But anyway, I am also joining a group therapy thing, I'm working on group software development projects, and I'm in a big extracurricular group at my university.

Of course, despite coming all this way, my family still doesn't think it's enough. They want to pretend that everyone else my age is super successful and I'm just an anomaly.

Oh, and even though I'm not welcome to spend the holidays with my family, my current best friend said I can spend the holidays with his family now. So that's nice.

So I'm doing the best that I can -- working out, looking for a new job, meeting new people (friends and professional networking), doing freelance gigs on the side, going to college classes and doing my homework, going to therapy, reading more, and not giving in to old habits like drugs or isolation.

But I don't know if I can manage everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to collapse under all this responsibility and stress and anxiety. Sometimes I think I won't make it in my field of study because it's very competitive. Maybe I'll just work in retail or something for the rest of my life instead of something related to my major. Maybe my poor social skills will put people off during interviews.

And no matter what, my family will always be disappointed. They dislike me. Some of my family even hates me. We're hardly family.

When I hung out with my friend and his family, they were very talkative and nice to each other. He commented on me being quiet, because that's not normal to him. When I lived with my family, it was normal for people to ignore me (and each other) and never talk to me except to berate me. So it's weird seeing more well-adjusted relatives getting along.

I hope I can survive college and get a good job and keep everything together. But some days I don't think I can. Life is really hard. This was a long rant, but oh well.
57 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-09 01:13
Reading your post makes me feel hopeful. I am currently struggling with similar issues, namely isolation and drug abuse. That you were able to make a complete change in lifestyle is very impressive and I think it bodes well for your future, if I were a betting man I'd bet on your success. You should be very proud of yourself. It's unfortunate that your family is like that, I think you deserve better. Best of luck to you anonymous.
58 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-09 02:16
Do your friends/coworkers/family members use drugs? That can make it harder to get clean. I actually cut off contact with people in order to get sober.
59 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-10 15:38
I hope it doesn't. I just found this place the other day and I really dig it. It feels comfy, and way more chill than other places.
60 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-10 20:49
Comfy, but there aren't very many posts here. It'd be cool if it was more active.
61 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-11 15:15
I agree.
62 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-11 17:09
I check this place twice a week, for that post office aesthetic. And whether slow or fast, it's quite alright with me.
63 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-15 02:38
What worries me is that I'll never find a tribe to fit into.

I'm lonely.
64 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-15 15:36

I was in that same boat. I started going to larp groups and just hanging out there. somehow being in a group of people who are seemed as outcasts helps build a better sense of community. Finding those groups however, might be a burden, but just go on facebook or just google some and you'll find one eventually.

(sorry if this is kinda shit advice)
65 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-15 19:56
it also sucks to be in a group that you know you don't fit in with, but you're a part of it anyway because you don't have any other group to be a part of

but you secretly despise them

that's my predicament
66 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-17 22:50
My panic attacks mimics stroke symptons. So my biggest fear is having a stroke and become a prisoner of my own body, not actually dying, but losing what I value the most: my mind, or, the ability of expressing it.
I'm a developer so my brain and my hands are pretty much my livelihood, which is corny.

I used to mess around with cocaine during my weekend drinking binges, which I stopped when it fucked my anxiety up too. Never do stimulants, people.
67 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-18 18:38
I always thought something about me was amiss but getting a clinical veredict about it added a totally new layer of worry to it, I live in a quite unsafe area as of now but getting a medical record that says that I am a mentally broken individual will mean that the hazards become even more dangerous, I could literally be killed and people will simply shrug it off as a something that happens to crazies.
68 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-19 07:48
people will simply shrug it off as a something that happens to crazies
How would they know? Are you going around parading your health issues?
69 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-19 22:05

I live with relatives that don't know about the concept of private affairs, they love to talk about everything.
70 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-20 00:28
move out then
71 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-20 03:38
Riggity riggity rekt.
72 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-24 05:56
honestly, after starting medication for anxiety, I generally have few worries. I think the biggest one for me though is that I'll spend the remainder of my life in this small city, not doing anything of value or worth. but overall I'm thinking that it's more important to do what makes me happy.
73 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-24 11:56
how small is your "small city"?
74 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-24 15:22
small enough that I can bike across the entirety of the metro area in about 25mins. it's a kind of insular place, a bit removed.
75 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-24 21:30
No, I mean population-wise.
76 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-30 21:21
I have serious anger-management problems and I worry that I'll seriously injure someone I really care about in a fit of rage.
77 Name: Anonymous : 2018-07-31 00:06
Do you lift weights? I find lifting to be a great way to relieve stress.
78 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-15 01:49
When I was a kid, I had a friend named ‘G’. ‘G’ was the first person I met when I moved to the new city, and that was comforting because I came into school at 5th grade, when it felt like all of my classmates already knew each other. ‘G’ and I lived across the street, so we hung out a lot. I was an outcast as a kid and bullied a lot, but ‘G’ and I were best friends.

When I think back to the kind of kid I was, I’m not surprised I didn’t have many friends. I was definitely strange. Nonetheless, the few I had were precious to me. ‘G’’s parents had a troubled relationship. I don’t actually know the details, but I know that his mom was not a very good person. They became separated. Years later I would start to understand how that changed him, but when I was a kid all I saw was that one day ‘G’ didn’t want to talk to me any more… Even when I tried to talk to him, with as much emotional intelligence as a 9th grader could have, he would simply ignore me. Even our mutual friends comforted me and let me know that there was no way ‘G’ didn’t want to be friends with me, because we were so close. That was a week past the last time he and I ever talked as anything more than people who had known each other a long time ago.

As a kid, it was frustrating and confusing. It broke my heart to know I had lost someone I had been friends with for years in what felt like a flash. There was no straw that broke the camel’s back, it just happened. I remember he and I got into a fight after the transition had begun, I don’t know where the aggression had come from. Sometimes I wonder if it was him being unable to cope with the separation of his parents, but a large part of me has always felt that it was me. That somehow there was some fault with who I am as a person that lost me my best friend.

