There is a story behind every person. We are all living different lives. I find it interesting to learn people perspective of life and how they gained that view.
People aren't the way they are just because they want to, they have deeper reasons from the past that created them. So what's your story?

There really is nothing interesting about me tbh.

You first, OP.

I'm just another old man now wondering where it all went so wrong.

I'm not going to say I'm that old. Hell maybe one of the younger people for sites like these. But I'm in the army; US if it wasn't obvious. I could've been more than just military. Could've had a brighter future, exiting highschool with almost enough credits in college education to get an associates for free. I still don't know why I joined. Everyones got a reason for doing something, even if that reason is random or nonsensical. But I fell into it without any purpose or reason. For the life of me though I don't know why I got on that bus. My life isn't bad, still married to my highschool sweetheart and I think we are both too respectful of one another to purposefully do something stupid enough to end our marriage. But I'm unfulfilled. I got a steady job, good wife, and plans for kids. Yet there's a nagging sense that I could be doing more for myself or for those who don't have the luck I did in life. I acknowledge how easy it is to grow up as a white suburban lower middle class family, going to award winning schools. Luxury isn't the word but I would consider myself far from someone who struggled truly to make any meal count as I didn't know where my next one might come from. Maybe it was a desire for struggle and an actual challenge from life that made me join. Or maybe I was just gullible enough to get roped in from fear the recruiter whispering in my ear. College can't get you anywhere, you need experience. I've met dead Men, what the hell does that got to do with doing a job? Idk. But I do hope my kids, whenever I have them, don't make the same mistakes. Id try and teach them, but let's face it forcing a kid to not do something is like begging them to run towards whatever that something is.

>>4
cliche. not even common because wrong isnt the majority. tell us about it.

I love interacting with humans even if I'm not very good at it or don't have any friends.
I spend quite a few years in isolation with the delusion that I was a "lone wolf", it was a mistake. Now I'm playing catchup to meet people, make friends, and built relationships. It's tough but I enjoy it so much. The years I was alone were not fun, it was constant stress and why I withheld myself from a social life I still don't know but looking back I now value every single positive interaction I have with other human beans.

>>7
some people make human interaction look too easy, so others who find it a bit stressful tend to give up, thinking themselves as some lone wolf just like you did. actively trying to make connections takes effort for most people and I wish more people knew that

>>7
I also wore that "lone wolf" cape out of teenage angst for a while - back then not as conciously as I am now about it but still.
But I too like socialising and even partys and stuff. It's just that in public spaces like in a city or on a bus that my sociophobia kicks in, idk why. I just feel unsafe among strangers in public but if it's a house party it's different, even if I know no one there.

Being treated badly sucks but you usually can just not engage anymore with people that treat you badly.
However if you treat someone badly you kinda have to live with yourself being evil and that hurts more than being the victim. Sometimes I wonder how people can live with their mistakes when I feel remorse the way I do.

nothing important enough to be noted in an universal spiritual self help book.

im an autistic guy in his late 20s that lives with his parents and lives off a disability check.I spend most of my days watching youtube videos,playing video games and sometimes goofing around with my computer with programming and blender.I feel sad alot and wish my life is more fulfilling than it is now.

>>12
Well, what can you do to make your life more fulfilling?
If you spend all day behind a monitor it's not that weird that you're not feeling well. Is there anything else you like doing outside the comfort of your home?

>>13
i do go outside and take walks and stuff like that. Its just i feel i should be doing something more but i dont know what that thing is.

>>14
Maybe you should try getting a job. I used to be in your shoes, but I got a job in a restaurant and gradually learned some social skills. I'm even starting to kind of like people.

I've always been terrified of the future and
the changes it may bring, sometimes I lay awake
at night in fear, knowing that this moment will
disappear as soon as the last.

I've tried to study stoicism and other philosophies
but none of them have helped me make peace with this
fact.

For context, I'm 17, so I'm at a point in my life
where I think I know everything even though deep
down I know that I know just a handful of things
in the ocean of wisdom that life has to offer.

College and the independence associated with it
scares me, for most of my life I've had to live
on someone else's terms; but now I have to make
my own decisions, I'm afraid I'll make the wrong
choice and end up regretting it forever.

>>16

I'm afraid I'll make the wrong choice and end up regretting it forever.

I know your 17 and basically still a kid but I feel like kicking in this open door, as you get older you won't regret "wrong" choices as much, those are basically learning experiences but you will regret the things you didn't do. Leading a passive life and indecisiveness is recipe for disaster. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, they help you grow as a person.

