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random thought
66 replies
64 days old
last post: Dec 17, 2019

random thought

1 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 02:55
how are you all doing?
2 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 14:58
Todays morning sucked. My coffee didn't taste good, I woke up late, my laptop and phone where completely dead, and my dog through up on my only clean blanket.
3 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 16:18
that's pretty bad, anon. maybe the rest of your day won't suck as much?
4 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 16:33
Those are the kind of days where I try and turn it around by treating myself to something nice for dealing with all the rest of the annoying stuff.
5 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 17:41
That's a good way to go about things.
6 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 20:09
I'm going to try to make today a good day by getting some writing finished that I've been meaning to start for months.
7 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 22:52
Thanks, when a day is irredeemably bad, like today, I lean towards just getting really drunk. This also usually helps.
8 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-17 23:46
i thought i was going to have a very bad day today. thankfully, i was wrong.
that and video games or doing anything that you enjoy.
9 Name: Paperplane : 2019-10-18 08:35
Caught in every day life.
Week just zoom by and I didn't even notice Octobre has half way passed.
10 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-18 13:01
Octobre has half way passed.
This makes me sad. October is my favorite month, and I don't feel like I've enjoyed it enough for it to be half over already.
11 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-21 22:17

i'm alright, thanks
i do notice however that my amount of daily activities has shrunk. i go to college during the day and then post on imageboards, listen to music, or sleep the rest of the time.
i have all these books and a minecraft world to explore but i just don't have enough energy to do any of it.
also this >>10. it's already the 21st and the days just keep flying by. soon it will be summer again and i'll be sweaty all day every day again thus the comfiness ends.
12 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-22 08:07
I'm doing okay overall I guess but stressed about the future. I keep messing up things I wanted to do like going back to school and now I'm at a point where I have no idea what I can do anymore. I messed up my chance to go back in january and now I'm not sure if I'll be able to go back in September next year either because I am supposed to have major surgery around that time. I actually do want to improve my life and move forwards but its so hard and I just get so worried and sick about everything.
13 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-22 19:39
I'm doing well. Busy as usual, but I wouldn't have it any other way this time of year. It makes me appreciate the moments of calm even more.
What are you interested in studying?
14 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-23 00:20
One of the worst weeks I've had in quite a while is finally winding down. I guess I've been better, making it through though.
15 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-23 07:16
heh it's as though i made this post a year ago because I did say very similar things, although except my major surgery is in february

stay strong, anon!
I believe in you.
16 Name: Anonymous : 2019-10-25 03:20
I'm not fully sure what I want to study. I'm not trying to go to uni or anything I just want to be able to get a better job than retail. There was a program for medical office administration I was going to apply to but since I missed my chance for that I guess I am going to keep looking and see what I can find.
17 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-08 07:40

ok but tired ;_;
18 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-08 08:49
Sick, but recovering. Working on some code, feeling pretty good otherwise.
19 Name: Paperplane : 2019-11-10 21:18
That dude in the fav things thread forgot to ask a question and I'm angry over that.
20 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-17 23:16
What makes something worth doing? I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. It seems like there's countless things that are worth doing. But it seems like the more excited I get about an something, the faster I lose interest.

First-world problems, I guess.
21 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-18 10:14
First-world problem indeed but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem worth solving.
I can relate. As I grew up in a society that has stripped me of all value and purpose there's a desire to do something. At least, that's how it feels to me.
Fortunately, what helped is to set long term goals and I've been disciplined enough to get over the point where I usually lose interest. For example I've picked up drawing and been doing that daily for almost 3 years now with plenty of times I where wanted to give up. Now it feels like it's becoming part of me and I want to do it without having to push myself.
22 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-18 19:23
I've been asking myself this exact question more and more lately. I am happy with the commitments that I've made and the work that I put into that part of my life, but I have been wondering what is worth doing with my free time and hobbies.
What is the purpose of a hobby beyond providing enjoyment to one's life? Should I use my creativity to create things to show to the world? To share with my friends and my partner? Just for myself to enjoy? There are many things that I enjoy doing, but I have recently been questioning which of things are worth doing and which are the most important for me.
23 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-19 10:13
The most enjoyable hobbies for me are the creative ones. There's something extra satisfying and fulfilling about actively working on something personally, more so than just passively consuming something. Of course, I wouldn't say that you should never do anything passive, but there is something especially fulfilling about being productive.
But if it's about productivity, where do you draw the line between work and hobby? lately I've been thinking about how wonderful it would be to find your work as fulfilling as a hobby.