I’ve had other incredible friendships, ‘T’ being an instance of a friend who I did keep since 5th grade, and who I still regularly talk to… But sometimes I try to find ‘G’ somewhere out there and there is never anything to be found. He’s gone to Washington last time I had asked his dad, and he’s not on any social media.
79 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-15 01:50
‘S’ is a friend I have had since 9th grade. When I look back at our friendship, it’s weird and I feel like I lack some sort of perspective. She has called me her best friend, told me I’ve saved her life, but now it feels like she is a complete stranger. It feels like ‘G’.

For some backstory, I have been friends with ‘S’ through so many tribulations in her life. Times where she’s faced eating disorders, times where she’s been with partners who were cruel to her, and times where she has been depressed. I’ve always helped her through those times because when she was young, she would always take my advice and it made me feel good. It felt good to help people, and through my life ever since I was a teenager I’ve loved to help people. There are some people who you want to help, who you will see in pain, but who will not take a person’s advice and not look at their life from a rational perspective. As a friend of one of these people, it’s difficult to watch and sometimes the choice needs to be made whether or not to stick by them and observe, or to simply abandon them.

Observing someone in pain isn’t easy, but it’s also not necessarily painful to the observer either. If you feel that a person is not in any imminent danger, and that they will pull through, sometimes you know you have to be there in the aftermath to help pick them up. Sometimes it’s harder than that though, and sometimes you end up being hurt because every time you want to put your hope and faith into them and expect them to change, you see them fall back down again. Sometimes people can’t accept help being picked up. These are the moments when it is difficult to observe someone you care about in pain or trouble. Enough of these moments can cause a person to question whether or not it’s a lost cause. This is the situation that I am in.

A year last year, ‘S’ visited my state for the first time. It was an incredible visit and we had a blast. Afterwards, we reminisced on our friendship of 9 years at the time, and planned for a next visit. We talked almost daily. Shortly after, we stopped talking regularly. This wasn’t odd, because ‘S’ and I haven’t always talked regularly. The comfort was knowing that when she needed help, I was there for her, and though I didn’t often ask for help, I felt I could count on her.
80 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-15 01:50
That November, I went to a wedding of a friend, and at some point ‘S’ and I were talking. She had mentioned that she had just started dating another guy after breaking up with Andre (again). I was inebriated, so I had no restraint in telling her that it was a bad idea to rebound so quickly after a 3 year relationship. She said something to the effect of “are you jealous,” which made me very angry. It felt like she thought it was a game. I was there for her after every breakup, I was trying to help her find stability, but she just wanted to flirt.
Shortly into the next calendar year, I observed that ‘S’ was slipping into what I can only assume was an alcoholism-related spiral. At this moment, it’s hard to remember exactly what made me suspicious, but it was later confirmed by her. I was of course very hurt to hear that someone I cared about was suffering from something that I have personally observed tear through my father’s side of my family. She had told me that she planned on working on it, and that it was over. She felt like she had made an ass of herself and apologized. I was sad, but hopeful that she would pull through.
The next time I worried that ‘S’ was in trouble came at an inconvenient time, though it feels selfish to call it inconvenient even when I know the circumstances. I had just been dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years, and needed someone to talk to. ‘S’ had known me and my girlfriend, and though I have many friends who I spend time with, ‘S’ was the only person I felt comfortable bearing my soul to. During the days leading up to it, she was somewhat responsive. In the aftermath, she was almost unreachable. I kept waiting for a response. I was so miserable, and I needed to talk to someone, but as I kept looking through all of my contacts, ‘S’’s name was the only one I saw who I felt I could really talk to. Other friends were either too close to the situation, or people I didn’t really share my feelings with. I needed someone I considered a true friend.

Eventually I gave up on hearing anything substantial from ‘S’. I’d message her sometime in the morning, and she would message me the next day at 4 AM after I’d gone to sleep, and that would be a daily routine. It seemed like I was a nuisance. Eventually I opened myself up to my other friends, and luckily I was accepted with warmth and genuine concern. Sometime later ‘S’ and I had a somewhat substantial conversation, but I don’t credit her with helping me through the breakup. Somehow, it feels like it made it worse.

During the whole incident, ‘S’ opened up to me and said that she had gone back to drinking recklessly again. She told me that she felt guilty about telling me when she is in these situations, because I worry. It worries me more now when I think that she just never tells me anything. She told me she realized her mistake, and that she was going to stop drinking for a while (a week). I think it should have been much longer. She went her week (I assume), and then went back into the drinking. She hasn’t told me personally that she’s drinking often again, but I often see her post images of her drinking out with friends. I can’t stop her from making these choices, and clearly she doesn’t want me to bug her about it.
81 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-15 01:51
I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I can’t help her with her problems, but I also feel sad because I realize I’m losing my friend and I don’t know what to do. Maybe she doesn’t have a problem. Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk to me and has made new friends. Maybe I’m annoying to her now. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case, considering there are many people who dislike me. Maybe she just doesn’t consider me that good of a friend to her any more. I don’t know, and that’s what hurts.

Every time I try to reach out to ‘S’, she seems so fucking hard to contact. It’s the same fucking bullshit over and over again. She never responds, even though she gets online. She fucking ends her messages with shit like “love,” “babe,” and “dear,” as if she’s fucking cute. It’s not cute. She’s being a shitty fucking friend and then trying to act cute and innocent.
When I visited my friend ‘L’ at his new city i, I got drunk and somehow by some fucking miracle she actually wanted to talk. She said she wanted to have a “skype date,” which I had wanted as well. I wanted to catch up with my friend and actually have a conversation. I wanted to actually hear what was happening in her life and try to figure out why she’s been so cold and distant lately. 3 times I tried to arrange it, and 3 times she cancelled.

