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Musings
36 replies
1160 days old
last post: Apr 11, 2022
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Musings

1 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-19 11:48
There’s dialogue here that perplex me. Usually forums are the last place for any type of blogging and that’s an easy agree. Yet that seems to introduce a devoid way to generate content. I just felt dejected seeing the latest posts and how I can’t really think to add on.

Although I’ve used anonymous sites for a decade, I’ve never thought seriously about them. That’s the whole appeal at least, to get somewhat lost in the chaotic smudges. Evidently there’s not much I out of those years.

Let’s be realistic though, there’s not much of anything you’d really hope for out of a machine. It’s not so smart to turn my back on something that made the yesteryears though. Made them. It was a bulk of time, and it is nestled prominently within it. And I’d be certain I’m not alone in that fact either.

Regardless, the reason it took so much was this appeal to finding something truly remarkable. The same ideas of anonymous quotes or hidden wisdom just waiting to surface. And that’s exactly what I mean, most content starts with a question. Pretty stupid declaration, as most conversation starts with a question. Yet the most interesting case is waiting for not only an answer, but also a question. So that’s why I lurk, maybe you as well. It’s just, in my passage of time I don’t find anything insightful anymore. And this is only exacerbates my confusion as to why I still come here. As well as understanding the exchange of thought here. For even in waiting for a question, or even asking one, does the thread curtly end.

Don’t get me wrong, this is definitely a problem on my end. My phone conversations or even quick catch ups have mostly died out or deal with the immediate. I’m close to the point where I don’t have anything to say anymore. Or maybe it’s just masquerading the fact that action is the only option now.

I suppose my motive is to cast this question then: what use is anonymous conversation where no longer you can find the glimmers of wisdom you once thought you had? Yes, you thought you had. In a reasonable write up of my past, no matter how much wisdom I stumbled over do I urge to remind you this was just a long stasis of living. Wisdom isn’t necessarily utilitized but I wish I had the wisdom to get off my computer while I was still fresh.

I suppose one thing is to entertain a bit of talking. But I find that - maybe I’m missing a crucial element here - I find that absurd since there’s no continuation. There’s nothing to spawn from that, and the only one to refer to the quick exchange of words in the future is yourself. No relationship spawns, and I think conversation serves aptly as a way to kindle that. I guess it’s more about investment - since you’ll never really attach a face to whatever you get and you may kid yourself for a moment that your quick well wishes could be of use... I’m just confused. A more glaring problem is that any exchange questions must be driven by a curiosity for you to get something out of it, to sate yourself. Yet you’re usually stranded to either see it all as washes of people you’ll never meet or deal with a unsustainable curiosity of every poster. You’re not - or, I’m not - satisfied either way.

Again, this is only told in hopes of having a quick forgettable read and maybe a better understanding of why you’re here :)
It’s just casting another letter out.
2 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-19 17:21
Perhaps you should experience again. Rekindle that sense of curiosity that you had when you first made your tottering steps into the internet. Find a hobby, get a circle going, have fun.

Hope you're doing alright.
3 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-19 21:06
It's not that complicated. You grew up.
4 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-19 23:52
>>2
Yeah, it comes down to some action. for although it seems a perspective of >>3 growing up, I still am ignorant. You could say it's a mild frustration in that there's nothing more to learn as well as nothing more to add although contradictory in nature - you'd think in all your nuggets of wisdom there'd be some you can cast out - but it's all muddled in thought. Or just exemplary of the fact there was no real advice to set in.

I don't want to pretend that my education leaves me any more understanding than someone working in the heat. It's also a faint hotness that I feel in it all, to find a solution or not I feel in itself contributes to the problem. Or the problem is nothing compared to the iron others have to strike to live.

Although it takes some neuroticism to even bother typing up something that advocates to never be written, it's just a weird powerlessness that overcomes me. Only now does it set in that it was never anything more. I can't help but wonder or feel stupid to consider why others bother. I feel as if my words have no meaning anymore. A stronger powerlessness comes when you know all you've said is just another disarray. Keep the thoughts to yourself, is what I've said in my head.

The grey sets in almost. It's dumb. It's not complicated at all. I suppose you could only hope (or to hope is dumb as well) to change the course either way?

The stone is setting in and frankly I know I will turn into all the other silents but still uncertain or powerless to reconsider or change the path. A histrionic is the last thing you could ever consider me, but I suppose I'm kicking around wondering why is my fate already sealed.

I typed a lot but realize that I just am lacking a lot of things. And if I'm even more honest, to remove this anonymous barrier the same thing will still result. It's unbelievably hard to think about another relationship that wouldn't just be filled with quietness. I have forgotten why I use words for themselves, if that could make sense. Instead of ways to prove or probe they're just ways to reduce damage or to solidify the next action. Nihilism is the last thing that causes this; it's more of a reducible simplistic (maybe ignorant) understanding that everything more isn't much to begin with.

