13 Name: Anonymous : 2018-03-01 04:17
I fake being an extrovert. Many people see me as a good person because of my achievements, maybe even a successful person, but inside I am corroding myself away with insecurity and useless addiction.
It's especially hard when most everyone above me views me as a competent leader and has high hopes for me and my future (this feeling, however, is not shared by my peers, who don't seem to care for me.)
On the inside I know I'm not competent, and I'm not this leader everyone thinks I am. I'm afraid my inadequacy has slowly been revealing itself to those around me, and I'm afraid some have already lost hope in me.
I've been living a duality, and as a result, I've begun to implode in on myself. I've started to push away the people in my life, and recently I've just wanted to be alone.
My work is piling up, my addictions are growing stronger, and I've never felt more lonely.