Tonight was the last time, and it didn’t even shock me. She bailed on me, and I simply said, “sucks.” I’m not fucking surprised that she did it. It was difficult enough to get her to give me a time. The icing on the cake was when I checked snapchat and saw that just an hour before she was out drinking again. If her drinking is more important than our friendship, then she can go get fucked. I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with the loss of a friend. The feeling of guilt and confusion of losing someone I care about for reasons beyond my understanding. The depression of thinking that I’m the reason, that somehow I could have done something differently and still had that friendship. The lifetime of doubt and regret of knowing that I lost someone important to me.

Thoughts of ‘G’ plagued my adolescence, it was a hard pill to swallow. Sometimes I would dream that we were still friends, and that somehow we would make amends. He left without an explanation, I’m not going to sit around and just let this “friendship,” die in a whimper while ‘S’ fucks her life up. It may as well just be over. I don’t know if I even want to go to Toronto. I don’t know if I want to see her.

Part of me wants to give her a chance, maybe she’s in trouble or pain. Maybe she’s too ashamed to come to me with her problems. Maybe I was too judgmental of her in the past. Or maybe she’s just a shitty friend.
82 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-17 22:28
I'm quite worried about starting college in a place where I know literally nobody. I'm almost ready but still feeling very anxious. I'm excited as well for the freedom and the environment where the school is, but the idea of starting all the way over in making friends is daunting

I hope I dont end up becoming a hermit
83 Name: z : 2018-08-17 22:29
I'm quite worried about starting college in a place where I know literally nobody. I'm almost ready but still feeling very anxious. I'm excited as well for the freedom and the environment where the school is, but the idea of starting all the way over in making friends is daunting

I hope I dont end up becoming a hermit
84 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-18 20:01
I understand this worry, and when I started college I had to make a choice like that. I ended up going to a college where I did know people, and honestly none of those people are my friends now. No matter what, you're going to meet new people, and you may not keep the people you had in your life from high school. Going to school with people you know is a good vehicle to meet new people so you don't feel alone, but you should go to clubs that interest you and campus events to meet friends.

Don't be afraid to just walk up to people and introduce yourself. You may be surprised with the connections you make.
85 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-20 13:57
Additionally, through your college years you'll soon realize that most of your endeavors and time ought to be spent by yourself. Emphasis on friendships, societal standing, etc. is indicative of a deficiency within yourself. I mean, friendships in themselves are a bit funny. You try to move them into the other stuff you pile up through the day and yet the day still either passes slowly or too quickly for you to notice what happened. Sure, you get friends, or you don't. Does it really change anything in the quiet hours - the hours that dominate the clock? I find it doesn't answer anything at all. The wrong friends are just a ploy for your time to be deleted.
Then you'll shuffle through the personalities of those you meet, then shuffle through yourself, and then only come to realize that it doesn't fix anything at all unless you're by yourself.
You eventually hope for the time to pass - I guess there's not much commentary to be had.
86 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-20 22:51
Don't listen to this anon, they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. The friendships you make during college can be extremely fulfilling, especially since you can easily find people who are passionate about the same things that you are. This anon is very jaded for some reason.
87 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-20 23:00
That 4taba will never come back ;_;
88 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-21 07:59
4taba was ded anyway.
89 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-21 13:57
'4taba is kill'
90 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-23 15:18
4taba seems to 404 fairly often... what could be going on in the server room?
91 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-23 16:38
92 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-23 22:36
I have really serious issues but no one to talk to about it. I don't think I'm gonna make it.
93 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-24 10:48
You have us to talk to. Don't be shy, all your friends are here.
94 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-28 23:23
That's one of the reasons why I'm worried about accidentally injuring someone I care about. I took up weightlifting to deal with severe depression and the gains have been quite visible over the last three years.
95 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-30 19:00
I'm going to a counselor today for an evaluation appointment. I found a place that helps people who don't have insurance, so I can actually afford to go. My mental health has been steadily declining lately and I need help before my life completely falls apart. I'm just worried that this place won't actually be able to help.
96 Name: Anonymous : 2018-08-30 22:45
That seems tough, anon. Hope you get better soon, I'll be cheering for you!
97 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-05 21:42
I've been faking it until I made it for the last 15 years. And the day is coming that this facade will come crashing down. I just wanted to be something I'll never truly be; to be happy.
98 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-07 02:27
Deleted facebook because it made me unhappy, but also in a sort of attention-seeking way, hoping maybe some people would text me about it or something. All it's done is made me more depressed because nobody has contacted me at all. So much for facebook "friends." We used to be close and hung out in person and stuff, but then I grew distant from my group of friends. And since then, we've only been online friends, and they ignored me most of the time anyway. I just worry that I won't be able to make new friends. I only have basically one friend who is a real/non-social media friend.
99 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-07 05:12
I've never used Faceook, but it's been pretty weird, over the last decade or so, seeing it become the focal point of (apparently) most people's relationships.
I sometimes feel sort of isolated because I don't use social media, but at the same time it seems so superficial.
100 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-07 14:19
I am so angry right now, all i have been feeling these days is stress, nervousness and angriness; towards myself and other for different reasons.
It is so frustating to be the only person around who wants to act, even worse when acting alone hampers the process.
I will act alone and probably fail because of it but doing nothing will just maintain the staus quo, this makes me depressed too.
It is so sad to be agry at yourself for trusting the people you should trust.
It is so hurting that the people you should trust are not worth of the credit deposited in them.
It is so bitter to know that you would have already acted a long time ago but didn't because you are accustomed to being listless around those people.
I wish i could be coherent and be the same person i am at the best of myself; i am not.
All i feel is sadness right now; it started as anger, maybe that is a good thing, maybe. I don't know anymore.
The future will bring me even more of those feelings, the future will be bad for me, how long will it last? I don't know either but at least i will act and will put the end of cyle of trusting those people when i know it will only hurt me.
I don't think the fact that i cannot trust them will ever stop being painful, still i will feel less pain this way.
I feel happy and confused because of that happiness right now.
I believe i can advise you on this: Break the chains, open the door, release yourself from the horse mill if you are locked to it. Be by the way of Plato or Crowley or your own way, it doesn't matter because freedom is the reward.
Have a great day even if you seem unable to.
101 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-28 15:47
Old age, and the decay that comes with it. Just dying would be simpler.
102 Name: Anonymous : 2018-09-28 15:48
Old age, and the decay that comes with it. Just dying would be simpler.
103 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-05 20:26
I have health anxiety, currently I worry I am having a stroke or hearth attack quite often. Also I worry that I will be unemployable once I graduate university and I worry that I will be lonely forever.
104 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-06 17:26
that's why you look for internships and jobs before you graduate, and also make a website and build up a portfolio