It seems natural that people must have some sort of work to do in their lives, rather than be idle. Of course, nowadays it seems like we're conditioned from an early age to desire nothing more than to consume and be comfortable. But it seems to me that these desires will never really be fulfilled, and so they never lend the same sense of meaning to one's life that something like craftsmanship might.

Temporary pleasures are always something I find myself looking forward to in the future, like I'm deferring my happiness to a future date, like some kind of distraction from the harsh reality of the present. But imagine being able to take joy in the present, in every moment of your work, rather than just the down time.

I'm praying for the day that I can take joy in my work, and the meaning it lends to my everyday life, rather than some abstract idea of comfort in the future.
24 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-19 20:27
I read your message in the morning and thought about it all day. I enjoy hearing another perspective on these things and it allows me to more deeply reflect on my own life.

I have certainly been lucky to have an overlap between my hobbies and my work, and although my work is work, it has its ups and downs, because it is connected to my hobbies, my hobbies go with it. It is both a blessing and a curse to have this overlap because it makes the good days very nice, but when work gets busy or stressful or overwhelming my hobby feels the same to me. I feel as though I get subsumed into a temporary paralysis of both on these occasions where I just have to push through at work and abandon my hobby for a little bit while I work to regain interest. I have been working on decoupling these two parts of my life without losing either one of them and part of that tricky decoupling led me to these questions.

When you talk about it being natural for people to have some sort of work to do in their lives, I wonder if it is not just about doing work in one's life but with one's life. I don't merely want to bide my precious time on Earth, but leave a positive impact even if the only people who will remember are my descendants and even if my impact is all that is left. Maybe that is a bit vain and maybe that is putting too much focus on work so I digress.

I can not speak for your situation, but what if a bit more idleness is the solution. We have been conditioned to see everything in terms of its products and to value things based on the valued gained for us. I don't mean to imply that one should quit work because work is important to supply oneself and people they love with a good life, but what if spending time alone or with others in idleness is part of what could be missing. I believe there can be a balance between ensuring future comforts though an uncomfortable present and reveling in the present and I personally am still looking for that balance in my life.

What do you think?
25 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-20 19:16

it is not just about doing work in one's life but with one's life

Yes, I think you're right. I suppose 'work' can have some negative connotations that should be avoided. I think it all comes back to the question of finding meaning in your life. In this sense, meaningful actions become part of your 'life's work', rather than 'work' in its more limited sense. But maybe this definition is too broad to be useful.

Your point about idleness is interesting too. I'm sure a lot of people avoid this intuitively, but some people might in fact consider behaviour which doesn't serve that material interest as idleness or inaction. I think it is a problem when, as you say, we are conditioned to see 'ensuring future comfort' as the only meaningful action.

On reflection, though, I feel like this whole idea of life's meaning is probably too broad to be useful. Is it possible to improve your life simply by trying to locate happiness in the present, rather than deferring it to the future? In retrospect, this sounds like a bit of a cliche, like some kind of motivational-speak nonsense. My gut instinct tells me that this exercise is probably only as useful as, say, 'positive thinking' or something. That is, it's useless if you can't actually believe in it.

In other words, I think what I'm really trying to get at is some idea of truth. Some certainty of meaning, that can serve as a sort of guiding principle or axiom by which life literally gains meaning.
26 Name: Paperplane : 2019-11-21 07:03
I hate how being smug and laid back no matter what is what people online deemed to be the "winning" position by most.
The root lies, imo, in the good old trollface/trolling:
We were asking each other
u mad bro?
and established that being emotionally invested in any discussion whatsoever is a bad thing. So that's when rage online died and people felt pressed into apathy instead of being genuinely angry over something or at least never show their anger.
Then came
You are genuinely excited for something? Bro that's pretty cringe! Cool kids don't care about anything!
Being sad can only be done """ironically""" now, too. See what I'm getting at?
We're anonymous online, we SHOULD be able to show our full range of emotions without being ashamed of it yet everyone seems to be trying so hard to show everyone a smug anime face,pepe or :^) instead of what he really feels.
But being angry, sad or exited over something you care about isn't a bad thing in itself. Why are we so afraid to admit to these feelings even though we're able to hide behind anonymity? An outsider would expect that we would be more liberal with our emotions online but for some twisted reason it seems to be the other way around.
27 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-21 16:55

