Old age, and the decay that comes with it. Just dying would be simpler.

Old age, and the decay that comes with it. Just dying would be simpler.

I have health anxiety, currently I worry I am having a stroke or hearth attack quite often. Also I worry that I will be unemployable once I graduate university and I worry that I will be lonely forever.

>>103
that's why you look for internships and jobs before you graduate, and also make a website and build up a portfolio

even if you can't find a 9 to 5, do volunteering, like at a soup kitchen, and you can freelance on sites like fiverr, and make some stuff that you can put on your site

>>104
I think the main problem is I don't want a 9 to 5 at all and am trying to persue a career where I am my own boss in a creative industry. However if that falls through I wasn't clever enough as a youth to think out a backup plan so who knows what's going to happen.

I'm madly in love with my flatmate. I've never wanted to know a person so much as her - I want to know her thoughts, her feelings, everything that goes on in her head. Just being around her makes me so happy. She's been incredibly kind and caring to me, in a way that no one else ever has...I even let her know how I feel. It's not mutual, but I never really expected it to be. I don't even mind.

She's moving abroad. On the one hand, I know that it's what she wants and I'm happy for her, but on the other hand the thought of never seeing her again absolutely kills me. I've never met anyone like her, and I don't want to lose her

Another site I regularly went to since 2008 has closed its doors without warning, perhaps forever. I managed to save some good content off it, though.

Why wont websites last forever? This sucks.

I try to keep a positive facade when I'm on the internet, but inside I'm roiling in ever-worsening waves of depression. Somedays I worry that I might succumb to this feeling of despair.

>>107
Which site?

>>108
Sounds like a time to turn off the modem for awhile.

My doggy's getting rather old. I've been regretting the lack of time I've spent with her when she had her youth. She's not the only one I'm worried about- my parents are rapidly deteriorating, and my girlfriend's been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in her 20s.

The days pass by, and time only seems to run faster and faster. It's scary.

Every night, I look outside and I only see a handful of stars (if I'm lucky)
It makes a bit anxious. I know there's supposed to be more of them out there and our artificial lighting is polluting my vision to the point where barely any of them are visible.
Why it worries me, I'm not quite sure. Maybe the fact that I can't see something that people have looked up to for thousands of years and despite the stars still being there, I have no possibility to see them. It feels so wrong.

Maybe my life is just too meaningless that I worry about these kind of things, I dunno anymore.

I really don't know who I am or what kind of person I want to be, or even what I really like. Things are technically going well for me- I've already accepted a high paying job and have graduated with practically no debt (a miracle in my country), I have a large group of friends I can hang out with, but I still feel unfulfilled. I'm not really sure how to express myself, or how to find (and hold on to) people with similar interests.

I guess I feel like I haven't found my calling? Or that even though I'm surrounded by good things, these things are more "outer" than "inner". But on the other hand, I feel like this could be a "grass is greener" scenario where I don't really see how good things are for me.

I just feel a bit like a fraud, and that my heart isn't really into anything. I'm still young but I don't know if I'll feel satisfied, fulfilled, or even "myself" until I've wasted it.

>>113
Self introspection becomes a farce if you continually try to define yourself. There may be consistencies between who you were and who you are now, but challenges often spawn a new part of you that did not previously exist, or reinforces previous conceptions until they're no longer what they were.

The only calling you need is a calling to serve yourself.

Losing the will to live.
Harming someone you care about.
The urge to end this world keeps becoming stronger.

I want to give everyone in this thread a hug.

I have no idea what to do with my life, nor how to begin thinking about it. I worked very hard (and got lucky), eventually accumulating enough capital to never need to work again. But my life is aimless. The friends I once had have all forged their own paths and become distant, starting families, businesses, adventures, and I am stuck in a constant state of analysis paralysis over what I should be doing. A world of endless opportunity but I cannot find my place within it. Money does not buy happiness, or meaningful relationships, or fulfilment.

>>117
With money like that, have you tried traveling? It'd probably do wonders if you're stuck in a rut.