even if you can't find a 9 to 5, do volunteering, like at a soup kitchen, and you can freelance on sites like fiverr, and make some stuff that you can put on your site
105 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-06 21:59
I think the main problem is I don't want a 9 to 5 at all and am trying to persue a career where I am my own boss in a creative industry. However if that falls through I wasn't clever enough as a youth to think out a backup plan so who knows what's going to happen.
106 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-11 19:06
I'm madly in love with my flatmate. I've never wanted to know a person so much as her - I want to know her thoughts, her feelings, everything that goes on in her head. Just being around her makes me so happy. She's been incredibly kind and caring to me, in a way that no one else ever has...I even let her know how I feel. It's not mutual, but I never really expected it to be. I don't even mind.

She's moving abroad. On the one hand, I know that it's what she wants and I'm happy for her, but on the other hand the thought of never seeing her again absolutely kills me. I've never met anyone like her, and I don't want to lose her
107 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-23 06:15
Another site I regularly went to since 2008 has closed its doors without warning, perhaps forever. I managed to save some good content off it, though.

Why wont websites last forever? This sucks.
108 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-24 06:22
I try to keep a positive facade when I'm on the internet, but inside I'm roiling in ever-worsening waves of depression. Somedays I worry that I might succumb to this feeling of despair.
109 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-24 14:21
Which site?
110 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-24 19:10
Sounds like a time to turn off the modem for awhile.
111 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-24 19:13
My doggy's getting rather old. I've been regretting the lack of time I've spent with her when she had her youth. She's not the only one I'm worried about- my parents are rapidly deteriorating, and my girlfriend's been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in her 20s.

The days pass by, and time only seems to run faster and faster. It's scary.
112 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-25 12:23
Every night, I look outside and I only see a handful of stars (if I'm lucky)
It makes a bit anxious. I know there's supposed to be more of them out there and our artificial lighting is polluting my vision to the point where barely any of them are visible.
Why it worries me, I'm not quite sure. Maybe the fact that I can't see something that people have looked up to for thousands of years and despite the stars still being there, I have no possibility to see them. It feels so wrong.

Maybe my life is just too meaningless that I worry about these kind of things, I dunno anymore.
113 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-28 17:49
I really don't know who I am or what kind of person I want to be, or even what I really like. Things are technically going well for me- I've already accepted a high paying job and have graduated with practically no debt (a miracle in my country), I have a large group of friends I can hang out with, but I still feel unfulfilled. I'm not really sure how to express myself, or how to find (and hold on to) people with similar interests.

I guess I feel like I haven't found my calling? Or that even though I'm surrounded by good things, these things are more "outer" than "inner". But on the other hand, I feel like this could be a "grass is greener" scenario where I don't really see how good things are for me.

I just feel a bit like a fraud, and that my heart isn't really into anything. I'm still young but I don't know if I'll feel satisfied, fulfilled, or even "myself" until I've wasted it.
114 Name: Anonymous : 2018-10-28 22:10
Self introspection becomes a farce if you continually try to define yourself. There may be consistencies between who you were and who you are now, but challenges often spawn a new part of you that did not previously exist, or reinforces previous conceptions until they're no longer what they were.

The only calling you need is a calling to serve yourself.
115 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-21 18:23
Losing the will to live.
Harming someone you care about.
The urge to end this world keeps becoming stronger.
116 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-22 19:43
I want to give everyone in this thread a hug.
117 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-23 22:22
I have no idea what to do with my life, nor how to begin thinking about it. I worked very hard (and got lucky), eventually accumulating enough capital to never need to work again. But my life is aimless. The friends I once had have all forged their own paths and become distant, starting families, businesses, adventures, and I am stuck in a constant state of analysis paralysis over what I should be doing. A world of endless opportunity but I cannot find my place within it. Money does not buy happiness, or meaningful relationships, or fulfilment.
118 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-23 23:35
With money like that, have you tried traveling? It'd probably do wonders if you're stuck in a rut.