"So then how have irony, irreverence, and rebellion come to be not liberating but enfeebling in the culture today's avant-garde tries to write about? One clue's to be found in the fact that irony is still around, bigger than ever after thirty long years as the dominant mode of hip expression. It's not a mode that wears especially well. As Hyde puts it, "Irony has only emergency use. Carried over time, it is the voice of the trapped who have come to enjoy their cage." This is because irony, entertaining as it is, serves an exclusively negative function. It's critical and destructive, a ground-clearing. Surely this is the way our postmodern fathers saw it. But irony's singularly unuseful when it comes to constructing anything to replace the hypocrisies it debunks. This is why Hyde seems right about persistent irony being tiresome. It is unmeaty. Even gifted ironists work best in sound bites. I find them sort of wickedly fun to listen to at parties, but I always walk away feeling like I've had several radical surgical procedures. And as for actually driving cross-country with a gifted ironist, or sitting through a 300-page novel full of nothing but trendy sardonic exhaustion, one ends up feeling not only empty but somehow ... oppressed.

Think, if you will for a moment, of Third World rebels and coups. Rebels are great at exposing and overthrowing corrupt hypocritical regimes, but seem noticeably less great at the mundane, non-negative tasks of then establishing a superior governing alternative. Victorious rebels, in fact, seem best at using their tough cynical rebel skills to avoid being rebelled against themselves - in other words they just become better tyrants.

And make no mistake: irony tyrannizes us. The reason why our pervasive cultural irony is at once so powerful and so unsatisfying is that an ironist is impossible to pin down. All irony is a variation on a sort of existential poker-face. All U.S. irony is based on an implicit "I don't really mean what I say." So what does irony as a cultural norm mean to say? That it's impossible to mean what you say? That maybe it's too bad it's impossible, but wake up and smell the coffee already? Most likely, I think, today's irony ends up saying: "How very banal to ask what I mean." Anyone with the heretical gall to ask an ironist what he actually stands for ends up looking like a hysteric or a prig. And herein lies the oppressiveness of institutionalized irony, the too-successful rebel: the ability to interdict the question without attending to its content is tyranny. It is the new junta, using the very tool that exposed its enemy to insulate itself."
28 Name: Paperplane : 2019-11-21 17:53
Huh, sounds like what my gut feeling told me about this irony fad.
Where's that from?
29 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-21 17:56

It's from 1993! Was written in a literary context, but it seems to have a wider cultural significance. Author an hero'd in 2008 though, so maybe he wasn't so hopeful about the future.
30 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-22 00:24
I think that the notion of "living in the moment" in the modern world has become a cliche synonymous with living a life of reckless abandon and immediate gratification in an attempt to maximize dopamine production, and I think you correctly identify this interpretation as "motivational-speak nonsense." I believe that this; however, does a great disservice to the incredible value of being present in the moment which involves neither hedonism nor immediate gratification but a sort of patience and increased attention to the now. It is absolutely important to make preparations for the future and to consider current actions in the light of future opportunities, but it is important to do this without foregoing life in the present.

This reminds me of when I was a bit younger and my parents and grandparents would tell my siblings and me to put down our electronic games when we were in the car even if it was a drive down a road in my town that I had been down a hundred times because there is a certain value to resting and observing.

It is interesting how work and hobbies ultimately tie into life's meaning and what one's "life's work" (if they have one) is. This is an interesting way of looking at things. I'm not sure I am totally sold on the point that meaningful actions are only those that contribute to one's life's work, but I would be curious first what you would define as one's life's work. What do you personally mean by that term?

I assumed it would at some point in the conversation, but on the subject of the meaning of life, here is where religion enters for me. Even in the Catholic tradition, there is a certain level of subjectivity and personal interpretation of the meaning of life. I believe that meaning is given, not created by humans, and our lives all have a purpose and which involves certain duties and callings. We are not; however, called to toil away or work until we die pursuing this meaning with full vigor, but a crucial part of life is play and joy and relaxing. Man has been given dominion over creation, but it is profoundly important to enjoy creation. I don't know your religious convictions, but I am curious about your opinion on this view.

Also, in general, this discussion reminded me of this Mark Twain quote: "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."
31 Name: Paperplane : 2019-11-22 05:26
Can't blame him. That Irony thing didn't get any better, didn't it?
32 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-22 19:51
I'm feeling kind of aimless lately since I started this new job.