You say that you are confused as to what you want to do, but the money you have allows for a lot. Consider starting a non-profit organization or something, or working on some personal project that pertains to your interests. Or try and meet someone and start a family. As long as you start doing something, anything, the happiness and fulfillment will come. Just don't grow stagnant and do nothing.

Women.
2 weeks ago I finally started talking to a girl I was in love for half a year. We discovered that we live in nearby apartment blocks (she moved there a month ago) on the way from the work and started chatting about it. She almost immediately gave me her phone number by herself to send me the list of books she was trying to give away and the same evening I went to her place to pick one of them and chat a bit. The next day we went to our workplace together, I also came up with some excuse to meet her again in the evening and this time we talked for almost an hour. We smiled and laughed a lot and it was surprisingly comfortable. Then she left to her hometown on a vacation for 2 weeks and the last week we chatted 2-3 times per day almost daily. She sent me photos and described her days there and she was very warm to me.
The conclusion to all this was yesterday when during on of our conversation she mentioned that she has a boyfriend. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even process this information.
The thing is I was 100% sure that she knew that I like her before this (later when I confronted her I mentioned it and she didn't deny it). So to me it's incomprehensible how someone can think that it's a good idea to toy with other person's feelings like that. I spoke with 2 other girls about it, and one of them said something in lines "us girls, huh:)" and the other one also didn't see anything wrong in situation and said that she just wanted to be friends with me.

>>119
what part of that was toying with your feelings...?

>>120
The part when she mentioned being in relationship on 10th day of frequent communication with a person who's clearly interested in her. It was related to changing her apartment, so she could easily tell me that even on the first day. Or you know, not giving me her number in the first place.

Worrying is like praying for what you \emph{don't} want.

Becoming a father. My girlfriend stopped taking the contraception pills and I really don't feel fit to be a dad yet. We could afford and manage it in theory, but I still want to travel the wolrd and "live" a little before having to bear the huge responsibility of raising a child.
Don't get me wrong, I really want to have a child or two, just not right now.

>>112

It makes a bit anxious. I know there's supposed to be more of them out there and our artificial lighting is polluting my vision to the point where barely any of them are visible.

I know the feel. I remember going to a friend out in the country, and where he lived you could see so many stars! I had a big reaction to seeing so many for the first time, so I don't think it's meaningless to care.
You can like whatever you want, anon. You linking your life being 'meaningless' to you liking this is a fallacy and a very dark way of looking at things.

That I won't end up doing anything with my life. I always did really well academically without having to try, so I've always had really high hopes for myself, but now I'm starting to realize there is a lot more to life than school prepares you for, and I don't know how to gain those skills

I just learned that invisionfree is gone. I feel a profound sense of emptiness. I grieve for now, but I will try to move on. What I worry for is what will come next. What else will vanish next?

My grades.
I'm nearly 30 and coming to terms with the fact that I might just be dumb.

>>127
I realised when I attended university. Not in America of course. Where I live University is very rough. I always had very good grades without any effort. Never needed to study. This gave me a false sense of superiority.
University sent me to rock bottom. I was barely passing tests and since I never had a need to self discipline, studying was just a very complicated thing for me to do. I barely graduated but with the degree I have, no one cares about how you got it, just that you got it so I'm fine.
But seeing people easily getting good grades on all these exams made me realize just how ordinary I am. I guess leaving that teenage view of self centredness behind you is part of growing up.

>>128

tfw for me it's the polar opposite because no matter how much I try, I'll always get grades around 5,6, or 7/10 since I have a few developmental disorders and a one learning disorder

People are always impressed by my discipline and how much i do my best, but my grades never show it. It's very frustrating and I wish I could - if only for a week - feel what it's like to not have to put my heart and soul into studying to get a decent grade

sorry if that sounded dumb btw

>>129
I can feel that. I feel like almost everything I try to do I'm just okay at. It seems like everyone else I know has something they're naturally good at, but I guess I just haven't found my thing yet.