You say that you are confused as to what you want to do, but the money you have allows for a lot. Consider starting a non-profit organization or something, or working on some personal project that pertains to your interests. Or try and meet someone and start a family. As long as you start doing something, anything, the happiness and fulfillment will come. Just don't grow stagnant and do nothing.
119 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-24 08:22
2 weeks ago I finally started talking to a girl I was in love for half a year. We discovered that we live in nearby apartment blocks (she moved there a month ago) on the way from the work and started chatting about it. She almost immediately gave me her phone number by herself to send me the list of books she was trying to give away and the same evening I went to her place to pick one of them and chat a bit. The next day we went to our workplace together, I also came up with some excuse to meet her again in the evening and this time we talked for almost an hour. We smiled and laughed a lot and it was surprisingly comfortable. Then she left to her hometown on a vacation for 2 weeks and the last week we chatted 2-3 times per day almost daily. She sent me photos and described her days there and she was very warm to me.
The conclusion to all this was yesterday when during on of our conversation she mentioned that she has a boyfriend. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even process this information.
The thing is I was 100% sure that she knew that I like her before this (later when I confronted her I mentioned it and she didn't deny it). So to me it's incomprehensible how someone can think that it's a good idea to toy with other person's feelings like that. I spoke with 2 other girls about it, and one of them said something in lines "us girls, huh:)" and the other one also didn't see anything wrong in situation and said that she just wanted to be friends with me.
120 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-25 02:11
what part of that was toying with your feelings...?
121 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-25 04:37
The part when she mentioned being in relationship on 10th day of frequent communication with a person who's clearly interested in her. It was related to changing her apartment, so she could easily tell me that even on the first day. Or you know, not giving me her number in the first place.
122 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-25 19:42
Worrying is like praying for what you \emph{don't} want.
123 Name: Paperplane : 2019-03-28 07:20
Becoming a father. My girlfriend stopped taking the contraception pills and I really don't feel fit to be a dad yet. We could afford and manage it in theory, but I still want to travel the wolrd and "live" a little before having to bear the huge responsibility of raising a child.
Don't get me wrong, I really want to have a child or two, just not right now.
124 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-28 09:53
It makes a bit anxious. I know there's supposed to be more of them out there and our artificial lighting is polluting my vision to the point where barely any of them are visible.
I know the feel. I remember going to a friend out in the country, and where he lived you could see so many stars! I had a big reaction to seeing so many for the first time, so I don't think it's meaningless to care.
You can like whatever you want, anon. You linking your life being 'meaningless' to you liking this is a fallacy and a very dark way of looking at things.
125 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-28 15:58
That I won't end up doing anything with my life. I always did really well academically without having to try, so I've always had really high hopes for myself, but now I'm starting to realize there is a lot more to life than school prepares you for, and I don't know how to gain those skills
126 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-19 05:32
I just learned that invisionfree is gone. I feel a profound sense of emptiness. I grieve for now, but I will try to move on. What I worry for is what will come next. What else will vanish next?
127 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-21 02:16
My grades.
I'm nearly 30 and coming to terms with the fact that I might just be dumb.
128 Name: Paperplane : 2019-04-21 07:08
I realised when I attended university. Not in America of course. Where I live University is very rough. I always had very good grades without any effort. Never needed to study. This gave me a false sense of superiority.
University sent me to rock bottom. I was barely passing tests and since I never had a need to self discipline, studying was just a very complicated thing for me to do. I barely graduated but with the degree I have, no one cares about how you got it, just that you got it so I'm fine.
But seeing people easily getting good grades on all these exams made me realize just how ordinary I am. I guess leaving that teenage view of self centredness behind you is part of growing up.
129 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-26 08:32
tfw for me it's the polar opposite because no matter how much I try, I'll always get grades around 5,6, or 7/10 since I have a few developmental disorders and a one learning disorder
People are always impressed by my discipline and how much i do my best, but my grades never show it. It's very frustrating and I wish I could - if only for a week - feel what it's like to not have to put my heart and soul into studying to get a decent grade

sorry if that sounded dumb btw
130 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-26 12:00
I can feel that. I feel like almost everything I try to do I'm just okay at. It seems like everyone else I know has something they're naturally good at, but I guess I just haven't found my thing yet.
131 Name: Paperplane : 2019-04-27 07:48
Sometimes you're the windshield,
sometimes you're the bug.
132 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-04 13:52
I wasted my life.
I have nothing now.
133 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-07 04:24
The political scenario in my country and my academic future
134 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-07 10:06
My inability to open up to people, be genuine and my wasted early to mid 20's, Spent all that time ignoring my own existence as a human being.
Im better now but it hurts so much finally realizing how much i screwed myself over and how much energy i sank into a pointless struggle.
135 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-11 01:31
I have no friends and, at 21, I don't know how to make any and am also afraid to try.
136 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-12 19:33
You're no the only one in that boat buddy
Just do your best day by day
137 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-12 23:29
There's nothing that stimulates me.
I feel like a camera following a separate person.
138 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-13 08:15
Sounds like you have some dissociation issue, have you tried talk therapy? Dissociation never fully goes away but therapy did help.
139 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-14 09:48
I worry about the future. I wonder if I'll be poor and alone for the rest of my life.
140 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-15 01:28
Currently I'm worried about my personality and who I want myself to be (when it comes to hobbies etc.) I'm all over the map in terms of interests and I'm worried I'll never truly settle down and be interested in/get good at one or two hobbies.
141 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-15 04:32

Simple, git gud at all of them, or at least attempt to. The less interesting ones just stagnate and you’re left with the ones you like. This only works if you have a ton of disposable money to spend on hobby supplies
142 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-15 12:16
I don't, but this still isn't bad advice.
143 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-15 14:42
That I might not be super intelligent. I don't know if I am or am not, but it seems like I get lower grades, etc. than most of the people I know.

Maybe it's just my anxiety getting the best of me. No way to know for sure I suppose.
144 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-17 20:38
Autistic man here, heading to Ireland this fall to finally meet a girl I've been speaking to online for 4 years. I'm worried that I'll fuck it up somehow.
145 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-18 04:27
I love cigarettes.
146 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-18 10:42
You should try cigars.
147 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-18 13:34
cigars are only good for blunts do not @ me
148 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-18 23:34
149 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-26 16:21
I'm starting to think I'm falling in love with my bestfriend, and that with me having those feelings I'm going to push her away- if I haven't already removedthe rope anchoring that ship.
150 Name: Anonymous : 2019-05-28 00:38
ah man, that's a shitty situation, i've been there... i had feelings for my best friend for years until i eventually asked her out and she turned me down - things sucked and were awkward for the next month, but things eventually went back to normal. i don't have any advice, but i wish you the best.
151 Name: Anonymous : 2019-08-12 01:08
I'm worried I'll never make anything of value in my life. Stuck in jobs doing menial tasks, never working up enough energy to make something of artistic value in my scarcer and scarcer free time, and probably not good enough to actually actualize a creation like that well enough that it's a real proper work of art, something that someone will care about on more than surface level.
I'm still pretty good at relaxing and getting that off my mind though.
152 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-04 03:53
i'm worried about the fact that i'm not too worried about anything. ever since i had an accident where i almost lost my hands i've taken most things at face value. to be more specific, i'm not worried about my life or how things will turn out. i'm living each day as its own thing. i don't really have a plan.
153 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-05 00:38
long-term unemployed and apathetic after being laid off from a job which took a long job hunt to get
154 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-05 04:16
last month of contract work with very little hope for an extension is giving me real anxiety and I'm beginning to chain smoke like I did in college.
155 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-05 08:06
Gun control and climate change.
156 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-05 17:09
Things I've enjoyed in life no longer have the same draw for me. Everything is becoming harder to do. Ulcers in my stomach and nothing in the world is the same again.

