Damn, that's a lot. I wouldn't be able to accept that in your place, most likely. I'm a bit lucky to have a forever relevant career, but I would've been destroyed completely if something happened and I couldn't do my job anymore.
Hang on, please, don't let it pull you down much. I'm with you on this one.
That's funny how similar we are, in regards of tying self to our work and doing/thinking about it.