Nothing's really bad, but I don't know what I want to be doing, or if I'm doing the right thing or not.

Maybe this is what not feeling stressed is.
33 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-23 09:13
I bit the inside of my lip three times in a row earlier while eating some cooked vegetables. It started pouring the blood and kept swelling each time that it was bitten. Now it's extremely sore and I can't sleep.
34 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-24 01:53
letterbox is now too fast.
35 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-24 09:01
Trying to stay hydrated and get over being sick. Hoping things don't get serious and it passes after another day or two.
36 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-24 19:37
Trying to decide on what I'm going to have for dinner this evening. Having a tough time deciding on the way to have some cooked chicken then if I should have potatoes or rice as a side. It's been a while since I've had any meat or treated myself to something "unhealthy" as fried potatoes as well. I do have some onions that need to be used up. Maybe I could have some fried potatoes mixed in with some onions with some BBQ chicken.
37 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-25 17:12
I'm dreading Thanksgiving this week. I don't really know what to do, I really don't want to go have dinner with my family. All they ever do is put me down, treat me like garbage, and ridicule me. I deal with this from the time I walk through the door until the time I leave.

I would just flat out not go, but my grandma doesn't seem to understand, and always expects me to come out there or she gets mad. She's the only family I have left that has anything to do with me and she's not getting any younger so I'm stuck in a position where I'm trying to be there for her sake. But mentally I'm not in a good place and haven't been since I lost my mom. I really don't want to have to deal with this punishment from the rest of my family any longer. The last time I was around my uncle things ended badly because I stuck up for myself and told him exactly what I thought of him as well as constantly treating me like trash. He more or less threatened my life and "disowned" me. I don't want to deal with having that tension for most of the day this week. I just can't deal with it. Talking to my grandma about any of this is as successful as if I were telling a brick wall. She ignores anything that seems problematic that I try to talk to her about.
38 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-25 19:29
Don't deal with that shit, do what you want. I can understand the bit about your grandmother, but at a certain point, you've got to prioritize yourself. Do your own thing, and don't take shit from your family. It's a day to be enjoyed, and if they're the kind of people to just put you down and put a barrage of verbal abuse on you, just say no.
39 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-25 22:23
My dad and (step) mom are coming to visit from across the US and I have to actually plan a week of activities, which is something I've never done before. So far, I have the shooting range (we're a gun state and they've never shot before. They live in a nogunz state so should be interesting) and a full-tracking VR room. Not sure what else we can do besides eat since they are arrive today but it's whatever.
So over all, things are good.
40 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-25 23:41
I think my definition of one's life's work is kind of recursive. Like I said before, it kind of gets to that idea of truth and meaning. To do something meaningful is to contribute to your life's work, and your life's work is to do something meaningful. This is what I have been struggling with, I suppose.
I've been thinking about these questions over the last few days, and in that time I've become more busy with things in my life. It seems like I only agonise over the meaning of my actions when I'm idle. Perhaps in this different sense, work, or at least a short term goal or occupation is important too. But I don't think that this is the same thing as that which would give meaning to one's life, even if it might seem that way at times.
I was raised Catholic, but I have never been able to believe. I remember when I was a child, I lay awake one night and for the first time I realised the inevitable nature of death. It was at that moment that I wished, more than anything, to believe. But if I am completely honest with myself, I've never been able to have faith in religious ideas.
Sometimes I've had a sensation of sublime experience, when listening to music or being in nature, but I've never been able to connect that experience with faith in a higher power. At the most, I suppose I might accept that there is the possibility of a higher order, but only in some abstract sense--such a thing would surely be beyond human comprehension.
I tried various ways of getting around the problem of life's meaning. I tried ignoring the issue entirely, or telling myself that I need only invent my own meaning. But I suppose that these answers are never entirely satisfactory, or else I probably wouldn't be writing this.
This is not to say I have no morals, or that I don't believe in good and evil, or right and wrong. My lack of faith means that I'm unable to say with absolute certainty what the right thing to do in a given situation might be. But even if I cannot honestly accept a claim about the content of right and wrong, I do think that I can honestly believe in a different sort of claim. That is, the ontological claim about the existence of right and wrong. I think that there is, in any given situation, a morally correct decision, even if I am unable to see it. But this claim, (and I suppose the implicit claim in this entire questioning exercise about the inherent value of truth) is about the extent of my faith.
As to your point about the importance of enjoying creation, I'm a little confused. I think this is because I don't really understand what you mean by duties and callings, for the same reasons I hope I have managed to set out above. From my perspective, that which is good and correct has meaning. Sometimes, as you indicate, the correct decision is to relax, be idle and enjoy creation. But the correctness of this action is one and the same as the correctness of any meaningful action which we take in our lives.
As I was writing this, I suddenly remembered the ending of one of my favourite films: Bresson's Diary of a Country Priest, and I think it does a better job than I can of conveying this last point. In the moment at which he has finally attained spiritual peace, the main character quotes these profound words: "All is grace."
41 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-25 23:44
Oops. >>40 is in reply to >>30
42 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-26 00:22
Yeah, that's what I want to do. I really do need to start priortizing myself and stop worrying about others to the point where it's holding me back with my life as well as keeping me in a state of constant depression. I hate this feeling of confliction that I'm harboring along with it all too. Thinking to myself that my grandma will stop having anything to do with me as well or start "hating" me alongside the rest of my family being left with no one. But going with those feelings of confliction I don't have any friends or anyone in my life that I can actually relate to so essentially I am always alone.