Nothing really matters anymore. I used to care for things. 15 km, 144 feet, that worries me. I wonder if I'll stop worrying when everything stops.
157 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-10 22:06
I can relate, just realizing that things will never be the same as before and that I took the good times for granted.

I'd give anything to live without this chronic illness that has taken hold of me in the past few years.
158 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-13 17:36
i want to isolate myself from everyone and hibernate in daydreams and made up realities.
am starting to get nervous in crowded spaces again after a year of being a hyper-social, drug-inhaling club beast with too much self confidence.
i only ever beat one self-destruction cycle to step into another.
159 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-18 02:49
I worry about my mom and her drinking. And how she lies about her drinking.
160 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-24 01:01
I worry about never working as hard as I need to to accomplish what I want but just hard enough to be tired and not have time to really just calmly goof off without any worries
161 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-24 02:56
I'm worried about this infection that's growing on the back of my head and swelling my neck. I went to the hospital over it which I barely even was checked out. They prescribed me some antibiotics and sent me home. Hopefully the medication actually helps...
162 Name: Anonymous : 2019-09-26 00:12
I worry about the fact that I have no real endgoal as far as my life is concerned. I want to reach enlightenment like in Buddhism but I'm a lazy shit that always finds an excuse to put off meditating everyday, and I want to be the CEO of a tech company/play the role of a benevolent elite for my 3rd world country but I'm a lazy shit that barely studies.

Add to that the idea that I feel odd about the fact that I'm not really looking into having relationships. I mean, they seem to be more trouble than they're worth but I worry that by the time I'll want one I'll just be an inexperienced weirdo goof that hasn't really made any real friends since HS, let alone talk to girls.

tl;dr: I'm just worried that I'm not putting in the effort to accomplish the things I want out of life and I'll just be a loser stuck in his parent's house.
163 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-14 14:41
I moved back to the east coast to be closer to my family because a lot of them are getting older and I could tell that there were going to be a lot of funerals in the next few years. I quit a pretty promising job because I didn't want to be flying back and forth so often for such morbid, miserable reasons.
Now it's happening and I don't really know how to feel. I haven't really felt too much so far and I'm not sure if it's cause something is broken in me.
164 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-23 03:02
Transit union job action is ramping up. It took 2.5hrs to get home today. Next week there will be full bus closure for 3 days.
165 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-04 03:36
Work an office job and started feeling a tingling in the tips of my fingers.
I read online that it could be a sign of carpal tunnel.
166 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-06 21:48
I think I've crossed an age line where I am supposed to leave my nerdy hobbies and interests or at least keep them hidden to avoid ridicule, or be a "creator" whom people look up to. Everywhere I look where I might want to talk about my interests it's full of people who are like 10 years younger and like the new hip thing I usually dislike and are fully immersed in a different internet culture that I dislike.
I doubt I'm such a weird case, but I don't know where or how to find people my age who didn't completely compromise toward the new internet culture. I'm grounded in nostalgia for older stuff or things that are more like that, and I've got no use for modern things.
My hobbies aren't really just hobbies but a huge part of me, so I'm getting a bit stressed about the idea that I might never be able to relate to anyone about them. Loneliness doesn't worry me but this does.
The alternative is just learning to like it this way.
167 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-07 13:44
Turning 30.
168 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-07 18:38
The twilight years...
169 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-08 22:34
170 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-09 20:29
Hey. Even though we might have different hobbies I understand you too well. Sorry, but it won't be a cheering reply because I gave up on talking and searching long ago. Still, somehow, I am glad to see that someone probably feels the same (despite these not being very pleasant feelings). Take care and endure.
171 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-09 23:56
Thanks anon. As they say, wen day is dark, always rember happy day.
172 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-10 01:33
Project status: Offline
Archiving status: Lost
174 Name: real ethnic English adult : 2021-03-12 06:17
The fact that English and Broken English is still the current global lingua franca! I wish that [any other language] is the current global lingua franca instead! I wish there are fewer/no/zero trans-ethnic English sub-animals and fewer/no/zero counterfeit ethnic English sub-animals!
175 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-12 10:56
please take the full course until the doctor tells you to stop taking the antibiotics. if you stop prematurely because you think it's gone already there might actually be a small number of bacteria still there that are more immune to the antibiotics. these bacteria will be even harder to treat.

i wish you good health!!

i just noticed that your post was from 2019, i hope you're better now :)
176 Name: Anonymous : 2021-03-14 21:30
Lack of contact with people worries me. I only have friends online and I think that may come to bite me in the ass later unless I can meet up with them someday. It's one of my greatest hopes to do so, but it takes a lot of money and planning, and it's not a sure matter. So I guess that's also a big worry for me.
177 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-01 07:01
Yuki.la is dead. (Yes I know 4chan is cringe but I am a coprophile and I kind of like it sometimes.)
178 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-01 17:26
I have close to no money and can't find a job because of Covid

Damn :(
179 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-06 06:52
Whenever I go to https://wiki.archiveteam.org/index.php?title=Deathwatch I experience a mild existential crisis.