Sometimes you're the windshield,
sometimes you're the bug.

I wasted my life.
I have nothing now.
Emptiness.

The political scenario in my country and my academic future

My inability to open up to people, be genuine and my wasted early to mid 20's, Spent all that time ignoring my own existence as a human being.
Im better now but it hurts so much finally realizing how much i screwed myself over and how much energy i sank into a pointless struggle.

I have no friends and, at 21, I don't know how to make any and am also afraid to try.

>>135
You're no the only one in that boat buddy
Just do your best day by day

There's nothing that stimulates me.
I feel like a camera following a separate person.

>>137
Sounds like you have some dissociation issue, have you tried talk therapy? Dissociation never fully goes away but therapy did help.

I worry about the future. I wonder if I'll be poor and alone for the rest of my life.

Currently I'm worried about my personality and who I want myself to be (when it comes to hobbies etc.) I'm all over the map in terms of interests and I'm worried I'll never truly settle down and be interested in/get good at one or two hobbies.

>>140

Simple, git gud at all of them, or at least attempt to. The less interesting ones just stagnate and you’re left with the ones you like. This only works if you have a ton of disposable money to spend on hobby supplies

>>141
I don't, but this still isn't bad advice.

That I might not be super intelligent. I don't know if I am or am not, but it seems like I get lower grades, etc. than most of the people I know.

Maybe it's just my anxiety getting the best of me. No way to know for sure I suppose.

Autistic man here, heading to Ireland this fall to finally meet a girl I've been speaking to online for 4 years. I'm worried that I'll fuck it up somehow.

I love cigarettes.
:(

>>145
You should try cigars.

>>146
cigars are only good for blunts do not @ me

>>147
@

I'm starting to think I'm falling in love with my bestfriend, and that with me having those feelings I'm going to push her away- if I haven't already removedthe rope anchoring that ship.

>>149
ah man, that's a shitty situation, i've been there... i had feelings for my best friend for years until i eventually asked her out and she turned me down - things sucked and were awkward for the next month, but things eventually went back to normal. i don't have any advice, but i wish you the best.

I'm worried I'll never make anything of value in my life. Stuck in jobs doing menial tasks, never working up enough energy to make something of artistic value in my scarcer and scarcer free time, and probably not good enough to actually actualize a creation like that well enough that it's a real proper work of art, something that someone will care about on more than surface level.
I'm still pretty good at relaxing and getting that off my mind though.

i'm worried about the fact that i'm not too worried about anything. ever since i had an accident where i almost lost my hands i've taken most things at face value. to be more specific, i'm not worried about my life or how things will turn out. i'm living each day as its own thing. i don't really have a plan.

long-term unemployed and apathetic after being laid off from a job which took a long job hunt to get

last month of contract work with very little hope for an extension is giving me real anxiety and I'm beginning to chain smoke like I did in college.

Gun control and climate change.

Things I've enjoyed in life no longer have the same draw for me. Everything is becoming harder to do. Ulcers in my stomach and nothing in the world is the same again.

Nothing really matters anymore. I used to care for things. 15 km, 144 feet, that worries me. I wonder if I'll stop worrying when everything stops.

>>156
I can relate, just realizing that things will never be the same as before and that I took the good times for granted.

I'd give anything to live without this chronic illness that has taken hold of me in the past few years.

i want to isolate myself from everyone and hibernate in daydreams and made up realities.
am starting to get nervous in crowded spaces again after a year of being a hyper-social, drug-inhaling club beast with too much self confidence.
i only ever beat one self-destruction cycle to step into another.

I worry about my mom and her drinking. And how she lies about her drinking.

I worry about never working as hard as I need to to accomplish what I want but just hard enough to be tired and not have time to really just calmly goof off without any worries

I'm worried about this infection that's growing on the back of my head and swelling my neck. I went to the hospital over it which I barely even was checked out. They prescribed me some antibiotics and sent me home. Hopefully the medication actually helps...