I've learned a great deal from my father and especially my grandfather growing up. He taught me to appreciate nature and to stop and take in the thick air and view before it passes. I can still vividly remember him walking me along raspberry bushes and halting me to watch deer roam by. He loved cooking, art and music, notably dancing to music. He eagerly wanted to share his new hobbies with someone and I always found myself accompanying him learning along side. Sometimes I feel like I was the only grandchild to appreciate him in his later years. I think about him often. He died a few years back from cancer. The worst part is, he never told anyone he had it. It maddens me to think of this secret he kept. I know he only did it so he wouldn't have to burden anyone, but I just wish he resolved it earlier. He will forever be written into my story and woven into my personality. I have a deep passion for all of his hobbies. Mostly sitting in the woods and drawing what I see. Hell, I even catch myself dancing in the kitchen a few times.

>>18
I'm sorry about such an amazing granddad passing. Glad he could give you so much before he went.

>>16
you need to just learn to say "fuck it" and do stuff when you're really young cause otherwise you'll find later that it gets harder and there's more to risk

I was abused by my mother for the majority of my childhood before my dad finally got custody when I was a 14ish, and now that it's been sixish years, I still carry the trauma: I was homeless for a while, I wanted to kill myself constantly, I had no hope for my life for nearly two decades, and so on. I probably have PTSD, though I haven't been diagnosed. But, now that it's been so long, I'm healing.

It makes me quite sad to see people say things like "bullying makes you tougher" because it doesn't. It makes you worse, even if it doesn't show. But, even so, I would not be where I am today without the trauma: nowadays, I'm a successful college student, I'm nearly done writing a novel, and I'm (mostly) mentally healthy, all *in spite* of what happened to me. My biggest act of rebellion, my biggest "no, fuck you" is to be far, far greater than I ever thought I could be, back when dying was the only thing I thought of.

Being homeless gives you a great idea of the value of money, being abused gives you a great idea of the value of a healthy relationship, being suicidal gives you a great idea of the value of being alive -- if you confront the pain. Some people genuinely don't seem to understand the value of these things, but I do. I do.

Sadly, not everyone survives. I nearly didn't. So, if you understand what I'm saying, go talk to your sad friend, go and laugh with a stranger, go and be kind to people who haven't known a moment of kindness in their lives. Even if you don't know the kind of pain I've been through, you can ease it in others.

Funny, I feel the same way. Im kinda scared of all the stuff they say about it, and I dont even know if im really that independent. Im just scared if this college is right and all the choices, there's so many choices and it seems overwhelming. I also looked into stoicism too and lots of self-help channels usually when I get super anxious. Im just scared it won't be okay.

>>7
I want to elaborate on this post I wrote earlier, some things happened lately as I got really close to another person this past week.
Through work I got into contact with this person and I only seen her a few times the past year but apparently we "clicked" as we talked about a lot of deep things and I talked about my frustration with trying to meet people and struggle with relationships.

A few days after, this person sent me a text message asking me how I was doing and I was like "yeah everything's fine" not really knowing what she was getting at but later she told me "you're a really good friend but I'm a bit worried about you" and then I froze, I almost teared up when I read that cause no one ever told me so directly that they cared, I really felt it and my frozen heart thawed a bit, we talked a bit more I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.

It made me feel so good, my experience with this person has made me so positive these past few days it's unbelievable. The best part is that I didn't see it coming at all and I feel like this small incident really hit me in the core.

>>21

It makes me quite sad to see people say things like "bullying makes you tougher" because it doesn't.

Being homeless gives you a great idea of the value of money, being abused gives you a great idea of the value of a healthy relationship, being suicidal gives you a great idea of the value of being alive

This is what they mean by this, though.
Hardships make you tougher in the sense that little inconveniences don't bother you anymore compared to other people who never had to struggle through anything.

>>23
But are you alright though? Why did she inquire about it? Also good luck with her!

For some reason being suicidal devalued being alive, being homeless made money worthless and being abused nullified the value of healthy relationships?

>>24

But are you alright though? Why did she inquire about it?

I didn't ask specifically why but we did talk about relationship frustrations and I did tell her that I'm struggling a bit with those kind of things. So I assume she picked that up.
And to tell you the truth, it does get rough on some days, sometimes I just want a hug but those things involve two people.
Tightening social restrictions also had a impact on me recently, seeing opportunities to meet people close on you when you need it the most really sucks.

So basically, I'm just a bit lonely, and I don't think I can hide those feelings.