Coarse it is, adulthood I guess. Or maybe it's just beginning and I'll look forward to conveying up something again when the reason is there and the experience comes through. Until then, it's just very lame and isolating. Or these are passing emotions and thoughts. Tomorrow I'll continue to look for an answer, just as everyone in history has. Grab at thoughts and plaster them if I have to, or tomorrow may be the breaking point and my room will keep me. Was it worth sharing? Time will tell.
5 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-20 06:43
>>4
Difficult to read and a little bit too rambly while also trying to be poetic but somehow failing at getting a point across nor is it an entertaining read.
Sorry mate. Hate to be that guy but maybe you should find someone to talk to irl?
6 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-20 19:56
>>4
Tl;dr
7 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-21 04:58
>>5
>>6
Why waste your time to type that up and hit submit? Don't you have anything else better to do? Your words will always mean nothing here.
8 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-21 05:02
>>7
Regardless, I hope you all have a nice lie. Goodbye.
9 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-21 05:35
Very dramatic.
10 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-22 15:30
>>7
So do yours.
11 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-22 18:10
Yeah I got half way to the second time OP posted and I just can't go on. It's like my soul if being sucked out of me from how rambly it reads.

Sorry OP, but cut to the chase.
12 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-22 19:31
I think we shouldn't be so rough on OP. This kind of writing is more about the writing than it is about the reading. I think this kind of condensated stream of consciousness is an interesting addition to the site.
13 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-23 04:06
>>1
forums are the last place for any type of blogging and that’s an easy agree.
is it though? with the net being as siloed off as it is now, any opportunity to read about the lives of others seems better to me.
14 Name: Anonymous : 2019-02-23 06:55
>>13
is it though?
No, OP said forums, but he really meant 4chan and co. People always talked about their lives even on thematic forums.
15 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-08 18:39
>>12
That's true, but it doesn't make OP any more interesting to read.
16 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-10 19:57
>>14
projecting
>>15
evaluation on how you feel rather than the content

this place is for braindead people
become a spectacle
17 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-11 13:30
>>7
The thing is, is it worth to post in any website? Hard disk aren't a secure way to preserve information and won't last like paper or scrolls. And I can say it is, because, even if it's ephemeral, giving feels or letting other waste their times in reading or typing something it's sort of magical, that's Internet in all his stupidity, nihilism and beautyness. It is truly, the last frontier of human information.
>>16
*tips fedora*

And, yes, the original post it's innecesarily long and confusing, but it leaves a good question in the air: What is the purpose and mean of leaving information in this way?
18 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-12 13:09
>>17
What is the purpose and mean of leaving information in this way?
For me personally it isn't necessarily about what information I leave here but more about the interaction between like-minded people and what comes out of that.
I share an experience, and someone else shares theirs and occasionally you come across something new, be it an interesting article, piece of music or just a thought.
The pace and mentality of this small community also gives me a strong feeling that people actually read what is being written.

I hope this comes across well, I'm always struggling a bit with English when it comes to these deeper and meta discussions.
19 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-17 06:36
>>18
gives me a strong feeling that people actually read what is being written.
I concur: the point isn't to record information in a timeless manner, the beauty is in having a brief, ephemeral exchange that just subtly and positively affects our lives – whether by stimulating new ideas, touching someone else emotionally, or just providing musings to while away the time. The japanese phrase "ichigo ichie" captures the feeling best.

I hope this comes across well
Yes it was worded quite nicely!
20 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-21 18:22
Its been a while since I've been here. I'm glad this place is still going strong.
21 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-27 22:03
>>20
Don't worry it will die soon. There is no moderation and new users would rather post immediately than lurk and attempt to fit in.
22 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-28 23:30
>>21

Don’t say that. This place is fine, albeit slow. I haven’t seen any Site with the same feeling as this one, that feels like you’re actually sitting at a neighbourhood cafe. I don’t see much out of place threads at all.
23 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-31 00:29
>>22
I'll make a new one if this place ever dies. The spirit of comfy will never die.
24 Name: Anonymous : 2019-03-31 11:40
>>21
What makes you say there's no moderation? Capey is alive and well.
25 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-02 01:49
>>24
Capey is alive and well.
Not even one April 1st gimmick. The sure sign a site is on the verge of death.
26 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-03 06:11
>>25
Not really. I don't really care for April Fools Day so i'm rather pleased that it came and went as just another normal day.
27 Name: Anonymous : 2019-04-03 20:27
I think you put it quite nicely. Spending time interacting with those kinds of anonymous mediums is akin to having a conversation with oneself. I don't talk to anyone but myself on here because there's no reasonable way of identifying the entities who reply to my replies, and who thought the thoughts that made be formulate my own thoughts in the first place. But I know *for sure* that I am reading what has been written, and I'm certain I have hit reply to change the quality of some minuscule chunk of reality. Further: Thinking does work when you're forced to think. Had I not decided to reply, I would not have thought those thoughts. It's like solving a math puzzle. I don't just come up with a solution. I pick up my pen and start to write down what is given, and just jot down what might turn out to be useful. Coming up with ideas is an interactive, hands-on process for me; to actually think out proper thoughts, I have to go through the effort of trying to translate them into some sort of semiotic system which makes them verifiable to others (not excluding myself; everyone is another person).