(actually I don't know what "existential crisis" means and I only wrote it to sound smart)
180 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-06 12:41
Strangely I care nothing for all these websites and they don't affect me, but I discovered that YTMND was resurrected so I watched Conan is... AN ALLIGATOR and I was happy, although I could have watched it somewhere else. Thanks anon
181 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-06 13:37
This YTMND resurrection doesn't require javascript or flash right, hopefully not html5/css3 either.
182 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-10 04:13
Feel like there's some mental blocks preventing me from making meaningful progress in my hobbies. Once learning curves start getting steeper, I jump ship. My frustration with this habit-hopping is manifesting itself in a desire to get rid of most of my posessions.

[If I have less things, maybe I can focus on what's left] is my thinking. But I don't know if this is just a cope? Or if I'd actually be okay with minimalism. I want to stop being distracted by shiny new interests. Settle down and do something productive. Argggh
183 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-14 20:34
just nominated someone's Wikipedia article for deletion and now I feel like a complete asshole...
184 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-15 13:42
what worries you?
my struggle with being overprotective of others. i'm too empathetic for my own good and whenever someone i care about is sad, i have this weird thing where i forget what bothers me and i focus all my energy on them. that works for a bit, but obviously i can't help or protect everyone, and then i feel powerless and like i'm a bad friend.
185 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-16 06:38
I'm genuinely worried that I am irrecoverably bound for failure. Higher education has not been working out, but a diploma is a must if I want to pursue my area of interest regardless of how skilled I am in it. There's not much out there for me other than flipping burgers.
186 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-16 15:30
187 Name: Anonymous : 2021-04-19 06:08
I worry about my cousin. I fell in love with her in my mid-teenage years and even tried asking her out. I thought she had liked me too. She rejected me for obvious reasons, and we went our separate ways. I still wonder to this day if she actually liked me, and if we were on a different blue planet where we were not cousins, would I have had a chance? It has been half a decade though. I am sure she has forgotten about me just as much as I have forgotten her.
Hope that was a short and entertaining read for you though.
188 Name: Anonymous : 2021-05-02 23:48
I feel miserably lonely, even though I play video games with friends almost every night.
I feel like I lose myself a little every night, like I lost how I really am, and I will inevitably forget who I was.
I lost almost all my IRL friends, and now I feel like I'm on a different dimension, and I don't know how to solve this.
I want to talk to new people, but with covid I don't go out that much.
I really want to talk to someone but I don't really have much to say. I don't know if I made myself clear because I'm not great with writing in english, sorry about that.

189 Name: Anonymous : 2021-05-02 23:56
I want to talk to new people
190 Name: Anonymous : 2021-05-03 00:01

Because I want to discover new things, share what I love and learn new things, new styles, met different personalities, and not stuck myself in my bubble for months.

191 Name: Anonymous : 2021-05-03 16:42
I checked it out but I had a brain fart and confused yuki.la with rbt.asia. I saw that rbt works and got happy and started smiling like a retard. Then I realized I am retarded.
192 Name: Anonymous : 2021-05-05 19:10
You can use a name by typing it in the name field.
It seems like your issue is that you have not found yourself. You don't seem to have a clear idea of what you are looking for, searching for other people at this stage isn't going to help you.
193 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-02 09:42
I have no interests, hobbies, and long-term plans. I will likely become a wage slave on a job I hate, 8-12 hours per day, 5 days a week, for the rest of my life. Or maybe I will become a parasite and leech off of my mother, ashamed and disgusted of myself.
194 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-04 09:16
Why not do something that makes you proud instead of ashamed?
195 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-06 07:40
The problem is that I don't know what I want to do.
196 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-06 07:41
>>195 smh, I meant to reply to >>194
197 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-13 19:39
I can relate to this incredibly well, the feeling of just not being GOOD at anything just having bits and pieces of a variety of things. I've picked out a few things that I've decided to dump my 30's in as my 20's are spent but it feels so late that it makes me depressed.

Something that worries me more than that though is work and where i'll end up living. It feels as though I'll never truly find a place I like without abandoning the rest of my family and that makes it very hard to imagine the future for me.
198 Name: Anonymous : 2021-06-28 15:08
I'm not too sure what to do with myself, i recently dropped out of university because i was a lump who couldnt focus on work during online lectures. My dad still seems hopeful ill find something to do, for now im just going to keep drawing, maybe look for some burner job to save up some money, but ill be damned if i know what i actually want out of life.
199 Name: Catt : 2021-06-29 23:17
The feeling of emptiness is immense. I understand you perfectly.
200 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-13 16:17
I worry that I will not be able to ever actually break into my field (Software Engineering), even if it is supposed to be considered quite a lucrative one. From what I've kept reading on the internet, internships are during college are supposed to be quite a vital part of the process, but then I worry I won't even be able to find one of those.

One of my friends has constantly been talking to me about her internship at IBM and showed off all the merchandise they sent her before starting it, and now she's even getting to work with a team of people from my native country. I'm pretty envious to say the least. All I cound find this summer is some externship, and a job tutoring a class in Python only once a week, but I don't know if either will actually anything for me to get an actual internship.
201 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-13 16:27
Can't type today, jeez. I meant "will actually do anything for me to get an actual internship."
202 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-14 20:50

I thought the same when I was trying to get an internship, that was maybe ten years ago. So I can relate to this quite a bit.

Granted your country may be very different from mine, but here, first one/two jobs are the hardest to get in this field and after that you can basically fall into any job without trying. I wouldn't take an IBM type job for twice what I'm on now.

I often think it would be nice to help people who were in a similar situation to me back then, but I actually have no idea how to do that while staying anonymous. All I really did was apply everywhere and work my ass off at university, talked to teachers/professors a lot and tried to see if they could recommend me for anything.