I worry about the fact that I have no real endgoal as far as my life is concerned. I want to reach enlightenment like in Buddhism but I'm a lazy shit that always finds an excuse to put off meditating everyday, and I want to be the CEO of a tech company/play the role of a benevolent elite for my 3rd world country but I'm a lazy shit that barely studies.

Add to that the idea that I feel odd about the fact that I'm not really looking into having relationships. I mean, they seem to be more trouble than they're worth but I worry that by the time I'll want one I'll just be an inexperienced weirdo goof that hasn't really made any real friends since HS, let alone talk to girls.

tl;dr: I'm just worried that I'm not putting in the effort to accomplish the things I want out of life and I'll just be a loser stuck in his parent's house.

I moved back to the east coast to be closer to my family because a lot of them are getting older and I could tell that there were going to be a lot of funerals in the next few years. I quit a pretty promising job because I didn't want to be flying back and forth so often for such morbid, miserable reasons.
Now it's happening and I don't really know how to feel. I haven't really felt too much so far and I'm not sure if it's cause something is broken in me.

Transit union job action is ramping up. It took 2.5hrs to get home today. Next week there will be full bus closure for 3 days.

Work an office job and started feeling a tingling in the tips of my fingers.
I read online that it could be a sign of carpal tunnel.

I think I've crossed an age line where I am supposed to leave my nerdy hobbies and interests or at least keep them hidden to avoid ridicule, or be a "creator" whom people look up to. Everywhere I look where I might want to talk about my interests it's full of people who are like 10 years younger and like the new hip thing I usually dislike and are fully immersed in a different internet culture that I dislike.
I doubt I'm such a weird case, but I don't know where or how to find people my age who didn't completely compromise toward the new internet culture. I'm grounded in nostalgia for older stuff or things that are more like that, and I've got no use for modern things.
My hobbies aren't really just hobbies but a huge part of me, so I'm getting a bit stressed about the idea that I might never be able to relate to anyone about them. Loneliness doesn't worry me but this does.
The alternative is just learning to like it this way.

Turning 30.

>>167
The twilight years...

>>168
夕凪の時代?

>>166
Hey. Even though we might have different hobbies I understand you too well. Sorry, but it won't be a cheering reply because I gave up on talking and searching long ago. Still, somehow, I am glad to see that someone probably feels the same (despite these not being very pleasant feelings). Take care and endure.

>>170
Thanks anon. As they say, wen day is dark, always rember happy day.

The fact that English and Broken English is still the current global lingua franca! I wish that [any other language] is the current global lingua franca instead! I wish there are fewer/no/zero trans-ethnic English sub-animals and fewer/no/zero counterfeit ethnic English sub-animals!

>>161
please take the full course until the doctor tells you to stop taking the antibiotics. if you stop prematurely because you think it's gone already there might actually be a small number of bacteria still there that are more immune to the antibiotics. these bacteria will be even harder to treat.

i wish you good health!!

i just noticed that your post was from 2019, i hope you're better now :)

Lack of contact with people worries me. I only have friends online and I think that may come to bite me in the ass later unless I can meet up with them someday. It's one of my greatest hopes to do so, but it takes a lot of money and planning, and it's not a sure matter. So I guess that's also a big worry for me.

Yuki.la is dead. (Yes I know 4chan is cringe but I am a coprophile and I kind of like it sometimes.)

I have close to no money and can't find a job because of Covid

Damn :(

Whenever I go to https://wiki.archiveteam.org/index.php?title=Deathwatch I experience a mild existential crisis.

(actually I don't know what "existential crisis" means and I only wrote it to sound smart)

>>179
Strangely I care nothing for all these websites and they don't affect me, but I discovered that YTMND was resurrected so I watched Conan is... AN ALLIGATOR and I was happy, although I could have watched it somewhere else. Thanks anon

>>180
This YTMND resurrection doesn't require javascript or flash right, hopefully not html5/css3 either.

Feel like there's some mental blocks preventing me from making meaningful progress in my hobbies. Once learning curves start getting steeper, I jump ship. My frustration with this habit-hopping is manifesting itself in a desire to get rid of most of my posessions.