Reading in general is not unlike having a conversation with oneself, maybe with different parts of yourself.
28 Name: Anonymous : 2020-08-12 07:40
>>27
It's when you no longer need conversations, but action, maybe.
And action is exempt from anonymous friends.

It's been quite sometime since I've written up this thread, and I was initially embarrassed by it all. How stupid is it to articulate within the medium you mildly detest?
And so we carry on, still in the same chassis roaming these bits when the motor is all haywire and leading you to some glazed-eye fucked up worldview.

Despite the length of one's stay, it's interesting how it debilitates your essence - to that, the longer you stay, the more estranged and disgruntled you appear.
With a youth transported through the net, I'm not sure if I will overcome the fun of this exercise you describe as that's the very reason I come here too. Solve some amusing puzzles as one turns away the screaming and the hunger.
Writhe around as all is wanton to do. Needle word-worms as graffiti squirms your head. My words become poison as much as the antidote to all that let their essence up.
And your words are my parasites. We're slushing around in this cybermeat catastrophe that only the glancers can maintain as anything more than a mild distraction, a superb entertainment.

Perhaps it can be done with only your journal alone, or among more worthy contenders that bother to write whole books of things you're ruminating on. To solve puzzles in the piercing silence that becomes a home.
It's just amusing that it's been so long and still so limp one can be. A continual breakthrough, but so amusing that the agglutinate info-balls of mind-rewrites thicken and inert your motives. All so difficult to stave off, but welcome the challenge, yea?
Makes you realize how melodramatic some can appear to be - and yet I detest anything less. Why not talk of scriptures and magical spells?

Regardless, I've found some portals and perhaps this one will close for much longer than anticipated, as there are many topaz crystals to collect.
Embark ye who yet is ready for battle against modern living sludgery.
My post is only a jostle toward the menance of the net-ghost soul-suckers. There is so much beauty that awaits all of us, as long as one grazes their hand along the grass they'd rather trample over.
Goodbye, Eternal September Spectres.
29 Name: Anonymous : 2022-01-26 04:17
Why look for wisdom in anonymous? That sounds like gigantic mistake.

- Confucius
30 Name: Anonymous : 2022-03-09 01:59
https://youtu.be/1o84y-5-cO0
It's amusing reading this, as I've created this thread. It's been awhile.
I even remember the day I wrote this up, the visuals and now that apartment has melted away.
I even visited again, yes, yes, I'm >>28-san too

And you know, although so many things around changed, the central thesis here seems to have slithered out of my head.
The two: lack of continuity & lack of action.
And the mission (implicit) to do something about it.

Many other things did pass but my mission stayed static here: you would think, you would think that after 3 years maybe I would've had something else to contribute to this thread.
If you asked me a question or two I could probably answer then.
There's something I bet, with enough distillation.
I guess the only thing to report is that I no longer touch anything else at all other than these forums. Friends have shifted away long ago, and I'm quite okay with that.

But here I am! Typing again. Here for you, whoever you are.
Three years! What's next?
31 Name: Anonymous : 2022-03-09 02:00
>>29
And yes, you are most certainly correct.
32 Name: Anonymous : 2022-03-30 12:51
I am gonna post random musings of mine in this thread since its called musings.

To be a god you must be easily amused, otherwise you would quickly grow tired of eternal life.

More to come when I think of good ones.
33 Name: Anonymous : 2022-03-30 22:53
*braps in the face of everyone in this thread*
BRAAAPPPPPPpPpPpPpPppppppp
34 Name: Anonymous : 2022-04-06 05:11
>>33
Now that's VIP Quality
35 Name: Anonymous : 2022-04-11 02:58
I hope OP is feeling better nowadays. You sounded really ungrounded, there is no real purpose in navelgazing like that and I do fear that too much navelgazing will just lead you to mistakenly believe you're hitting on something profound.
This medium is on the decline, sure. The inevitable obsolescence of these little anon sites is why we come here to post, however. If I wanted to preserve my thoughts I'd write them on paper, either in a letter to one of my pen-pals or in my own diary. For spaces like these we save our uglier writing, our uglier sentiments. The golden era of chan culture predates my debut on the internet so maybe I'm just not capable of sharing the sentimentality, but if you're feeling ennui the best way to overcome that is by making the most of the connections you do make, start keeping a personal website, and carry something from the internet out into the real world with you. I personally feel no less alienated online than I do in the real world, which makes sense because no matter where you choose to interface you're still dealing with the same old feelings and memories and personalities. Nothing ever changes. That's fine.
The only real source of entertainment online is yourself. If you feel like a dog returning to its own vomit, then you must seek out new experiences in this world with desperation and enthusiasm. Go hang out with rice farmers, get made fun of for sounding like a fruit, literally anything. Go outside.
36 Name: Anonymous : 2022-04-24 23:58
>>35
I hope OP's stomach is better nowadays. He was really clogging up the board and I didn't want the embarrassment of calling a plumber.
...
blah blah blah
...
*braps*

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