Naturally there's the obvious stuff like it helps to have a github with stuff on there. Doesn't really have to be the best, but it shows you know how to use git. You can also set up sites for stuff using github pages pretty easily, so if you can think of any cause or anything that could use a site, all you really have to pay for is DNS.

I don't know how useful any of that is. I check this site maybe once a week and I interview a lot of junior devs so if I can answer any questions or something then I will. Good luck and try your best.
203 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-15 13:08

Thank you for your reply. I'm based in the U.S. I also have Bulgarian citizenship, and apparently there is a boom in tech jobs there at the moment, so I had actually tried looking for internships there as well. One job posting really appealed to me, because the company primarily uses C and I had just completed two Programming courses that were taught in it so I thought it would be an excellent opportunity in particular. They invited me for an interview and gave me a quiz on C towards the end, but most of the questions were on concepts we were never taught in my classes. Needless to say, I bombed it pretty hard and they then e-mailed me that I could not move further in the hiring process because of my results. Not quite sure why they made their final decision based on such a quiz, when they told me during the interview itself that I would go through training courses for C if hired. I figured Bulgaria would not suffer from the Catch-22 of experience like in the U.S. did, but maybe I was mistaken.

If you don't mind me asking, how did you go about building a relationship with professors? I hear about it alot but I'm still quite puzzled on how exactly to do it. I've started going to my professors for help alot more these past two semesters, but it still hasn't left me with any meaningful connection with any of them. (I also have struggled with socializing, although I have made some improvements, so perhaps that is another reason why I am confused on how exactly to go about it. Does it involve starting to talk to them about things outside of academics and when should I do that, in that case?)

How does one post their projects on their resume? I've been worried whether posting links on it looks professional or not, and whether or not I should just write sections summarizing what they are about in that case.

Thanks again!
204 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-15 15:26
Hi fren! Its pretty standard to have a link to your github/website on resumes. Employers WANT to see what you've been working on. Best practice is to put it on top with your contact info. Or, if there's a single, long-term project you want to direct attention to, a link in a "Highlighted Projects" section with relevant description is appropriate.
205 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-16 17:12

>>204 is 100% correct. When I'm hiring a junior the first thing I look for is what they've done outside of work. All the grades in the world don't really compare to being able to see what someone's actually capable of. Even better if they're projects that they've done themselves outside of college/uni.

I'd say also try not to feel down about interviews where you don't get the job. Everywhere really wants experience, because it's the most reliable thing that shows you can do the job. Everyone has to apply to a lot of jobs at the start and probably you'll only get offers from a few, especially for an internship. Try to avoid being picky on language and the type of work until you have a few offers and can pick one.

In terms of relationships with professors, I generally talked to them about the course material and work given out at first. In theory they all have some kind of passion for both teaching and the subject, which you should really have a passion for the subject too so it's an easy thing to talk about. Don't hesitate to ask about things like "What are some good books or articles on X subject you talked a bit about" or anything like that and try and have a discussion about something technical.

I'm UK based and the market is very different over here to US, but similar to the EU. If you have EU citizenship and are comfortable living somewhere you haven't for a year or so, I'd really recommend applying for places in the EU.

It might be that there are lots of benefits to working in the US but from my perspective and from the people I know who work there or have moved there to work, the level of skill is the same, but the pay is higher, although this mainly focuses on silicon valley. For an internship you mainly want something that you'll learn a lot from.

And in general I'd just apply everywhere and decide after you have an interview or they get in contact with you if you want to take it further. It's also good to read up on some current/common practices outside of uni and be able to talk about those at length and have opinions on them. An example would be something like infrastructure as code, or CI/CD, or TDD. The important thing is to show that you're thinking about these things and are interested in them.

I hope any of this helps and please feel free to ask any more questions.
206 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-18 17:33
I feel like I picked the wrong major for my college and I don't know if I should just go with it or try to change it. I'm still only 3 semesters in so it's still pretty early but I'm not sure what to do.
207 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-18 23:16
That was when I had the realization that I needed to change majors myself. In the end it was very, very worthwhile. I also got lucky enough that I didn't have to take on an extra year either.
It's a big move so make sure it's what you want though. What might soften the blow would be the check into how much what you've already done transfers over. Most times you might have actually covered a significant amount of requirements from whatever your new major is, especially if its somewhat similar (or even significantly different, as BA's usually have to take some science electives and vice versa) I guess my advice is to set up a meeting with your advisor and get in contact with one from the new college as well (if it's a different part). Do some more introspection first of course. Good luck anon, you can do it!
208 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-20 12:46
i'm starting to feel lost again and notice depressive thought patterns and i don't like it :(
worried i might be slipping into a depression again, worried about the same thing for most of my friends. so much negativity and hopelessness around me.
209 Name: Anonymous : 2021-07-30 08:35
I'm having an affair with a neighbor. We are both married. She's very attractive, and I'm... average. We sometimes go to dinner with spouses all together and it's very stressful. I don't love her, she doesn't love me, we just love the thrill, I guess. I'm afraid it'd be more awkward if we stopped. I also sort of kind of don't want to stop. First rule of getting better is the will to get better, I know. I realize my situation: I don't actually have anyone. My wife doesn't know me, neither do my parents, nor my friends.

So I'm worried that I'm a horrible person and I know that I don't deserve my wife and I'll look like a happy husband but I'm super shallow and don't deserve anything.
210 Name: Anonymous : 2021-08-01 00:03
maybe i don't have any good friendships and it's all my fault. these past two years i've been drifting away from everyone i know. and i just spend my time on the internet but i'm not making friends there.
211 Name: Anonymous : 2021-08-01 01:00
I feel it too.

Everyone I've known in high school is graduated or about to, while I still have another 2 years ahead of me. People I would have put my life on the line for barely reach out to me anymore. Aside from family, I spend most of my time alone, trying to fill the void with hobbies. Maybe I'm just a boring guy, and I'm better off looking for boring people.

*Blows pipe pretentiously, stares into the distance* c'est la vie I suppose

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