[If I have less things, maybe I can focus on what's left] is my thinking. But I don't know if this is just a cope? Or if I'd actually be okay with minimalism. I want to stop being distracted by shiny new interests. Settle down and do something productive. Argggh

just nominated someone's Wikipedia article for deletion and now I feel like a complete asshole...

what worries you?

my struggle with being overprotective of others. i'm too empathetic for my own good and whenever someone i care about is sad, i have this weird thing where i forget what bothers me and i focus all my energy on them. that works for a bit, but obviously i can't help or protect everyone, and then i feel powerless and like i'm a bad friend.

I'm genuinely worried that I am irrecoverably bound for failure. Higher education has not been working out, but a diploma is a must if I want to pursue my area of interest regardless of how skilled I am in it. There's not much out there for me other than flipping burgers.

>>185
Same.

I worry about my cousin. I fell in love with her in my mid-teenage years and even tried asking her out. I thought she had liked me too. She rejected me for obvious reasons, and we went our separate ways. I still wonder to this day if she actually liked me, and if we were on a different blue planet where we were not cousins, would I have had a chance? It has been half a decade though. I am sure she has forgotten about me just as much as I have forgotten her.
Hope that was a short and entertaining read for you though.

I feel miserably lonely, even though I play video games with friends almost every night.
I feel like I lose myself a little every night, like I lost how I really am, and I will inevitably forget who I was.
I lost almost all my IRL friends, and now I feel like I'm on a different dimension, and I don't know how to solve this.
I want to talk to new people, but with covid I don't go out that much.
I really want to talk to someone but I don't really have much to say. I don't know if I made myself clear because I'm not great with writing in english, sorry about that.

--Mirage

>>188

I want to talk to new people

Why?

>>189

Because I want to discover new things, share what I love and learn new things, new styles, met different personalities, and not stuck myself in my bubble for months.

--Mirage

>>177
I checked it out but I had a brain fart and confused yuki.la with rbt.asia. I saw that rbt works and got happy and started smiling like a retard. Then I realized I am retarded.

>>190
>>188
You can use a name by typing it in the name field.
It seems like your issue is that you have not found yourself. You don't seem to have a clear idea of what you are looking for, searching for other people at this stage isn't going to help you.

I have no interests, hobbies, and long-term plans. I will likely become a wage slave on a job I hate, 8-12 hours per day, 5 days a week, for the rest of my life. Or maybe I will become a parasite and leech off of my mother, ashamed and disgusted of myself.

>>193
Why not do something that makes you proud instead of ashamed?

>>193
The problem is that I don't know what I want to do.

>>195 smh, I meant to reply to >>194

>>3
I can relate to this incredibly well, the feeling of just not being GOOD at anything just having bits and pieces of a variety of things. I've picked out a few things that I've decided to dump my 30's in as my 20's are spent but it feels so late that it makes me depressed.

Something that worries me more than that though is work and where i'll end up living. It feels as though I'll never truly find a place I like without abandoning the rest of my family and that makes it very hard to imagine the future for me.

I'm not too sure what to do with myself, i recently dropped out of university because i was a lump who couldnt focus on work during online lectures. My dad still seems hopeful ill find something to do, for now im just going to keep drawing, maybe look for some burner job to save up some money, but ill be damned if i know what i actually want out of life.

The feeling of emptiness is immense. I understand you perfectly.

I worry that I will not be able to ever actually break into my field (Software Engineering), even if it is supposed to be considered quite a lucrative one. From what I've kept reading on the internet, internships are during college are supposed to be quite a vital part of the process, but then I worry I won't even be able to find one of those.

One of my friends has constantly been talking to me about her internship at IBM and showed off all the merchandise they sent her before starting it, and now she's even getting to work with a team of people from my native country. I'm pretty envious to say the least. All I cound find this summer is some externship, and a job tutoring a class in Python only once a week, but I don't know if either will actually anything for me to get an actual internship.