I wish I knew what it was like to be able to connect with family on that level.
43 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-26 01:00
I think your feelings on the matter are pretty reasonable, it's totally understandable that you'd feel conflicted about compromising your relationship with your grandmother, which you seem to value a lot. What do you think your relationship means to your grandmother? Maybe it's a bit of a cliché, but it seems like maternal figures have a lot of attachment to the idea of keeping the family together. But it's obvious that such ideas shouldn't be prioritised over your own well-being. So I'd say, if your grandmother is unwilling to recognise the importance of your relationship (maybe you could express to her the ways in which you value the relationship privately) over some abstract idea of family unity, then I don't think you'd be in the wrong for disobeying her. It's a real shame that some people can't be reasonable sometimes. For me personally, it's sometimes worth it to grit my teeth and face the music, even where it's something unpleasant. But if you don't think you can put on a brave face and put up with your family's bullshit then don't, not even for your grandmother's sake. It's her own fault for failing to recognise the unreasonable position she's placed you in, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it.
44 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-27 09:50
Honestly, I've never felt like she's truly understood me or completely denies the different person I've become. She ignores me on certain subjects as well as won't accept certain traits I've come to adopt on my own throughout the years. I've tried to express that I'm not a Christian whenever she tries to force me to come to church, as well as in other various situations. I've tried to share my own beliefs with her in a way that's not trying to force any ideology and explaining to her that's it's okay for others to believe differently. More or less trying to make her a more open minded person in a manner that doesn't conflict with accpeting me or her thinking I don't accept her with her beliefs. She definitely holds onto that idea of keeping the family together especially since losing my mom which has been very hard on all of us. Me and my siblings more or less don't speak to each other anymore. My uncles don't get along with me at all either. The rest of my family all think I'm pathetic because I don't have a good job, married, and/or have kids. Plus as well as my overall different personality from all of them. I even get put on full blast for not using Facebook to be closer with family or to give them a "snooping window" to nitpick with me even further. Honestly I've been doing the whole "grit my teeth to face the music" for well over a decade now. Honestly the only part of it that made it bearable was seeing my siblings and my mom. But now that we're not close anymore and my mom being gone the last few years it's so unpleasant it drives me into a suicidal state every year just thinking about going out there. I've been a mess about it since late September. It's taking that much of a toll on me at this point. I've barely ate or slept this week. Especially since now techinally Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I haven't even fully decided on what I'm going to do or even called my grandma. Yeah, I really need to work on that and find it in myself to not feel so damn guilty about all of this. Then next month being Christmas I'll half to deal with it all over again. I've even tried to think to myself about going out there once everyone else is already gone later in the evening if that plan will work out. Hoping that they don't stay until late.
45 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-28 09:16
I want to move away.
The situation at home has got to the point of 'I don't want to go home after work'. The situation at work has got to the point where people in the team barely do anything, because they all count on me, because I am the only more-or-less responsible human being here and they understand it. Today was this point, they could not be bothered to turn the lights on in the far half of the cafe while I was away for half an hour. Manager does nothing, the owners do nothing.
Setting this dumpster on fire and starting over somewhere else will be less hurtful and much faster then try to fix all of this.
46 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-28 17:50
What happened to the favourite things thread? I could have sworn I was posting in it recently, but the last posts in it look like they're from August??
47 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-28 17:54
Nevermind I'm stupid
48 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-29 03:18
I ended up going out there later in the evening and things worked out just fine. I stayed for a couple of hours and visited.
She actually ended up being understanding about it and didn't give me any trouble on the matter. The day didn't exactly feel special but I didn't have to endure any problems or being put down so that bit was nice.
49 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-30 01:45
I'm in a position where I'm stuck with not wanting to do. I don't feel like coming back to the internet with a "brand" but I want to start sharing content that I've worked on in attempts to maybe make some extra spending money from my hard work once and a while. Not sure how to go about that in the modern state of the internet while keeping my identity hidden. Also as odd as it may sound I would like to get credit for my work as well. I feel so conflicted.
50 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-30 01:47
I meant on this post "not knowing what to do" at the end of that first sentence. I guess I was in somewhat of a daze while writing at first I didn't even realize I messed that up.
51 Name: Anonymous : 2019-11-30 04:10
Hi. I'm really depressed. I feel like I accomplished some things in my life, but not as much as I could've had I not been depressed. At least I found this neat little site.
52 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-01 06:57
Starting to think that's most of us here.
53 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-01 11:26
Welcome to the club.
Take a seat, make some tea.
54 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-03 06:33
I'm stressed about the COPPA situation on YouTube.
55 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-04 06:59
while I hope your favorite creators make it, I'm optimistic. Now that youtube "for sure" can't harvest kids data, they will have to reconsider content made for adult audiences. People might start to swear again and not get demonetized.
56 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-04 09:36
Personally I think I'm going to find a new home to be a content creator. I want to start distancing myself away from using any Google services whatsoever.
57 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-04 16:36
I want to move away
Do it. When I was still a teenager, I moved across the country away from my parents and it was the best decision of my life. If you can get a foothold in a place that you think would be cool, absolutely do it. It will be tough starting out depending on how much you have in savings but starting anew is exciting and soul cleansing.
58 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-08 16:56
I don't have an identity and I don't know how to construct one. I can't find my way out of this conundrum. I can vaguely imagine what I would like to be like but actually applying that to how things are seems impossible. I think spending too much time on anonymous boards has had an impact, but I've no idea how to use other websites either. It seemed easier back when forums were a thing.
59 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-10 23:08
The phase "construct an identity" sounds so corporate. It feels to me like the idea of people becoming or creating their own personal brand. While it is possible to define yourself by the products you consume and the franchises you are a fan of, that feels to me like the abandonment of personal identity in favor of a manufactured identity.

My honest advice is, do not construct an identity on what you think you would like to like but instead find your identity in what you do. It is normal to feel lost and aimless in the modern world and I have been there myself.
60 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-11 03:43
3d pen drawing is just acoustic 3d printing
61 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-11 04:10
Why don't we ever refer to 3D drawing/modelling as "sculpting"? That's the closest non-digital analogue. Just a thought.
62 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-11 18:42
Sculpting is subtractive or transformative, 3d drawing is additive. Regular 3d modelling is arguably isnt, but it still doesnt closely resemble physical sculpting often times. When it does(like in a program such as zbrush or whatever its called), we generally do call it sculpting.
63 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-12 20:02
The way I do 3d modeling is I first make a bunch of items and then alter them until they are what I wanted. It's much closer to sculpting in my opinion.
64 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-16 23:42
I had too much sugar and now I can't concentrate on work. My mind is just thinking about everything is possibly can at the same time and I still have an hour to go. God damn it, co-workers bribing me with candy when they know I'm sensitive to sugar...
65 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-17 08:13
I'm so relieved my college semester has finished. And I'm happy I ended it with grades way higher than what I expected to get. I've enjoyed a few relaxing days but I'm quickly realizing my break will be here and gone before I barely blink. If I'm going to have a productive 2020 I absolutely have to stick to my schedule. That means beginning a new project on January 1st. I can certainly do it but I've got some other things to wrap up before this year is out. So I suppose I'm doing well. Realizing the only currency I truly have in this life is time; if I'm going to create what I say I want to create I've got to spend the time doing so. Everything else is just a waste. This is it, friends.
66 Name: Anonymous : 2019-12-20 08:18
I like how so little effort was put into the new cats movie that even furries with their non existant standards are visibly repulsed by it.


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